This is a great post. It's hard for me to remember, but I think it may have been Christmas Eve of 2007 , which was 3 months after my PE. I was with my entire family, which is our big tradition and it felt normal because no one asked me, how was I feeling, how am I coming along. It was like everyone was behaving as they always had, and so was I. It felt great to just sit in a room, laughing, eating, giving each other shit, which we normally do.

It was like the first time I hung out with people without the work PULMONARY EMBOLISM coming out of my mouth or anyone elses mouth.

Probably after my first visit with the hematologist when I got the green light to get in my hot tub with the jets blasting and all! That was about a month after my dx. Had a rum & coke too (followed by a big glass of ice water, but still, it was very nearly like normal).

It took me a while to have a drink again (limiting it to a single beer), that made me feel a bit more normal.

Yesterday I rode my bike again for the first time since my clot. This made me feel more normal and made me feel like I'd conquered some of my fear of the thinners.

I think it was graduating from the ugly white thigh-high compression stockings to the knee highs. But, actually, I think it was when I was cleared to drive by myself, and drove myself to the Mall so I could walk around (it was February!) and bought myself a pair of diamond earrings to celebrate that I was still here to buy them!

Sayhello

...when I felt well enough to care about going to the hair salon again.. wonderful and positive post.

I am changed forever. However, it taught me worrying is useless. All the things you think you are going to get may not happen and instead I got a blood clotting disorder I never heard of previously. I love bookstores, and try to have fun. I am also really into the television show lost. It has been great trying to figure it out instead of thinking about my health. I feel like there was a before moment and after. I am happy but the word is I am not "free". Pam

TnT what a cool thread :-)

I think, although I can't put my finger on the exact moment, it was when I stopped worrying about everything I put in my (cake hole as RMB has so aptly described it hahahah) face was going to put me back in the ER! I was out for after work for happy hour beverages with my co-workers and was sipping water while everyone was imbibing and the folks ordered a round of Tuaca and I had 2 and was crazy paranoid the rest of the evening that I would bleed to death. I had my INR tested the next day and was 2.3, but that moment I found I could have some 'normalcy' (moderation) and not compromise my health! Being on warfarin and being 'normal' (a bit) was possible.

I have expanded my diet, lost weight, exercise, and enjoy social venues (within reason) and beat back the fear factor, my INR has been very steady, life is good! The indulgent moment for me is realizing we can do this and be 'normal' -p