Have you talked to her doctor, there are some meds that may be able to help this situation. There is no cure but some of the meds may help you and her to cope with the situation. I strongly recommend a doctor visit and discussion.

Wow! Your Grandma sounds so much like my Mom it's scary. The constant talking, the eating problem , the baths, the phone, the car thing. And my mom always talked a lot anyway but the dementia has exacerbated it. She has to verbalize every thought that pops into her head.

You said your grandma is on medications. How long has it been since they were reviewed? They may need to be updated. But even then, it may not make any difference in her behaviour. Some patients respond well to some of the dementia drugs as was the case with my mom when she started Exelon. But as her condition worsened, her doctor added Namenda. There was no improvement but it still may help slow the progression.

The bottom line is, it's unlikely that she will get any better over time.
Eventually the realization sets in that all you can do is make sure she is safe and comfortable. My mom seems happy most of the time. She doesn't have a care in the world. Unfortunately the families don't have that luxury. We still have kids and lives and jobs that need attention. Raising an 87 year old child at my age certainly wasn't in my life plan.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. Well maybe a little. I just hope that if I find myself in a compromised situation when I'm older that I recognize it early enough to put myself in a facility and not put my family through this. And I don't mean to sound trite, but I keep telling myself it could be worse. I thank God that she doesn't have Alzheimer's. This caregiver stuff is hard. Get all the support you can. Whether a group, friends or family. Even a therapist if you think you need it.

Sometimes caregivers and family members get so caught up in caring for the patient they don't recognize how it's affecting themselves. Good luck and keep posting.

Yup! That's typical dementia: short term memory loss, constant talking, humming, obsessing about things etc....

What can you expect? Well, you can expect it to get worse with each passing year. Few people actually die of end stage dementia. Most of them succumb to other illnesses such as pneumonia, sepsis (if they are bedridden) etc....

I think it's a very good idea for the nurse to be with your mom 5 days a week. Possibly someone else could be with her the rest of the week. Dementia patients are often at risk of falling down and possibly breaking their hips. This usually causes a downward slide from which they never recover. I know because this is exactly what happened to my mom last year. She had someone watching over her but she still managed to wander out of the house. You have to keep an eye on them as if they were children. You never know what they will do.

I wish you and grandmother all the best and a lot of patience. :-)

The site with wrist bands that LindaV links to also has signs. Look into this. The sooner you put a sign (don't need words -- she won't be able to read them down the road) on the bathroom, the better. She'll get accustomed to it now so when she gets worse she'll have a visual memory she can rely on. Maybe you can google a restroom sign and print it out?

With my mom, we found music was very helpful, not just for her, but for us as well. She'd sing along and the incessant chatter would stop, for at least a bit.

Also, you might want to give her things to keep her hands busy -- large beads she can string (think kid's size toys. Look at toys for ages 2 -- 4.)

We tried to get mom in an adult daycare place, but waited too long. Her dementia was too advanced and she couldn't adjust or participate. I wish we had thought of it sooner. That was the main thing I learned. We weren't proactive enough in preparing for the next stage and making it easier for her and for us.

Sorry you are going through this. She is lucky to have you in her life.

Thank you all so very much for your kindness and help. Yes, it is one day at a time. I will be taking many of your suggestions to my family to help ease the burdens a little, especially on my dad who is her "preferred" contact.

One other question - I've tried very hard to gently explain this situation to my 6-year old son. He's very sensitive and intuitive to people, however some of her behavior upsets him sometimes. It's not his fault, it's a VERY hard thing to understand especially when he remembers the times when she didn't ask what his name was 10 times in 2 minutes. What is the best way to help him during the times when her behavior is a little erratic or upsetting to him?

Hi MissWinnie,

I am new here too, and have almost exactly the opposite problem that you mention in your first post. My Mother (who is 80 and has cerebellar degeneration, which affects her balance, in addition to the dementia) will absolutely NOT ask for help with anything.

It so frustrating for me, because she tries to make drinks and spills them all over the floor because of the ataxia. She doesn't want to be a bother to anyone, but she doesn't understand that the consequence of her making the drink is that I have to clean up the spill and get her the drink anyway. This goes for foods as well. I had to shut off the oven, because she left food in there until it caught on fire. Now, when I make something, I go to the basement and turn on the circuit breaker to the oven to prepare the food, and then go down and turn it off to keep her from trying to cook food in it when I am away from the house. She will still put the food in there, turn on the oven, walk away and when I return, I usually have to throw it away.

She does have the "Diarrhea of the Mouth" though. She doesn't seem to require the attention your grandmother does, but she NEVER stops talking. If someone calls her phone that I would need to talk to (Dr, lawyer, etc), she will follow you around and talk, talk, talk, until you have to tell them that you will call them later. About the only time she doesn't talk forever is when someone calls to talk to her. She waits about a minute and says 'Thanks for calling" and hangs up on them. She says she doesn't want people to waste their money using the phone. My sister (who lives in FL and we are in CT) called to say that she had to go in for an emergency surgery. Mom hung up on her after a minute, and because she doesn't think Mom has Dementia (she's in denial) she was very hurt by that.

