I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so down on yourself. You know, sometimes things are my fault but most times they really aren’t our fault. The more we beat ourselves up then the more unhappy we become. I think this depression group is slow so I’m going to find the link to the general one, for anyone, because I know it’s busier. Very kind people on there.

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/depression

Dear Lost---

I know a little, just a little about some beautiful Native American practices. I don't know this in great detail, so it is an outsider's understanding, but the practice I am thinking about involves a rite of passage ceremony that celebrates and supports young people. At some part of the ceremony the young people (I think going into puberty, so teenagers) with help of their tribal spiritual leaders, visions, or other guided experiences, receive adult names that focus on some vision for just how special and amazing their potential is.

When I was a teenager I was pretty depressed, and DID think a LOT of things were my fault. I was SO lucky to have a sister just a little older than me who I could go to and talk about how awful I felt and how guilty, and she was honest to tell me if I really had done something I needed to correct or apologize for or learn from, but most of the time she was just there telling me that she loved me and didn't think I had much of anything to do with bad things around me. Over a lot of time I have learned that when I am anxious or depressed I do have times when I really do feel like EVERYTHING is my fault and will never be better. Getting counseling and doing a lot of reading about how people deal with anxiety and depression, and spending as much time as I can with people who are very positive and kind to other people has helped me a lot to like myself better most of the time, and not blame myself so much.

Back to the Native American tribal people who give their young adults the experience of a new name that focuses on how special they are---on this site of course for safety, etc. we all have names that say something interesting about us. Mine, for example, is my Gaelic name from Ireland Ouilliam which you see as my identifying name on this site is a name you may know in English as William, which means "protector". My name that comes out of that which is the short version and a bit friendlier is Liam. I hope members of the Teen Depression Support Group or the DS Depression or Anxiety or other groups where your post lands here will step up to suggest a new tribal name for you to set you on the road toward appreciating yourself with more joy and focus on the positives in you.

My entry for a group suggestion for your adult name (or nickname) is Joyful Glowing Ember. I sense that you are a person who is capable of making the world better by sharing light and warmth and teaching those who are deeply hurt to search for the best for themselves and others.

In all my long life the times I have felt most at peace with myself and with the world has been when I worked hard to help other people feel better by doing some random piece of kindness for another person or group of people.

I hope a lot of people see your post and send you hugs and ideas, and new names for you to try on!

Hugs, Joyful Glowing Ember!

Liam

Unfortunately, all the time

Not everytime but whenever something is wrong I always first question myself if I am the reason and manytimes I don't know the answer.
That being said ..it helped me a lot to try to remind myself of the good things that I've done in past and remind myself ( my good friends are very helpful with this ) that I am a good person even if i'm not perfect and do many mistakes all the time.

I feel often guilty and that everything is my fault because I was not able to protect my daughter nor her son from the horrible things that happened to them.