my sister died a year ago today. made plans with other sister but cancelled cause I knew that it would be her drunk and crying. they plan her friends thing on the day I work of course. just very annoyed with her. she is just a thorn in my side and I ruminate about we having a relationship that we don't have and don't think we will ever. nothing has changed she digs at me and is so dramatic that it is hard to handle. my sister that died and my other sister did so much to make me feel like not one of them. so she is remarrying her ex now and all is just wonderful he just inherited a bunch of money and now he is wonderful. big celebration wedding and she wants fam from all over to come to this. I know that I am jealous that she now has this great life planned and I am alone with no companion. has this group of people that JUST LOVE HER so much it makes me feel sick with envy and again that I am on the outside of all. they all are like all about BECK just feel messed up and I know that spending time with her makes me depressed. I need to let it all go but really upset and feel so deserted and angry at myself for feeling this way. thanks for any advice.
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