Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I was staying away from a group of people for a while now. My instincts were warning me off quite a bit. I was nervous and felt like I was being love bombed and manipulated by one or two of the people in the group. I am SO GLAD I stayed away. One of the people that was calling me and being extremely pushy that I set boundaries with it turned out basically had a falling out with my good friend. Overstayed her welcome in my friend's house by like nine months-quit her job after moving cross country to move into her house. Would not contribute or do chores and major problems. I could not believe some of what I was hearing...apparently she s**t on my friend's floor-destroying the tile and grout that they had to tear up. She s**t in the bed, ruined the mattress, and her cat tore up the carpet which they will need to replace. My friend described her as "not a worker". Wow, I just kind of knew she was trying to move into my house which is why she was calling so often. My friend really got screwed. Kind of like I figured, she ended up having to move back to her home state. What a disaster.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
I had a very bad experience last summer that still haunts me because the woman who wanted to use me and promote herself in the support group I was running at the time, came back in June this summer to text me something manipulative. She wrote something like how she was so surprised I wasn't willing to make amends to her. The truth is she owes amends to me. And I finally told her this by text. I said it was her failures that were going to harm the group. But the point is, it has really freaked me out that this woman comes back months later to inflict pain upon me.
I learned from Life Code by Phil McGraw about people who like to inflict pain on innocent or naive people. From all my life events with people who like to inflict pain, I am now much less codependent and much more self-valuing.
There is another several books about emotionally immature people, this is not a theory as it has no research to prove it is truth, but the author's opinions. I read the second or third book, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People and it described the illogicalness, the anger from them, the demands and using us. And I saw that this woman in my life, who I thought had been a friend until my gut instinct was saying "hell no", was written about in this emotionally immature book.
I really appreciate you sharing this story. Sometimes I think it is only me that attracts users who want to inflict pain. That woman has a mental health issue to do all that pooping and inflicting pain on someone who was just nice to her. And her behavior is just way out of line. Your poor friend will probably never trust anyone again. That is just terrible.
It can be hard to stay away from people when on the surface they appear to be making an effort to be friendly and keep in touch. Sometimes our loneliness makes us deny what is happening, and we just want some human connection. Again, good for you for staying strong in this situation.