Don't blame yourself. If it's the issue of smoking you are in good company. No one who smokes/smoked planned on becoming ill with COPD/Emphysema. It's most likely our human nature to do things contrary to what may not be good for us. It's pretty hard to look into the future 30 years or more down the line. If anyone knew how it would be, probably no one would smoke.
My husband has mild COPD now, after quitting smoking over 30 years ago. Both my parents had it, many people I know suffer this terrible disease now.
Not one person I know had any idea how it would be if/when an illnesses struck.
I am of the opinion that it is NOT a person's own fault at all. No need to feel guilty, you haven't done anything terrible, willingly. How can anyone know the consequences of something that may have started 30 years or more ago?
What you can do is read all the positive and informative posts here
on this group and learn a new way of living a more healthy lifestyle with COPD/Emphy. There is a wealth of knowledge here posted by caring and kind hearted people with lots of experience.
I came here is desperation to find better ways of coping with using oxygen 24/7. I learned so much that I stayed for the good company
and fellowship here. I don't have COPD or Emphysema, but as i said someone very dear to me now has COPD, also many friends and family members.
Don't beat yourself up, just make a new commitment to live each day more healthy and more positive.
If someone tries to guilt you, they are just wrong. No one should be judged by anyone else in this matter.
Can I say onward and upward? Make each new day count.
Take care, be well.
Linda In CA

Howdy and welcome to a good place. Stick around and you'll find a whole bunch of great people. Most of us came here scared and ashamed, blaming ourselves to one degree or another. It takes a bit of time and knowledge to get a grip on the ramifications of our disease. Ways we can reduce and minimize the effects it has on our lives.
Having this disease isn't a matter of deserve, hate, shame or stigma. We get to live life on life's terms, never our own. Sometimes it takes a whole bunch more love and care to be at peace with yourself. And a little more knowledge about your relationship with this disease. You are not a statistic and what the docs and the web says isn't exactly gospel...

Hugs,
Dennis

i don't know how far along you are in this disease but life isn't over with yet.
many of us have lived years with this.
i'm on my 4th year & i was in moderate/severe when i was diagnosed.
i use spiriva daily & i have to wear 02 24/7 (others don't---we are all different) but i still live alone & care for myself, my dog etc.
i'm slowing down on some things, some things i don't care about any more (like it isn't the end of the world if my house gets dusty).
i do relate to your fear.
i was so scared when i was first told i had this.
then i realized i was no worse than the day before i was told.
so i found others here that showed me that we just keep going on & support each other.
and linda said, you can't blame yourself, you can take better care of yourself in the future.
i smoked like a chimney, but my sister never smoked a day in her life and she died of this disease at 61 years old.
is there a "stigma" to this disease that i don't know about?
anyway, welcome to the board. its a great place to be :)

The stigma is quite obvious. The warnings are on the cigarette packs. Unfortunately we have a preventable disease.....or do we? I believe some of us are genetically predispositions to COPD just as some people are more predisopositioned to cancer than others. Today I get my alpha 1 test. Then I can say...see it wasn't completely my fault I'm sick.
Look at the prejudice shown to fat people. Yes some are fat because they just won't stop eating but some are genetically predispositions to store fat with minimal food but the stigma is the same....not fair but that's life.

Thanks for all your support. I have been reading every post on this board and I know I'm not alone. I have been through a lot this past year first diagnosed with breast cancer, then learning my sister was stage 4 breast cancer, then a CAT scan showed nodules in my lungs and now this. I thought my breathing difficulties were because of my reconstructed breasts have turned hard and are pushing against my chest wall, which doesn't help my feeling of SOB at all. Then my doctor was treating me for asthma.. Deep down I knew that this wasn't asthma, doesn't feel like an asthma attack. My first inhaler my doc put me on helped but I was so hoarse it was really effecting my job so I had to stop. Now I'm waiting for an appointment with her (she is really, really busy) to see what else I can use. I still have at least 5 more years that I have to work unless I can get disability. I am going to make an appointment with a counselor. The stress is killing me. Thanks again for all your help. I am on a breast cancer site too and I know how much I can learn from others in the same position as me. A lot more information here than at my Doctor;s office.

Take care and Hugs to you.

hi welcome. are you seeing a pulmonary doc? are you to the point where you cant do your job? soc sec will go by your pulmonary function tests to determine disability. they did me anyway. if your numbers on fev1 are at a certain level below what soc sec standard, you will get it. I had no problem

Welcome. For now, just hang in there for now (give yourself a couple more hours). Before you know it, you'll be on the wagon for acceptance (the guilt fades) while living each day to the best of your ability - attitude is paramount.

We make all sorts of decisions during our lifetime; some outcomes are positive and some negative. Some decisions have everlasting affects; some don't. No matter what choices you HAVE made, what now matters are the choices you make today.

Stigma with disease? Not sure - with smoking yes. Anyway, as your family becomes informed they'll be okay and so will you.

Thank you for all the support. I know I will eventually have to accept this. It's just hard right now but this support group really helps. God bless all of you.

all the "cliche" sayings come to me;
shoulda woulda coulda doesn't help today.
this is the 1st day of the rest of your life.
so glad that you joined the board where we all got THIS disease.
interesting, i always feared getting cancer.
but when i started smoking there were no "warnings" on the package.
it sounds like you have been thru a lot with the cancer and now this.
i'm so sorry.
((((HUGS))))

Welcome........we all started off feeling terrified, scared and guilty when we were first diagnosed it`s only natural. Please don`t beat yourself up, hopefully you will learn ways to accept and help you cope with this all from this great group of people. Deep breaths now and relax as you are amongst friends x x

I just don't go there. I mean, why bother? Nothing I can do about the past...The serenity prayer helps. And I've gotten to an age where what other people think just doesn't matter.