Eating-wise is a big problem for my Mom. She will pick little pieces off her food and that's all she will eat. Then she will give the rest to the dog (who is overweight). Even the Boost shakes she does not finish. Dr's advice (give her lots of small high calorie snacks) doesn't seem to work either (she does the same thing).

One thing that did help me, and this was specific to my Mom and actually our family, is getting her on a medicine that helped control "racing thoughts". My Sister and I have been diagnosed with this condition (you jump from one idea to the next in rapid succession and it's hard to keep focus on one thing) and my Mom always seemed to have that problem too. I "convinced" her neurologist to put her on the same med as my sister and I, and it seems to have helped a little. She wouldn't even finish a sentence and start a new idea right in the middle of the last one: "Could you get me the... When the game is one tonight I want ... Did you get the mail today." The dementia is still there, but she finishes her thought now "Could you get me the sugar." but she has nothing to add the sugar to.

As far as your son goes, I would try and see if there is a child therapy agency in your area. Many child therapists are trained to help kids with many of life's problems and can also help you to communicate with you son better about what is going on.

This website is terrific for sharing problems and successes. I tried to find a group in my area, and all there seems to be is Alzheimer's support groups. I was recommended to attend one of these, but when I started talking about my mother and her dementia, they basically said 'This is the wrong group for you... you need to find a dementia support group" (and I cannot find one in my area).


I wish you, your son and your grandmother all the best MissWinnie.

Hi everyone, The lady that I take care of is 94 years old. She is a hand full to say the least. I have never seen anyone with the energy this lady has. She had a tstroke last year so her one hand does not work and she can't see out of the left eye. Her one leg doesn't work great but, let me tell you it doesn't stop her. She gets so angry at times. She punches me and bites and slaps and curses. She got out on me so I hasd her family come over and put locks on the tops of the doors where she can't reach them. Oh, the stories I could tell. Whew!!!! Hope to get to know some of you..:)

Wow, sounds just like my mom. Honestly. The incessant talking it driving my husband and I over the edge. It takes up all the space in the house, the same stuff over and over. She is stage 6 of 7, had to stop the namenda and other alz drugs because of the side effect of diarrhea (in her pants). She takes lexapro as her only behavioral drug, though we can do lorazapam as needed. My heart goes out to you.

My mom is the same way, I feel for all of you. She never stops talking and repeats the same things.

My mom is the same way also. Love her to pieces but I wish there was something I could do to help her with the non stop talking. I've learned to be more patient over time because I know she can't help herself. She has always been a talker and love lots of attention anyway, but this can be so exhausting. When I kindly ask her to give me a minute to concentrate on reading something on my computer, she sometimes get her feelings hurt. She requires so much direct attention as if nothing else matters and all the focus should be on her. She has to verbalize every thought that pops into her head and expects a verbal acknowledgement. Seems like it gets worse when she's tired but she refuses to go to bed. I could go on and on because I'm anxious about finding a solution. She's usually cheerful and happy but it can be a bit much sometimes. We play music and that helps a little but she still wants us to watch her dancing. I get a little relief when I step away for a few minutes to wash dishes, cook, or use the restroom but she starts up when I return. I know one day I will miss her dearly, even the constant chatter, but love is not enough sometimes when my brain needs a break. Help!!!

