Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Alone in a World Full of People

Falcon05
Falcon05

My friends keep asking me why I keep being so ornery and it’s not that I try to act ill-tempered or have a nasty attitude I’m just depressed. I wake up every morning upset, spend my whole day sulking in it, go to sleep dreading tomorrow so I can just be sad some more. I’m down solely because I’m down and I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing. If it seems remotely fun, I’ll simply leave my depression at the door like a pair of shoes and I’ll put them back on my way out. I don’t know how to live any other way. I don’t know how to be anything other than depressed. The sun just doesn’t seem as bright anymore. I’ve been to counseling on three separate occasions, started going back (making this my fourth occasion), have a bunch of good friends, a good career, but in a world full of things and people I still feel absolutely alone. Alone because I never fit in, alone because I have never been accepted fully, alone because no one understands me. I just feel the need to simply wither away. I would never kill myself but I am certainly starting to let go.

GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
I'm sorry that you are feeling so sad. Do you get any sunshine? Is it worse in the cold months? Do you get any exercise? I know what it's like to feel misunderstood. It makes me angry. Are you in therapy? Do you take any meds? I remember a therapist telling me that I needed meds in my toolbox. I cannot go without them. Write back.
Falcon05
Falcon05
I work out quite often and try to spend as much time as I can outside but since its cold that may have an affect on increased emotions. I went back to counseling and before when I went I would literally feel lighter as left but now I don't have that feeling. It's just sadness before, during, and after. I really want to stay away from any sort of medication because lately I have been creating bad habits for myself and I fear that over medicating will be my another bad habit. "Bad" is relative and the habits I have now aren't the best things ever but they aren't nearly as inherently negative as addiction.
HotCzech
HotCzech
I think counseling and therapy is a good course of action.

A good therapist/counselor doesn't need to "understand" you. They merely need to ask the right questions so you can start to understand yourself. Once you have an understanding of yourself, the therapist/counselor can suggest a course of treatment to address the issues. And therapy/counseling has to be consistent in order to be effective.

When I was in crisis, I saw my therapist weekly for 12 months, then saw her monthly for another 9 months. During that time, I was introspective and honest with myself, and practiced CBT to "re-learn" effective life practices.

Good luck
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Falcon, thanks for writing back. You have me beat in the exercise department. I am planning to do a 30 minute walking workout that is on YouTube. I hope I like it. What are things that you really enjoy, or used to enjoy, that you can do now? My new therapist asked me about mindfulness when we first spoke but she never talked about it again. People on DS were aware of mindfulness. Maybe look into that. I have been single for 26 years. I have to make myself happy a lot of time. I'm pretty good at it. Right now, I am excited about my diet. The thought of having a nice figure makes me happy. I have to lose 75 pounds. Steve Harvey had two older women on his show, separately. One of the women is 82 years old. She explains her journey of going from bad health to great health. She even beat up a burglar, she got so strong from working out. You can apply her story to any goal. About medicine, that is your choice. You might want to look into natural supplements. Take care!
barista916
barista916
hi! is there a particular reason why you are depressed?
jilebe
jilebe
I can definitely relate. Most days feel like it is just lather, rinse and repeat. More mornings than not I wake up asking myself "what is the point". I still drag myself out of bed and manage to make it through the day. It is like someone sucked out all of the joy from the air. I have many things I enjoy, like drawing/painting and running but for some reason I avoid them now, even though I know they will make me feel better. I have a tendency to withdraw and isolate and I have done quite a bit of damage to friendships. I also feel invisible and alone for the same reasons. I often wonder if the reason I feel that way is because I am not truly accepting of myself and because of trust issues I don't let people close enough to have the chance to hurt me. I also think maybe I don't allow myself to connect with others, for whatever reason, which adds to my feelings of not being accepted and understood.
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