I wish I had an answer for you...

cause, like the rest of us, fear of failure or social anxiety or lots of other things we suffer are just too much to handle....

It's my experience so far that most people with BP or depression are highly intelligent sensitive people... and in the world today there isn't much room for those kinds of people...

so i guess what I am saying is.... you can take all the meds in the world go to 1000 therapist, whatever.... it doesn't really completely stop what we go through... so you have to choose... and it's so hard.. I don't know how other people do it.

Anyways, I know you been around here a long time, so this probably doesn't help much.... but in AA and NA when i thought I was an alchoholic/drug addict, before I discovered this damn disorder was really the underlying cause.... their thing was fake it till you make it... and as much as I hate that, sometimes that's what you gotta do... I just can't somehow

Sorry Alph.. Could it be Workaphobia? I think so.. Im just glad that I work for my son.. If he fires me I will kick his ass. lol.. Good luck my friend..

How do you feel when you're at your desk? Tell us all of your thoughts and feelings when you're actually there.

If you're feeling fine everywhere except work, some kind of social anxiety/phobia could be at the heart of this.

What is it about your job that scares you? Is it your co-workers? Is it possible for you to work from home? Maybe it can be arranged for you to work from home if it is possible.

Good Luck

Do you like your job?

I feel overwhelmed when I am at my desk. My schedule, my tasks, all blur together in my mind. When I look at a project to work on, I feel fear and my mind shifts to other thoughts immediately. I surf the computer and feel both relief and guilt as I do so.

Working from home would be worse, knowing myself as I do. I most decidedly do not like my job, except when I do. I am, by and large, bored to tears of it. I have been working in the same place for 27 years. I am in a golden noose. I am paid too much to quit, my experience will not transfer easily to another job, and we need my income desperately to survive.

since you have been there a long time is there anyway to delegate some task to others so you dont get overwhelmed?

work is about all i can do correctly. school is different though, because its new and stressful. i think its just trying something that youre not sure about, that makes you depressed. least thats the way it is with me.

I'm a great delegator. I've delegated all that can be delegated. I do have to do SOMETHING.

Sorry hun...there are no easy answers so just some hugs....xx

Personally for me, and I did tell them this, I reached a point where I'd rather kill myself than go to work. I took about 7 years of s..t off of them, and I couldn't take one more day. My chronic pain and depression had finally defeated me.

Ummmm, do you have outside counseling, I managed to get about 3 more years of working when I went for out patient therapy for a couple of weeks.

I still don't know to this day if it was my depression or them really being asswholes. Probably, a little of both. I don't do well under pressure, change, or with authority fiqures.

Personally for me, and I did tell them this, I reached a point where I'd rather kill myself than go to work. I took about 7 years of s..t off of them, and I couldn't take one more day. My chronic pain and depression had finally defeated me.

Ummmm, do you have outside counseling, I managed to get about 3 more years of working when I went for out patient therapy for a couple of weeks.

I still don't know to this day if it was my depression or them really being asswholes. Probably, a little of both. I don't do well under pressure, change, or with authority fiqures.

I do have outside counseling. I need to make this problem more the focus of my counseling more than the problems with my home life. My home life will remain. My job may not.