Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members
160,807 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

Alone with people

Odiej
Odiej

I have people around me. But ALWAYS feel alone!! I am so tired of feeling this way. I have to keep EVERYTHING inside!! Nobody listens to me, nobody supports me, everyone is too busy for me. I am about ready to explode having to hold everything inside ALL THE TIME!! I am married and I love my husband very much. I know he loves me. But he is married to his job. He eats breaths and sleeps work!! He interupts me to talk about work!! Have my 78 year old father living with us now. He usually will go to warmer climate for winter but not sure he will be going anywhere this year. He and I are close, but I just dont think I am cut out for having him live here!! I was not raised by him and was molested by my moms husband as a child. I know I have issues pertaining to that when it comes to my dad. Suppose I am venting here nobody understands!!!

Breezy28
Breezy28
Honestly girl, gonna message you cause I know how you feel. It’s good you have a good husband, I live with my son’s father (we’re not together anymore) and his mother, and fuck it is hard. I get what you’re going through and have been molested by a family member as well which I know affects the dynamic and your familial interactions. You are not alone. Being alone isn’t bad, it’s being around people who make you feel alone that really sucks.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
Husband. Write him a letter ... pretty much saying what you have posted.

Father. It is a bit brutal, but tell him he has to move out.

See if there is better advice in this DS Group:

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/family-issues

Not that you are not welcome here.
Odiej
Odiej
Thank you! I do feel very alone. I try to be ok with it. I have a strong faith in God and Pray A LOT! Pray to have patience and understanding with my dad and believe me when I say I would have gone off on him several times had God not stepped in!! He doesnt really do anything wrong. He doesnt really have the means of moving out. Not sure I would really want him to, I just need to vent to somebody!! I get very impatient with his "set ways". I never have anyone to talk to about anything. I wish I could talk to my husband. And writing a letter would be a "good in theory" thing. He is just not an emotional kind of guy at all. He already suffers from an autoimmune disease but still puts in 80 hours a week at work.
Breezy28
Breezy28
You’re a really good person to be so patient with your dad. It is hard dealing with a parent so set in their ways. My dad is the same way for good and bad. You carry a lot of emotional weight between your space with your dad and husband. I know how it feels to just need to vent. I hope it helps you, and know you are understood. Here for you!
Odiej
Odiej
Thank you! It will help IMMENSELY! This little bit helped even!
Breezy28
Breezy28
That’s awesome :) You’re inspiring!
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
So you are going to pay for their shortcomings. Your happiness for theirs.
Odiej
Odiej
Yes. God doesnt call the qualified, He qualifies the called. He will give me the strength I need.
Tired
Tired
A good therapist will listen to you and can give advice on
your situation.
Odiej
Odiej
I have had lots of therapy and have been thinking I need to go back.
jannytheresa
jannytheresa
Maybe your dad doesn't have to move out. There are other things that you could try like finding some time for yourself to get out and maybe for him to get out and do things outside of the home. And self care is important when you are stressed out and trying to manage so much.
I admire that you're taking care of your dad--would a good talk with him help?
In any even, glad you checked in
Odiej
Odiej
You are correct. Need self care. I try. It is so hard to go do anything without him. He tends to be a shadow. Lol I have a hard time telling him I need time to myself. Sometimes I just stay in my room for a couple hours and "fib" a little say I was just reading. He wont go anywhere either. Tried talking him into going to the senior center. He says there are just "old people" there. Lol
patti22
patti22
Perhaps it what you and your father might need is really some more time apart?

At 80, is your father still active? Perhaps there are senior daycares around or even a coffee shop he might like to visit? Some schools have programs where seniors can read to children, etc, etc, etc.

Likewise, perhaps you can get out of the house to one or two weekly activities?

You never know until you look what supports might be out there.

Plus, if you plan on taking care of your father long-term when he does become feable, learning what resources are out there and making contacts now...might be a good thing?

In any case, venting is a great way of coping.

Wishing you the best, Patti
Odiej
Odiej
patti22 like I said hes not doing anything wrong. It would be nice to be able to go do our own things. One problem being our climate, just too cold and he doesnt handle it well, a other is he doesnt know anyone here. I dont work, and dont have any friends either. Because of what I went through as a child I lost most of my family. My only full biological sister thinks I am his favorite and has so much of her own issues she doesnt have time to listen to me or have anything to do with him even. I am very concerned about if and when his health does begin to decline I know it will be even harder. My other half sister, his youngest daughter doesnt have any means of taking care of him either. Her and I arent closs at all, lucky if I talk to her once a year. Sad but true.
foreverbeach11
foreverbeach11
Hi Odiej. Thanks for sharing. This forum is here to support you. I know it can be tough when our husbands are workaholics and caring for an aging parent. Maybe consider going back to therapy. Maybe they can help you with coping strategies on dealing with your father. Also, talking to your husband about your needs. Have you considered marriage counseling? If you husband does not want to go, maybe go on your own. You are in my prayers.
Posts You May Be Interested In