I was raised Catholic, left, and returned to it about 11 years ago.

However, in the place I grew up, the pendulum seemed to have swung the other way, with all of the priests and religious-education teachers (nuns were almost nowhere to be found at my school) doing their best to make sure no one felt guilty about anything. Honestly, it watered things down so much that by the time I got through college, my attitude was, "If God isn't out to punish me no matter what I do, what's the point of doing the right thing?"

The Church has always taught about the consequences of sin, worldly or eternal (but I am fairly certain that she has taken no position on nose-picking), but she also always taught mercy, since Jesus saved the life of the adulteress who was about to be stoned to death. Unfortunately, some teachers within the Church emphasize one too much at the expense of the other.

My feeling is that guilt has it's place, but it only if it's appropriate (i.e. if you really did something to feel guilty about), if we respond to it appropriately (i.e. we change our behavior, seek forgiveness and make amends) and let go of once we've followed up on it.

As for being Catholic, I'm not going to proselytize, but I will say that I believe it enriches my life, helps me be a better person and brings me closer to God.

I was not raised Catholic even though my mother is from a huge Catholic family. I was raised very strictly anyway and I don't believe it gave me a very balanced outlook on things and it simply made me even more curious about the crap that was suppose to be so bad for me. The strictness didn't work for me is all I can really say about it.

I was baptized Catholic and went to Catholic school half of my life. Despite that, religion hadn't been a big part of most of my life. I also didn't have the stereotypical Catholic school experience I hear so much about. We didn't have many nuns when I went to school and the few that were there were nice. I don't really remember being made to feel guilty about everything, but that was some time ago. Anyway I don't blame you for changing your thinking. I wouldn't want to live my life with all that guilt and fear.

i was raised catholic as well. went to a catholic grade school up until the 6th grade. half of the teachers at that time were nuns. most of them were very nice. im not sure why they had such tough teachings and very strict rules. they did make you feel guilty for so many things. not sure why. even if you got less that a 100 on a test it was bad thing.as an adult i have not gone back to a catholic church. i have nothing aginst it . i just did not like all the rules and someone telling me everything i did was wrong.

"God is to be highly feared, you will be punished beyond belief for every sin, to love yourself is vanity...etc..etc... I think I will spend a LONG time in purgatory, etc....I have finally recently come to the realization that this way of thinking is NOT good."

....and highly unlikely. We are human beings. I am not a good person because I'm going to heaven. I am a good person because I have suffered and know what suffering is like. My suffering gives me empathy for other people. We are what we are as human beings. There is no religion or belief that is going to change that.

cypress, maybe im being dumb, but what do you mean by that?

I think suffering is intimately related to transformation in the Bible. We need a poke now and then to grow. But that is not the same thing as guilt.

The fact is, in this world, there is always going to be some sort of pain and suffering. Part of the journey is learning to trust God through it all.

You are right on Kristie!

as a kid I felt that you would go to hell by using god's name inappropriately, but I grew up and so some of the rules faded away.the way any church teaches us things is to respect and love god , but sometimes you just don't know about some of the rules, they have been tattooed in our brains and make us feel guilty .when I die god has some explaining to do at the pearly gates

I doubt you will be punished for the very thing God made you to be.

Born and raised in a strict Catholic family, baptized and confirmed. But ya know what i didn't find jesus, I lost him. Anyway I know where you are coming from. I had a teacher who would stick pencils in your nose. The emotional abuse was horrific. Yeah, if they want you to be a Catholic, why are they such assholes at times? Maybe because the idea of a god like you describe is of itself emotionally abusive.

I wasn't raised Catholic, but was raised to feel guilt for almost everything by Lutherans. People who torment kids either because they're on a power trip or are extremely superstitious disgust me. It has caused a lot of unnecessary harm to people's lives for millennia. Unfortunately, there isn't much that can be said to these tormenters either since they throw rationality out the window.

I'd say do the best you can in being patient and reassuring yourself that the way you're feeling is often because of BS that was taught to you -- not because you did something wrong. When one of those things pops in your head, try to just think about how ridiculous the thing you were told is.

I was raised Catholic and know it can hard at times but I wouldn't even consider going to another church. We have to remember that we are not perfect and never will be and the church itself is not perfect and has made mistakes over the years. I know the church always used scaring us into being good instead of teaching us why we should be good which makes more sense. I myself try to follow the ten commandments or what Christ said about if you love God and love your neighbor as yourself then you've done all ten. I think in the end all that matters is when we sin we pick ourselves up say we are sorry and keep going and as long as we don't give up or quit trying to be a good person we'll be ok.

Yes, I'm a LAPSED Catholic!

I'm 'cough, cough,cough,cough.......years of age' (Sorry, BAD coughing fit there!) but I still remember the 'fear' instilled, the 'guilt' trips. etc etc etc....

I remember being repeatedly 'whacked' on the palms of my hands (age 7???) for spelling a word incorrectly.... I remember a 'kid' being 'dragged' around by his ear (by a nun) b/c he didn't go to Church the previous Sunday... She (the nun) dragged him around by his ear in front of the entire class, proclaiming 'he would go to HELL b/c he didn't go to church'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT 'BASHING"!!!! But I think there are different eras of Catholic 'raising' - some are WORSE than others!

I have swapped memories with some... And theirs are worse!

Eg: A Teenage girl wore nail polish - the Nun made her put her hands inside the desk and slammed the desk lid on top of her hands.... A child had a 'spinal' problem, but the Nun decided he was 'lazy', and stuck a broom handle up his shirt/back (to straighten him out)....

LOL, I still feel 'guilt' for some reason(s).... WHY?!

I am a GOOD person, a GOOD Law abiding Citizen! Eg: I have (in over 30 years of driving) NEVER even had so much as a parking fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont get me wrong, my whole heart is in my church, because of God, NOT the Catholic religion. I feel like its my 2nd home. A sense of peace washes over me when I enter, because of God. I dont think God cares what religion we belong to, as long as we believe in Him. Yes, we were told if we didnt go to mass, we were bad sinners. I know ALOT of good people who never go to church, but still believe in God. I dont believe they are all destined to go to hell. Sorry if I was rude with my "dont bash Catholics" remark, but I hear it all the time. I dont go around bashing other religions. Unfortunately, our church has the "molester" stigma attached to it. I think God will punish those priests who do that. Thank you all for your input!