A little background info:

I struggle with depression (diagnosed with the broad term "chronic dysthymia" c. 2006) and anxiety (self-diagnosed, but extremely apparent as I suffer from obsessive behavior and panic attacks occasionally).

Some days are good, and I can function almost entirely like a normal human being. Some days, all I want to do is curl up into a ball in my bed and stay there. The depression comes and goes in waves it seems like.

I should also add that I have a very, very mild case of HPPD (also self-diagnosed, but started about 6 months ago which I assume is from when I have done acid and mushrooms [four times ever in my life and never again, so this is not the place for a drug lecture, please. There have been many positive things that have come with the negatives from trying mind altering substances. I believe they should definitely not be taken by someone who is struggling with my kind of depression, whatever kind that may be.]). HPPD has really funked my eyesight up. 

For a natural remedy for the depression, I was smoking weed regularly which felt like was helping. However, I have recently quit because it seemed like it had started magnifying my HPPD symptoms and even causing some heavy panic attacks.

I do not medicate by taking antidepressants.

I do not LIKE taking antidepressants.

I have had very negative experiences with antidepressants. For example, I could literally HEAR my eyes move for a period of time after taking one kind.

I believe that I can WORK my way through depression without the help of man-made chemicals. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. I have made up my mind. 

I just do not like feeling like a guinea pig when it comes to medication.

I know it CAN and DOES work for most people.

However, I do not want to go through the process of finding the RIGHT one that would(might) work for me. "Take this, see if it works.", "Oh that gave you extreme negative side effects and didn't help the depression? Ween off of it for a few WEEKS while still suffering the side effects and the depression, and then we will get you on a different kind that may or may not work."

I'd much rather naturally give my body the nutrients it needs, and work on my coping skills to get through it all.

NATURALLY.

So, here's my dilemma:

I sleep so much, and yet lately I have been waking up feeling like I haven't slept at all.

I have extremely vivid dreams - SO vivid that I can recall almost every detail as the days goes on. It almost feels like I'm waking up from being in another world entirely.

Like I haven't really been asleep at all. 

When I am awake, my body feels so exhausted. For instance, walking up and down the stairs makes me feel light-headed. 

So: this exhaustion. Is it my depression acting up??

Lately, I have been mostly very, very tired. I do not regularly exercise, nor do I get out in the sun very often, which I know is important for everyone. I obviously should do these things, and could it be these things making me tired in the first place?

Or should I go see a doctor?

I talk myself into going to the doctor very frequently, and they will usually find nothing wrong with me.

In fact, I believe I may be a slight hypochondriac as I am always looking up my "symptoms" on the web and trying to find the reasons behind my very many, always evolving ailments.

But at the same time, I am not trying to discount how I feel. It is very hard to dismiss symptoms sometimes when I know they are really happening.

I want to be okay.

However, I am told that it seems like I am always looking for something to be wrong. And it does feel that way sometimes.

Now, here I am: stuck wondering if it is a normal symptom that I am overreacting to and just need to counteract it, or if this is an actual worrisome issue that needs to be checked out by a medical professional.

I am hoping I can find some others who can tell me that this tiredness is normal of depression. I know being tired is a symptom of depression, but THIS tired??

I know I cannot come here for medical advice, nor should I.

However, maybe someone out there can share their own experiences dealing with extreme exhaustion.

Is it like mine?

It this normal? 

I have been going through a strong wave of depression lately, so maybe it is just due to that. I know that tiredness is a symptom of depression. I am just EXTREMELY exhausted.

Is there anyone else out there that is attempting to manage their depression through a healthy lifestyle?

Are you feeling like you are getting much progress?

Do you have a support system around you?