Oh, my, how I feel your pain! My aunt that just lost her husband this past February had never was able to have children. The rest of the family wanted to throw her in the nursing home and leave her there, but she begged us to take her out of the home. She had signed herself in to be with her husband in his last days. Her sister wanted her there so she could go back and strip her house of the things she wanted. Just a long sad story, but we brought her home to live with us and until just the past three weeks she has been doing amazing even with her diagnosis of Lewey Body Dementia. She was still paying her bills and doing almost everything for herself. She still toilets for herself but manages to use a double roll of toilet paper a day. She eats all day long, but eats like what a small child would eat if left to their own to choose. She wants cookies, ice cream, and candy. We do usually get her to eat one good meal a day most days. My mother works hard to fix her things she will eat. When we brought her to live with us she only weighed 99 pounds but she is now up to 128 pounds. Empty calories I know, but still she is filling out to what she was. She does exactly what your grandmother does. The entire time the TV is on she is talking and whatever is happening on the TV is happening to someone in the room. If there is a tornado somewhere she thinks it is where we are at right now and becomes frightened. For right now my father and I are the only ones who can get her to calm down and that she truly trusts. She cannot tell you what year it is, or even what day, or what season we are in and will tell the doctor it is snowing outside. No matter what anyone asks, she replies that the year is 1931. That was her birth year, so she remembers that well. The only other number she remembers is her social security number. Figure that out for me and then we will both know the answer. She still knows my parents, myself, my daughter and her three children but that is about it. However, she still remembers the three people who were so mean to her when her husband died and took so advantage of her and she remembers their names very well and she is furious with them. Talks about wanting to shoot them for what they have done to her. She gets confused and thinks her parents are still living and in the next sentence will say her parents are dead but she does not know where they are buried when she can see their graves from where we live. She gets confused and brushes her teeth for 35-40 minutes three times a day. You cannot get her to stop. She was bad to roam at night and go through our purses and personal belongings and no telling where you would find them. Some of our stuff has still not been found. She has a lot of hallucinations/delusions. She sees things running across the floor and talks to them in constant chatter as well as sees heads of dead relatives floating in the air. It breaks my heart as I know that this could happen to any of us at any time. It is so sad that science has found ways for the body to live longer but not figured out how to keep the brain healthy. She always wants to wash dishes, but she will wash in cold water, so we let her and then go back after she has made a huge mess and put them in the dishwasher. And, yes, my aunt wants constant attention. She tries to get someone to come sit with her constantly to watch TV and hear her babble. I cannot believe the difference in four weeks. It is like she fell off a cliff. This woman who was always dressed to the nines, with matching shoes, purse, and jewelry and now looks like a homeless person if you let her dress herself. She thinks she can drive and wants to drive, so we have to keep keys hidden from her as we are afraid she will try to break out and make a run for it like her brother did when he had dementia before he died. I have never seen anything like it. She can barely get around at times due to the Lewey Body and what it does with the muscles and joints causing so much pain, but if she gets scared about something she is like a little spider monkey and can almost climb a wall. My mother does a lot for her, but I will have to say that I feel the most sorry for my father. He took care of his mother until she died, then his father until he passed (the other 5 kids would come by now and then, but dad was there all the time), and then he took care of his brother for 18 months. He had signed himself into the nursing home, but dad was there everyday to see him and the last 12 months he was there to feed him breakfast and lunch and I would get off work and would feed him dinner. It was hard to get him to eat. He was so easily distracted. He had no children either. My dad is great with his older sister. She loves my dad because despite her memory loss she remembers the day he was born and how excited she was about the new baby and when he got to be five she would take him fishing. She drug him everywhere. It just amazes me as to the things she can remember. We try to stay one step ahead of her and what she might do, but let me tell you, with the three of us, it is still hard to do. She had to be in the hospital for 5 days and 4 nights so I stayed with her around the clock and would not even leave the room. She was frightened out of her wits to be in a strange place but as long as I was there, she could handle everything. It was an exhausting time, but I would have not done it any different. The fear in her eyes would break your heart. I cannot imagine what she was feeling. Here she is with her husband who treated her like a princess, gone and part of her family trying to steal her blind after telling her she had to stay in the nursing home. She felt so betrayed at the time, but now she just gets down right mad when she thinks of it. It is not fun when she thinks of it and starts in on the three responsible parties. I would like to hear from others who are dealing with Lewey Body Dementia. Right now she is on Namenda twice a day and Ativan prn when she gets really agitated, upset, or frightened and we cannot calm her. You can tell she gets so frustrated when the right words do not come out and I hate that so much for her. According to the Lewey Body website she is in either stage 6 or 7. I pray every day that God give us the knowledge we need and to show us what to do to take care of her the way we should to keep her healthy and happy until He decides to take her home to be with her husband she loved so much. She wants to talk about heaven all the time so we discuss that with her a lot. I wish all of you well in your dementia journey. I am so glad I found this site. I needed to hear from others and it sure helps when you know you are not alone. I would not wish this on anyone.

My heart goes out to you. It appears that she has many people who love her but are burnt out by her actions. I am your grandmother;'s age and have been caring for my 91 year old husband and it is frustrating to be around our loved ones who have dementia especially the ones who are difficult most of the time. My husband is pretty normal most of the time but I am with him all of the time. You must pace yourself and be there when you feel you can handle he excessive talking. It is better for you to pace yourself and for her too. That way you can be relaxed enough to be able to handle just a certain amount and that is better for you, your parents, and your grandmother. Hugs

I have had many replacement surgeries and metal rods and screws on multi-level disks with severe chronic pain but I go to a DOCTOR WHO DEALS ONLY IN PAIN who helps me with my pain so I am able to stay in my house and care for my husband even at my age. There are many resources out there to help you. God bless you and your family to be going through this most difficult time. Hugs and prayers

Hi has she been assessed to see what stage she is in? My mom has had vascular dementia for a few years it is caused by strokes she is now 86 and last stage ...I recall the obsessions with her purse etc ...I went to visit her in the home recently and it was the visit i knew would come she did not know me at all ....only on pureed food and even water needs to be thickened...zero quality of life ....Horrible disease and it sure doesnt get better but if caught early meds can stall the progression....hugssss to anyone who is going thru this my heart goes out to all of you