Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
My teacher wantes us to join us a open recovery group, but I do have experice so I hope it will help me as well I grew up around the whole drug seen,from my mother to my father to my grandmother. my father passed away about 10 years ago from an over dose and now me and my mother have a strain relaship its a diffrent kinda realship If Im gonna tell the truth I cant stand her she is drauma, she is a addict, she dont put her kids first, and there has been things said that cant be took back, but when she calls and needs something im there, if she dont call for a couple days I call the cops to do a check on her house, I hunt her down until i find her and see if she is ok, I mean I even called MEXICO CITYS POLICE one time becuse she said she was going to carry drugs over the boarder for a friend and I did not hear from her for 5 days. when we talk on the phone we argue mainly about the past and things that wear said and done, yes people say let the past be the past and live in the future and there will be healing but the things she has said to me from her is unforgivible, unforgetible and somethings that are broken cant be fixed. am I WRONG FOR THIS?
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It's been some time since my last post...sorry. I've been going through a challenging time with the sale of my home, purchase of a condo and my adult asperger son that lives with me. I've had days where I couldn't get out of bed, days where I stayed in my pj's and days where all I managed to do was eat, drink fluids and take care of my Sweet Mia kitty. Sweet Mia came to me from a shelter about...
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If I come to DS and it won't do anything when I click "Login", I go to a post, click and then click "Leave a Reply". Then it will let me log in.Of course, sometimes DS just goes to "Error 504". Then I can't log in.
The most important thing that I read in your post is a tortured love/hate relationship you have with your Mom and your need to care for your Mom's life. Your Mom is ""Blessed to have a daughter like you""" that has not abandoned her due to the painful and challenging relationship.
Words that have been spoken have been under the influence of drugs...not to say that they don't Hurt Like Hell, They may never be forgotten, yet understanding that ''''it's the illness of addiction speaking'''' may help to let go of some of the sting.
I was the 'peace maker' in my family of alcoholics, one brother drug addicted, who got clean and went on to live an amazing life and career...Hard to do, but can be done if there is the desire to help one self.
Be careful of yourself, and your needs... take good care of you!!! Two sick people can not heal one another.
Eating well, drinking water and sleeping to deal with the stressful life of school and dealing with your Mom. My journey towards healing has been a life time, I'm 70 and have been in therapy for most of my life of one sort or another. Al anon was a Huge Help to me to see how I was drawn into the family drama and I learned though lots of practice boundaries....and an ocean of tears.
The Past Is The Past, learn from it to Not Repeat with your own future friends/spouse /children? relationships.
God Bless You, Peace and Healing to You and Yours and To The World At Large <3
We have a choice how we act, react, think, and respond. We can improve our own thinking so that we can handle the family conflict easier. Our thinking change and maturation helps us weather these family conflicts and stress out less.
I found that Al Anon helped me greatly with my ex-husband’s drug and alcohol use. I learned to focus on me and stop pushing or wanting them to change. Because we can only change ourselves. Go on the Al Anon website and find their writings or pamphlets. Find “So you love an Alcoholic” and start to see the bigger picture. Mom has a disease and you can’t fix it or change it. Find a local meeting or online meeting and attend for two months, every week. Try AlAnon even if mom only abuses narcotics- the room is full of family members in the same boat.
Once I realized my expectations and anger were part of the problem, I started releasing myself.
Codependency is explained very well in the book, “The New Codependency” by Beatty. Codependency is also about our emotions and thinking not just focus on they must change for me to be happy. Why we do what we do and all of that. Keep writing on here, keep us posted how you are doing.
The problem with family estrangements is they usually create what is called ambiguous loss. We feel a loss and don’t know what to do with that. So that’s another layer to my answer that may help explain these situations to you.
Good for you for reaching out and opening up!