Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I joined this support group last night and I thought I'd share a little about myself.
I am a 31 years old woman suffering from depression and anxiety. I suspect I have avoidant personality disorder, but I have not been diagnosed.
I hope this doesn't end up too long, but I'll share some details about myself. Maybe someone can relate.
I grew up in a dysfunctional household. My parents had an unhappy marriage and would constantly fight, but they remained married yet never tried to fix their problems. I believe my mom suffers from mental illnesses as well, but she seems to be in denial. It's pretty obvious she has anxiety and probably suffers from depression. I also think she has other issues. My mom has always had an extremely low self worth. She has always felt she was ugly and that no one liked her because she was ugly.
I ended up with similar issues. Making friends was never easy because I was always afraid of rejection. I was shy and withdrawn. I figured if people didn't bother with me it was because they didn't like me and I didn't want to bother them. I did have some friends, mostly the kids I grew up in the neighborhood with.
School became difficult for me as I got older because I felt socially isolated because I just didn't make friends and I felt that no one liked me. My first year of high school was so overwhelming for me that I stopped going until I got in trouble for truancy. My parents recognized I had an issue and tried to get me help, but I refused. I did not really understand what was going on with me. I was just afraid of getting professional help because I felt everyone would think I am crazy.
I finished high school but I did not go to college because I did not want to continue my school when I hated it so much. I also was overwhelmed with the cost and did not have anyone to help.
I tried working, but I would end up quitting because I felt like an outcast at work. Everyone was friendly, but I still could not make friends. I also would put so much pressure on myself to do well, but I feel completely incapable of doing anything. I just felt like a failure. So I have lived with my parents.
My parents had me much later in life so they are basically old enough to be my grandparents. So I knew I couldn't rely on them forever and I needed to get my act together, but I could never find a way to do it.
My dad died on October 12th after a brief battle with cancer. We never knew he had it until it's too late.
If losing my dad isn't bad enough, life has become a bigger financial struggle for my mother and I. My dad had no life insurance because he could not afford to keep his policy. So we need to find a way to eat. We can't even afford heat this winter. On top of that we live in an old house in need of many repairs, but we cannot afford it. We experienced a lot of damage to the roof and ceilings during the hurricane but we can't fix it. I hope insurance pays for it.
I need to get a job, but I feel like I am such a failure that I can't handle anything. I also don't drive because I got into an accident about 10 years ago and haven't driven since. So I need to overcome that as well.
I have no friends or no family. Making friends had always been tough for me, but it's even worse now because I have no self worth. I have hated myself for not being able to financially support myself. I hate that I am a loser that has lived with my parents.
Most of my family are deceased. My grandparents have been long deceased. All of my aunts and uncles are also deceased, but I didn't know them well anyway. I have a much older half sister, but she has been estranged for my family most of my life. I contacted her before my dad died, but she ignored it.
So I am awfully lonely and terrified for my future. I am scared to death of losing my mother. When she is gone I will truly have no one in this world.
I feel like I have absolutely nothing going for me in my life. I feel like I have to be the lowest person on earth since I have nothing. No job, no friends, no family besides mom. If it wasn't for my mom and my cat I'd have no reason to live.
I really need to get my life together but it's hard when I don't see an end to this misery.
I am a 31 years old woman suffering from depression and anxiety. I suspect I have avoidant personality disorder, but I have not been diagnosed.
I hope this doesn't end up too long, but I'll share some details about myself. Maybe someone can relate.
I grew up in a dysfunctional household. My parents had an unhappy marriage and would constantly fight, but they remained married yet never tried to fix their problems. I believe my mom suffers from mental illnesses as well, but she seems to be in denial. It's pretty obvious she has anxiety and probably suffers from depression. I also think she has other issues. My mom has always had an extremely low self worth. She has always felt she was ugly and that no one liked her because she was ugly.
I ended up with similar issues. Making friends was never easy because I was always afraid of rejection. I was shy and withdrawn. I figured if people didn't bother with me it was because they didn't like me and I didn't want to bother them. I did have some friends, mostly the kids I grew up in the neighborhood with.
School became difficult for me as I got older because I felt socially isolated because I just didn't make friends and I felt that no one liked me. My first year of high school was so overwhelming for me that I stopped going until I got in trouble for truancy. My parents recognized I had an issue and tried to get me help, but I refused. I did not really understand what was going on with me. I was just afraid of getting professional help because I felt everyone would think I am crazy.
I finished high school but I did not go to college because I did not want to continue my school when I hated it so much. I also was overwhelmed with the cost and did not have anyone to help.
I tried working, but I would end up quitting because I felt like an outcast at work. Everyone was friendly, but I still could not make friends. I also would put so much pressure on myself to do well, but I feel completely incapable of doing anything. I just felt like a failure. So I have lived with my parents.
My parents had me much later in life so they are basically old enough to be my grandparents. So I knew I couldn't rely on them forever and I needed to get my act together, but I could never find a way to do it.
My dad died on October 12th after a brief battle with cancer. We never knew he had it until it's too late.
If losing my dad isn't bad enough, life has become a bigger financial struggle for my mother and I. My dad had no life insurance because he could not afford to keep his policy. So we need to find a way to eat. We can't even afford heat this winter. On top of that we live in an old house in need of many repairs, but we cannot afford it. We experienced a lot of damage to the roof and ceilings during the hurricane but we can't fix it. I hope insurance pays for it.
