Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Tonight I am sitting with myself feeling anxious and unable to sleep even though I have a long work day tomorrow. I've come to this place again where the veil is lifted and I realize that I've ignored the red flags with the man I've been seeing. I have this pattern where a man will pursue me, promise me things, "need" me, want me all the time, etc. and I am trying to keep him at bay so I can maintain balance in my life telling him to give things time and slow down while I'm feeling pressurred and anxious around him. But I eventually start to give him more of my time until I feel attached and then feel like the needy one. Tonight is another example......
So now... after this man asking many times for months to reach out to him and he would be tere for me-the 2 times I did which was this week, he said he was busy. It doesn't fit-why offer so many times and ask me to call him). I didn't react Iand ended up calling a friend and then realized that because I feel rejected and hurt by him I see that there were so many red flags that I completely overlooked until now. And I have been playing "nice" and hiding my feelings too. So... I'm sitting with the anxiety and the fear of letting go..................
So now... after this man asking many times for months to reach out to him and he would be tere for me-the 2 times I did which was this week, he said he was busy. It doesn't fit-why offer so many times and ask me to call him). I didn't react Iand ended up calling a friend and then realized that because I feel rejected and hurt by him I see that there were so many red flags that I completely overlooked until now. And I have been playing "nice" and hiding my feelings too. So... I'm sitting with the anxiety and the fear of letting go..................
Its horrible isn't it when we realise we have abandoned ourselves for a man. I kept my last partner at arms length for 5 months whilst i focused on me and ignored 'red flags' which i now see as signs from my higher power telling me this was not good for me.
I didn't listen, i even went to therapy with him to work on his issues and mine but i was already in my own therapy. I walked away from that relationship after a year last december and i am now working the sex and love addicts programme which has been such a loving thing to do for me.
Your doing exactly the right thing by sitting with yourself, you rhigher power is right there with you so you have nothing to fear. God bless, Vee
Exercise also helps me commune with that higher power, so that I'm not so dependent nor easily swayed by any other human being. We do exert powerful influences on each other; we can't help it. But, if we keep the higher power as the ultimate love, we can enjoy each other while keeping the higher power in the picture, and it's beautiful!
If the other isn't in touch with the higher power, and looks to you for everything, thus begins the draining, sapping, co-dependent cycle of sex and human love becoming the higher power. Those sensations and warm feelings are nice, and can be very powerful, but it's important to not let them distract you from the True love that is always there for the taking and loving to in return.
When will I be able to trust myself, and how do I know that I'm not making a mistake again??
Please help me!
Amazon
Trust yourself and don't second guess every little thing or comment made by your new man. It gets you worked up and dwelling on trust, betrayal, abandonment fears.
Love yourself and love will come to you.
I think staying in integrity, talking about feelings and needs on a current basis in a loving, nonjudgemental or shaming way, and listening to the feelings and needs of a partner without feeling a need to "fix" or "change" to please them, is the best way to learn to trust one's self again. Also, making mistakes, owning them, making amends for them and doing something different, builds trust in one's self and in the relationship. Time, spiritual practice and sharing experience, strength and hope in a safe supportive group has made that possible in my life.
learnng to sit with ourselves takes time,more time and more time,i'm sure that is not what you want to hear,each time i end a relationship ,I take time for myself,watch movies and tv,the programs I like,Its so good being in charge of the remote control!!!!,I go places with friends I dont conect with whike I'm in this relationship,and even make new ones.bubble baths with some good music are wonderful.I was told and taught in the rooms and programs to be good to myself,I got my nails doneI'llibuy myself some little something,cause like l'OREAL SAYS "i'M WORTH IT".the point im trying to make is that you deserve to have a wonderful ,fullfilling relationship with your self and others.The terriable thing about co-dep is it steals,it robs its hurtful ,nasty and mean.it takes everything while leaving me with nothing but hurt,anger,and shame.Again ,i see the red flags tooooo,late,again i beleive its going to be differnt.NOT.Support groups are wonderful ,so are meetings,enjoy this time you have for yourself..breathe ,look at nature ,theres so many things to do and see and be.i wish you the best God has to offer.