I went to my friend's birthday because I felt obligated.  Her family has helped me out and has treated me well, including picking me up from the hospital, so I feel somewhat obligated to certain major social events.  I told myself before I went that I would just have to suck up some parts of the event because my friend has grown increasingly unpleasant over time, and she attracts and maintains friendships with other people that don't seem all that nice. One in fact called me the "B Word" one time-just because-in front of a crowd of people, and mocked my speech.  When that happened, I stated that I didn't appreciate it.

I knew this woman was going to be there, so when we got our tickets ahead for the movie, I chose seat 9 because it was on the opposite end of this woman's seat-she chose seat 5.  When I arrived, she apparently had switched her seat with someone else, and sat in seat 8, right next to me of course. She was giving me angry and dirty looks when I got there. I had promised myself to behave and suck it up. And that is exactly what I did. I felt uneasy. 

The movie started, and wow, it was so terrible. None of us knew the movie that my friend picked. Lately she chooses really sordid and upsetting movies, I've started hanging out with her less. I didn't check the trailer and neither did anyone else.  The screenshot made it look like it was going to be fun, and it was so terrible. It was about suicide and alcoholism, and it was so horribly dramatic. A lot of us were very upset.  If I had have known that this was going to be the movie, I would have skipped it and gone to just the dinner.  I left immediately after the movie and drove to the restaurant. My friend called me on the way to the restaurant as though I was trying to escape or something. When I got there, my friend's mom and this other woman got into an altercation over the bill. It was SO inapproprate.  Another person had insisited on sitting outside, and it was so hot still.  

More often lately I feel like these "parties" and hangouts are really just ordeals.  I go because in a sense it's "the right thing." it's never fun. She keeps asking me to join for Thanksgiving as though I'm supposed to be there. I haven't commited yet. 

I talk in therapy about these issues, about how these and other friends have just changed over time to become more negative. We've discussed solutions.  I'm gradually working toward these solutions though I find it somewhat challenging. My therapist is a big help. 

I'm thinking maybe I'm gong to back out of the next get together in a couple of weeks, there is someone coming in from out of town. I just am not sure I want to be there.