I need to get a job, but I feel like I am such a failure that I can't handle anything. I also don't drive because I got into an accident about 10 years ago and haven't driven since. So I need to overcome that as well.
I have no friends or no family. Making friends had always been tough for me, but it's even worse now because I have no self worth. I have hated myself for not being able to financially support myself. I hate that I am a loser that has lived with my parents.
Most of my family are deceased. My grandparents have been long deceased. All of my aunts and uncles are also deceased, but I didn't know them well anyway. I have a much older half sister, but she has been estranged for my family most of my life. I contacted her before my dad died, but she ignored it.
So I am awfully lonely and terrified for my future. I am scared to death of losing my mother. When she is gone I will truly have no one in this world.
I feel like I have absolutely nothing going for me in my life. I feel like I have to be the lowest person on earth since I have nothing. No job, no friends, no family besides mom. If it wasn't for my mom and my cat I'd have no reason to live.
I really need to get my life together but it's hard when I don't see an end to this misery.
-
Do you think anxiety is genetic or comes from your environment? What are your thoughts?
-
Many of you know Mr K told me to "shut your mouth" in March 2025 when we took a road trip to Alpena Michigan. Since that time, we have had lots of ups and downs but I have never intentionally hurt Mr K in anyway. And when we first started dating in 2024 he let me know, although he is an engineer by degree, he has an extremely low EQ. Overall, he is ok (not off the charts nice like other guys in...
Put your hand over your heart. Feel that? That thump, thump, thump? That's called Purpose. You are here for a reason. Find out what it is and pursue it. Pursue it with vigor, and don't let anyone tell you that it isn't a worthy goal. Start small, and build on each little success. You are a child of God, and He has a plan for you.
I wish you all the best.
~theGuardian
Thankfully I found this site!! They're a great group of people! We are all constantly rooting for everyone! Once you find people whom you can trust and turn to.. It does get better! Talking always helps! Lastly don't be afraid to ask for help! You're not alone in the journey to recovery!
cb89, I am sorry you are going through something similar. Do you fund therapy to be helpful?
gramybear, You reply brought tears to my eyes. I desperately would love to see that rainbow. I think one of the hardest things for me is that my life has seemed so bleak and it has just be one bad thing after another that I would love to see that light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard when it has just been darkness.
theGuardian, I really needed that. Thanks.
Busybee21, thank you. I have a fear of failing and being a disappointment. One of the hardest things with my dad's death is I felt like I was a huge disappointment. I so regret that he never got to see me get my life together. My biggest wish was to get everything together so my parents would no longer have to worry about me before they would be gone.
Dont be afraid to take the first small steps as nothing but good can come from this. You need to gain self confidence and self esteem. You can do it because you have already made the first step by asking for help and advice. Well done and give yourself rewards for your steps towards getting your life back.
Welcome again and keep on asking for support.
Love
Gargoyle
Fairygargoyle, You are so right. I just made an appointment with the doctor so I hope I am on the road to regaining my life. I do feel a lot better doing this.
Juice, Thank you. I am so sorry your son struggles, too.
I think it's terrific that you've made a doctor's appointment. Be proud of yourself for taking that step. It's not easy, and you did it.
Fairygargoyle has excellent advice: pick one small goal and work toward that. We depression sufferers tend to take on too much and when we (naturally) can't achieve it all, we feel even worse. By the same token, thinking of ALL the things that are going wrong is overwhelming and makes us even more depressed.
Nobody is such a failure that they can't handle anything. Neither are you. Your depression is telling you you're a failure and worthless. But just recognize that these thoughts you have aren't rational. There ARE things you can do, and do well. You have put way too much pressure on yourself to do 100%. Please be gentle with yourself; you are only human, just like we all are.
I went for many years not driving due to fear, but got back into it. You can, too. Same with school. Maybe take one class at a community college, just to get into it again. See if you can get a part-time job. Don't try to get something high-pressure, or with a lot of responsibility. Just something little, to help build your self-esteem.
Call your utility company and see if you can get some kind of hardship allowance that would reduce your heating bill. Food banks are great places for help with groceries; and don't hesitate to go to one -- in this economy, you are not alone in needing those services.
A lot of people right now have no job, and you'd be surprised how many have no friends or even family, either. So you are not alone in that.
Please keep posting here ... a lot of us can relate to your struggles, and we all want to help. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
etherize - Thank you for your words. They are very helpful. I just applied for heating assistance (they started taking applications yesterday) so hopefully that comes through soon. I am tired of feeling cold! I also applied for food stamps until I get back on my feet. I hate that society makes us feel ashamed for needing help.
We have a few things in common- I too have had many problems over the years fitting in/making friends...which leads to major self esteem issues. I found no relief until i found a couple things i am passionate about- I love what guardian said about purpose....once i found one, i finally had at least one reason to keep going.
Welcome! I am pretty new here too- msg me anytime you want to talk
If you ever want to talk, please feel comfortable enough to message me and we can talk, or if you see me on Meebo. Mine hasn't been working right lately but sometimes it does. I guess that is why we have messages to send. Thank you for what you said and I truly meant it. I know your rainbow is close by. Bless you hon.. Hugs.
I really need a purpose in life. I feel so useless and worthless without a job. I can't wait until I get stabilized so I can work, provide, and find independence.
gramybear - Thank you. I appreciate that you are willing to listen. I will probably be messaging you when I need to talk. Sometimes I feel so lonely that it's nice to hear from others.