COPD & Emphysema Support Group

COPD is a progressive disease characterized by airflow obstruction or limitation. Emphysema is characterized by loss of elasticity of the lung tissue, destruction of structures supporting the alveoli and of capillaries feeding the alveoli. Both have symptoms that include shortness of breath, among other respiratory troubles. If you are a COPD or Emphysema sufferer, join...

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Boo1962 08/06/2013

Hi there my adopted family,

I'm down in the dumps. This really isn't COPD related...but i'm sure it's not good for my copd, to be stressed.

They are "kicking" my Mom out of rehab, and she has to go into a nursing home. her Medicare, just so happens to have run out, as of this Friday, so Friday is her final day of coverage.

I've been wracking my brain, and calling everybody, to find out what to do, and how do I do it.

Luckily, I am on the "caring for an elderly parent Group" on here, but also feel the kindred spirits from all of you, when I updated you on her progress in the past 6 months. I thank you for that!!

So, i'm doing this all alone, I've been sick, stressed...tired, and having a very hard time walking. Val and I got in a huge fight last night, and I doln't even know why it happened!! I cried for an hour, and my eyes are all swollen.

I took 2 days off the "Nursing Home" search, but because of my emotions, I hardly slept 2 hours last night....and got up at 530am...

Ok, thanks for letting me vent.(not that any of you could have stopped me from typing, LOL)

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. One good thing is, I go tomorrow for my last office visit with the BARIATRIC surgeons office, and will probably get my surgery date. Of course that too, is on my mind. Life changing major surgery, in less than 30 days...UNDER ANETHESIA!!!

HUGS TO ALL,

Boo

Imarighter 08/06/2013

Aw, Boo...I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to ease your pain but maybe it helps some just knowing there are so many of us here at DS that care and are routing for you. You have my hugs, prayers, and good thoughts during this time of difficulty.

deegran 08/06/2013

me too Boo. what imarighter said. hugs. and good luck with those very huge changes in your and your mom's life. hope val and you work it out quickly.

deleted_user 08/06/2013

Tackle on thing at a time. Your Mom first and hopefully, everything else will eventually fall into place. Get some rest if you can. When I'm tired things seem more tragic than they really are and I'm prone to make emotional decisions which usually turn out to be bad ones. Feel better. You are in my heart and prayers.

joany 08/06/2013

I know of one too many family caretakers who face the same issue as you're going through with your Mom. As a 70+ woman, I've attempted time and again to make clear my expectations when I'm in the same situation. (I really need my son not to get stressed out when such decisions need to be made. I'm shocked at the costs, the insurance restrictions, the good and bad of nursing homes, etc.) In preparing, I've been overwhelmed, consequently nothing is finalized! So many factors involved.

I've received some good information from A Place for Mom web site. Most caretakers have been in your position (I'm looking for me as a caretaker of myself - seems to be an unusual search). I received an immediate response from A Place... e.g. I had just hit "Enter" when I received a call.

deleted_user 08/06/2013

I just want to add that I'm not making light of your situation. I too have experienced the same situation with a parent and it was stressful. At the same time I had a cruel spouse (no reference to your partner) who was no help at all and only added to the pressure I was already under. For my own survival, I had to focus on my Mom, then take care of everything else later. Blessing today and always.

debib399 08/06/2013

Oh Boo I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. I am in the same situations and I know how stressful this is. I find when we have so much on our minds it's so hard to focus on the day to day. Get some much needed rest and try to calm down and take one day at a time. It is so hard to be a caregiver when you too are not up to par. It's just so over whelming. My heart and hugs go out to you. I know you want what's best for Mom. Can the social workers deal with this for you? Honey try and get some rest and take care of you.
Much Love and Hugs,
Debi

grannie 08/06/2013

Hi Boo, sorry dear, it is part of life that some of us go through. I been there done that and all I can say is, take care of you, if you dont you cant take care of anyone or anything else. I learned that the hard way. Remember...this will pass and you will go on, so take care of yourself.

bjrapp2020 08/06/2013

Boo, All the advice given so far has been right on!!I do not know that I can add much, but I can give you a hug and say I am sorry you are going thru so much at one time, or it seems that way. You need to calm down and take care of you first, then you can deal with the stress of the nursing home situation. Is your mom going to be on medicare in the home? Or Medicaide? If so, which ever home you choose should have a person that does that and would help you with the paperwork.We all go thru such things, either as caregivers, or patients. I wish you the best , and hope things get better soon. Lot of big changes, lot of stress, so stay focused.
Love you my sister
Hugs
Brenda

deleted_user 08/06/2013

Boo, I am so sorry that you have all of this to deal with at once. I went through similar situations with both of my parents and , as an only child, I was caregiver for both. It's stressful and in the end you will feel good about all that you can do for them but I hope you have people in all of the right places to help you with information and resources.

Take care of yourself too!!! Sending many prayers your way for all of the right answers and a pace that makes it livable as much as possible.

Love and hugs, Cindy

jarca 08/06/2013

nothing i can add except big ((((HUGS)))) & my prayers are with you.

Boo1962 08/06/2013

Thank you everyone...

I'm doing ok.

Boo

dollaraudit 08/06/2013

I don't know that I can offer much more than support and hugs. It's hard to get through but you must take care of yourself or you're no good for your Mom. Luckily my sister and I both were able to keep our mother in a small mobile home very close to both of us and never had to face the nursing home issue until she was 91, broke her hip and passed away without every being fully conscious that she was in a nursing home. Our children chipped in during a couple of serious illnesses along the way for her and did their part so we had a support system. My Dad had passed away at 85 in 1983 so mother, who was 20 years younger, spent a good part of her elder years independently. Dad died right where he was standing - to tell the truth I'd like to follow in his footsteps. Like many of us I don't want to think about this issue and avoid getting prepared. One day it will reach up and bite us all in the butt.

It's going to be real hard for you but please know that we're all thinking about you and wishing you the best with this issue.

Boo1962 08/07/2013

thanks doller...!

Boo1962 08/07/2013

Mom's nursing home Phys.Therapist , just extended her stay at rehab., until August 22nd.

That buys me a few more weeks to figure out where she will go., and to get her to fill out her Medicaid application with social services to see if she qualifies for the Medicaid Excess Income Spenddown.

Boy, the people at that place (REHAB), really need a few lessons , on how to deal with the families. RUDE, and short, and just not very friendly!!!!

I'll be glad when she's outta that place!!

Me and the other half chatted, and going to work things out, and go slowly, and keep on trucking. Communication is so key in relationships, but I think I can help "Train her"...cause she's in need of some refresher courses!! LOL!!

Boo

deleted_user 08/07/2013

Boo, what are friends for, please vent as much as you need. Share those issues that eat at you so we can help. And we will help. I know that just having the forum to which to speak and write about that which bothers or frustrates you makes it easier sometimes. You being you and allowing us to help makes it all come out in the wash. We may not fix the problem, but we will share the burden of the problem. Take care, Bill

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