I'm coming to the realization that I don't have to respond to everything. Not every stimulus deserves a response. I don't have to drop everything because someone is having another crisis-again.  I said no to a social invitation today because I just didn't want to. I felt that inital pang of panic and turmoil and guilt, and then said "F it." This is my boundary. I don't have to tell the person "I don't like you anymore." I can be polite and say no.  I'm no longer interested in or willing to put myself in compromising or dangerous situations because I feel that needy feeling to be accepted and have company for the sake of company. I don't desire that anymore.

When I was going through IOP I had a great therapist who really helped me. When that therapist left the one that replaced her was a complete jackass-so I didn't stay. Neither did the other people who clearly saw the new person was a jackass. I'm just not doing things that compromise me or make me uncomfortable or otherwise just feel off.  I think people with codependent tendencies have unwittingly done this becuase we lived underwater and in chaos as kids, so we turned denial on to the awkward and even grotesque. No more of this.