I finally went to my first Coda meeting yesterday.
The good: the meeting was well organized, ran on time, reviewed important readings, spent some time focusing on one important behavior of codependency/recovery, allowed ample time for open sharing and ended on time.
The bad: I'm not sure this format will be helpful for me. First off, no one comments on your shares and you can't comment on anyone else's! How is that helpful? Yes, I understand the underlying philosophy that individuals should come to their own conclusions, in their own way, and that focusing your energies into trying to "help" others in the group by offering advice is contrary to personal recovery and taking care of one's self. But how can you progress without feedback? There was one week man there who was afraid that her family would try to take control of her life now that she is divorcing her husband and has some mild cognitive delays. I could have pointed her towards some local resources where she could receive help and further information, but you can't do that because it's not allowed! I think maybe group therapy might be a better model for me for a while? I don't know. I realize Coda is a supportive place where I can share without judgement, but I kinda wish there was someone calling ME out on my ish to keep me focused. I'm not sure I will progress otherwise.
The ugly: I cried a lot and when I say "a lot" I mean my nose was raw when I left and there were several eyelashes missing. AND NOBODY ELSE CRIED. What is up with that? Why am I the only weepy one there? It makes me feel self-conscious and not want to go back. I couldn't even read some of the readings without getting weepy.
When it was over I got out of there fast. I didn't want to stick around and talk to anyone. I also did not accept a chip for my first meeting as I felt silly for it.
I won't be back next week because it's father's day and I have some plans with my hubby that day. I will likely try it again after that because I like the writing exercises and being reminded of the behaviors I am trying to adopt.
Histruggling atm with boundary violations in a friendship . Background 7 year friendship with a girl who has a very strong sense of self and alpha female personality not a narcissist but due to a loving self focussed upbringing that’s her personality . In the friendship group there’s me whose recovering from codependency and another friend who is a codependent in denial now there’s a few...
Not sure how much we're allowed to get into. But I just posted a journal entitled screaming which really says it all. All of a sudden my life feels like it's back in crisis mode. And all because of a memory. I hate the way my brain work sometimes. And it's not very much fun having a mother that allowed my father to do what he did to me for all those years. I want so much to get past...