I'm reverting to my old habits of escaping the monotony through fiction. It's a safe medium to experience and unlock old emotions, even if it's for a while. And it prompts me to think and realize more things about myself. But past a certain point I'm not sure it's healthy for me to do so and I end up in a worse state than I started when I finish something and get over that phase of hyperfocusing.

Unfortunately, reality is unpredictable and disappointing. Running away feels more fulfilling in the moment.

I don't know, isn't any point a possible tipping point? At any time things can fall apart. Someone can die, people can hurt you, you can get into an accident. At any time things can get better. You could watch a child laugh, be inspired, find a new hobby you love. I believe that it's best to look forward instead of looking back, though. Personally, the things I think about are like the final destination on my brain GPS- thinking about the past too much slows my progress.

That's a really good mindset to have, especially because I'm feeling like I'm chained to the past because of the stagnant period I'm going through. Every step forward is a step forward, and even a step back is a step taken. Thank you for your reply! I wasn't expecting anyone to respond to anything I posted before I fell asleep.

mimosatea: I seriously recommend "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, as well as books by Abraham-Hicks. They contain a lot of answer that you're looking for. Also consider taking up Aikido training, in order to center in the Now.

This is when you make up your mind to fight. You are at a crossroads, you can go towards Stability or what some people call a remission, or you can do nothing and sink right back into the depression and let it control you.

Get up each day, shower, eat a protein rich breakfast, doesn't have to be a lot of fuss or food, a greek yogurt is plenty of protein, if you work, then go to work. If you don't then go out for a morning walk and soak up some Vitamin D filled sunshine, doesn't have to be long 15 - 20 minutes. Then find something else to do, either some activity that you normally enjoy or an activity that might help others like doing some volunteer work; you can work with animals, you can work with the homeless or at soup kitchens, you can go to an Older Folks Home and read to those who can't see, (I used to love to do that, but I love to read.) You can volunteer at a hospital, I used to love to work in the NICU/Baby Nursery rocking babies, its one of the most calming, feel good, things you can do, if you like babies. When I would have a really bad day at the office, like if I had to fire someone, or something that just made me feel bad I'd go to the Animal Shelter and just spend 30 or 45 minutes in the Kitten room, watching the kittens play and climb all over me, it took all the bad feelings I had and replaced them with a happiness....its hard not to be happy when kittens are playing all over and around you.

The point is, this is the time where you dig your heels in and you fight, you get a leg up on the depression and you claw your way out of it with all you have. Small steps at a time, doing whatever makes you happy or content. Don't just let yourself sit at home and slump back into it. There are many kinds of therapy that you can do at home; Zentangling, Relaxation, yoga, gardening, journaling anything that makes you feel good while distracting you from the things that make you sad. Therapy is not just going to your Tdoc's office and sitting on a couch and talking, there are so many kinds of active therapy. Animal Therapy, Art Therapy, Dance Therapy, many different things that are designed to replace the bad feelings in your head and help you be calm and happy.

It's your choice which way you go, but this turning point can be a major chance for you to get on the other side of the depression.

Take care,

kat

I actually used the snipping tool to get a little picture of this convo and save it in my computer :) You're so very welcome. Though i am painfully young, it's amazing that my soddy advice can help somebody.

If bipolar depression were that simple, there would be no need for medication. Even clinical depression would not necessarily respond to "natural" or "subjective" forms of treatment. Bipolar depression is a whole different animal. As with clinical depression, it takes medication to ease its symptoms. That is one thing that distinguishes clinical depression and bipolar depression from average, ordinary, everyday garden variety depression. Although not always for clinical depression, bipolar depression absolutely needs medication in order to manage and control it. Along with the manic symptoms, which may appear at the same time with the depression (God forbid) or, more often, on it's own..

@shihonage I googled your username because I was curious and I can tell that Aikido has been a big part of your journey! If you like self-help and empowerment books you might like this podcast called "Happier with Gretchen Rubin", who also wrote "The Happiness Project" if you want to give if a read (that is, if you haven't already!).

@OlderCPer Thank you for your thoughtful and in-depth response! I do volunteer at the hospital and recently just learned how to talk to patients outside of the routine lines they give you. I do try to complete some of your suggestions when I can, and your list reminded me of how much they actually help and that I should do them more often. I'll also look into buying Greek yogurt.

@OllieTree It's not soddy advice if it helped someone! Hearing that you saved a screenshot of this thread made me smile and glad that I posted.

@starfish I definitely agree...going through cycles but not knowing how long anything lasts feels akin to riding on an airplane during turbulence and feeling the drops in the pit of your stomach.

Starfish who are you referring to with the BiPolar Depression. I have BiPolar Depression, but didn't mention it. The OP posted under the Depression Board and said nothing about being BiPolar.

The differences between BiPolar Depression and UniPolar Depression is that BiPolar combines more than one mood to deal with and depending on where a person falls on the BiPolar Spectrum those moods can change rapidly. As UniPolar depression reacts normally to just an Anti-Depressant, BiPolar Disorder requires a cocktail of medications to treat various different symptoms.

You mention things that aren't quite accurate. Average, garden variety Depression, UniPolar Depression, Clinical Depression and MDD are all the same thing....Depression. Depression in any form can require medication to manage it along with Therapy to deal with the underlying conditions.

BiPolar Depression is different in that it's part of BiPolar Disorder with is a Chemical Imbalance in the brain, it's on of the most severe and hard to treat Mental Illnesses.

When in a Stable period one can continue that Stable period by doing various different types of Therapies, it doesn't mean you stop taking your meds, or stop seeing a Therapist. Generally when Stable you see your Therapist less, like a monthly or bi-monthly visit and you can add any other types of 'feel good' therapies whenever you want.

I've been BiPolar for 28 years, and I've had stretches of Stability that lasted 10-15 years and I've never stopped my meds and I've always seen my Tdoc at least once a month....but I also use various other therapies like zentangling and watercolor painting which each use a targeted side of the brain specifically and are to be used when in a specific state of either depression or agitation. And yes the depression does respond to many natural forms of treatment.

One other misquote: Manic Symptoms cannot occur concurrently with Depression, when BiPolar your either Depressed or your Manic/Hypomanic. You can Rapid Cycle, which means to bounce back and forth between the 2 frequently, but you cannot experience the 2 at the same time.