Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Its me.. Beastie.. I am having a hard time this last week.. Can anyone cheer the bear up? Please?
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
http://www.happynews.com/news/9172009/killing-cancer-vampire-slayer.htm
_____________________________________________________
Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.
The black bear says, "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."
He bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.
Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him.
The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, "Either I maul you to death or we have sex."
Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged!
Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear.
The polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"
There are two old farmers sitting out in front of the ole country store playing checkers.. Bill turns to Ted and says "remember when that black bear came through town and ate the ole school marn?" Ted answers "Hell yea, I grabbed my rifle and went up into them there hills and hunted for that ole black bear.. I was hiding behind a tree when all of a sudden up from behind me comes that big ole bear and he yells GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... oweeeeeeee... I SHIT my pants!!!"... Bill said "I would have shit my drawers to if the bear came up on me like that".... Ted says "No Bill, I shit my pants when I said GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
hehe... im just kiddin, we'r cool , right? lol
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fishing and Gaming is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. The department has posted the following notice:
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle any bears.
We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoors men should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear feces has little bells in it and smells like pepper.