Just taking medication is not an adequate treatment for depression. He needs to see a Therapist, you just can't deal with it on medication alone.

When you're the spouse of someone with severe depression, you often need an outlet for your feelings, it's a very, very difficult thing to deal with day to day. Have you considered seeing a Counselor or Therapist? The success rate of marriages where the Depressed Spouse is not seeing a Therapist is very low. It goes up significantly if your both seeing someone. (not the same someone)

You have a right to expect your husband to treat his Depression to the full extent. I would have a very real conversation with him regarding how his Emotional Illness is affecting you and your marriage. In doing so though, make sure you come from an understanding place and not a "superior" place. If you have to write it down and practice it before hand. When people are depressed their perception of things can be skewed, they don't do it on purpose, its just part of the illness...it makes you feel like everyone is against you and better than you.

If you can get your husband to see a Therapist regularly along with his Depression meds he would probably feel a lot better. If you saw someone once every couple of weeks to begin with then once a month on maintenance, so you have an outlet for your feelings.....your marriage would most likely be much stronger than it is right now.

Take care,
Kat

I love my husband too, but it is exhausting. Don’T beat yourself up over your thoughts. My husband too thinks I’m talking down to him. I mostly try to ride it out and talk when he’s not depressed, but that doesn’t always happen. Good luck.

Please find yourself someone to talk to. A therapist or even just a close girlfriend or family member. It's really important that you find support yourself to help to you deal with his need for support (especially if he's not seeking it on his own).

You need someone to support you.
He needs a therapist also. My husband was really reluctant to go to one. But he finally has. Fingers crossed. Thank you for sharing, you are not alone.

I seriously could have written this. I don’t have advice but know that you’re not alone. And I’m looking forward to reading what others suggest

This is exactly how I also feel. I have no one to turn to that will listen and not judge though. I just feel like it is never going to get better and I don't know if I can forever live like this.

I am wondering when you know you are done?
I look at My husband and see the man I loved.
I don't see future. I see ongoing daily stress of his mood fluctuations and reluctance to seek help
I see our future gone.
So sad and not sure if feeling selfish or realistic ....

@travellingprincess geez, I don't know. Honestly, I'm not trying to wait until everything I have has gone into the black hole of my husband's depression. The difference between me and him is that I can see myself beyond our relationship and he can't see beyond next week. I'm not in a position to do this now, but I'm a little bit, I'm going to give him an ultimatum. I need to see him trying, I need to see some tiny light of progress, or I'm out. I didn't sign up to be his mother or his maid or his nurse. I entered the relationship expecting a partnership, and that's not happening. If I give him my whole self, my whole life, and then wait until he destroys me and our family through inaction, it's going to take me forever to recover. I have kids and I have myself to look after. I think you give chances/hints/suggestions and then when the scale tips too far towards him, you just say it's the depression, or me. Protect yourself <3