Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
About three years ago I started dating a guy. It was an instant attraction. At first he wasn't too possessive , and I liked the fact that I felt he was protective. But then as the months progressed he became extremely jealous , at the time I was very insecure he kind of found a way to break me down. He requires so much of my time and I willingly gave him a lot of it. When I moved in with him It became even worse. He was constantly checking my phone when I fell asleep and if if any guy had texted me (all platonic) he would get extremely angry and one time even went as far to smash my phone. It became extremely toxic but I felt like I loved him. He was bdp which I didn't find out til months in and I didn't really know much about it. I'm bipolar and can have bad mood swings and specially since I wasn't on medication at the time as you can imagine we had very nasty fights. One moring we got into a particularly terrible one and I threaten to leave. I did go but just to school. I had also made a doctors appointment that I went to after class. I had been getting very sick and I wanted to see what was going on. Well , I was pregnant. Basically when I told him he broke up with me saying he wasn't brrwaking up with me Because I was pregnant but because he didn't think we were working. But he wanted to still be in the child's life. I was heartbroken. I didn't know how to cope, it's sad to say I had become so dependent I didn't know how to go on without him. I told him about how the baby was doing but I wouldn't hear from him for days sometimes. I ended up having a miscarriage. I told him about it but he became angry and we didn't talk for 6 months. He finally contacted me saying he was going to be there for me whenever I needed.we talked on and off for a few months then without warning he disappeared without a trace and blocked me on fb. I had no idea why. He contacted me again months later. Then disappeared again. By this point I didn't care anymore because I knew this was going to keep happening. Well it's been two years he contacted me in December.we ended up hanging out one time where he confessed to me that he had blocked me and kept going in and out of my life because he couldn't call me his. I didn't know how to feel. It was shocking to hear from him but as you can probably guess now it's been splochy again. We talk then he disappears then we talk and back and forth. I guess why I'm writing this is mainly because I'm trying to understand what's going on. And why he does this. Sorry for the long rant I guess it's been on my mind and I felt like here would be the best place to talk about this.
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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I know this is stupid, but after not being able to find a job after graduation for almost two years, I ended up just taking an online teaching job because I couldn't find anything in my field. I was trying to get out of teaching and I feel so devastated. I felt this crushing feeling when I signed the paperwork and when I was in the meetings. I know that sounds so dramatic but it is how I felt. It...
From what you've told us, he is not a reliable relationship partner. This pattern of showing up and leaving will continue forever, no matter how many sweet words he says to you.
Don't get back together with him. When you find someone worth being with, you will be shocked at the cr*p that you took from him.
I agree with your assessment: he is toxic to you.
If he will die without you, let him die, or let him produce a ring. This way he's just all talk.
That is sometimes the greatest reward of writing honestly what is going on, we can find answers from our own writing.
I f you are not getting an answer, read it again very slowely.
It's kind of like journaling, we write everything that comes to mind and we often feel stuck in one place. But if I 're-read my entries I see clues on even the first time I am reading it back, but more often the AHA! moment comes after having let it go for a few days and then having come back to what I have written, and there is the answer, totally obvious. And you too will discover the right thing to do. Just remain strong and follow through on the answer you found, was given to you.
Good luck with your discoveries, but you are not alone, you have our understanding. I hesitant to give you -do this and not that - I believe that if you discover your path it will mean so much more to you.
But don't hesitate to post again if you are still undecided.
Good luck, hugs too