Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I guess this counseling is helping. I have some friends that have been stressing me and I feel like they want too much. They seem to want to always make grandiose plans, never anything simple. I do not get along with one of them.
The phone rang tonight and it was one friend asking me to pitch in for a gift for the birthday of someone I don't particularly care for all times. I thought she was going to ask for five dollars or something-no-she asked me if we could take her on a two week vacation.
No. I said no. I've talked about this a lot in therapy, just feel like people want or need too much. I've figured out they are getting toxic. I will not be dedicating big amounts of time or money to them. I have a hard time spending two hours with this person who they are getting the gift for, let alone a vacation. What was interesting is that I didn't feel this huge anxiety over it. I just didn't do it. They who are taking her on vacation complain about her a lot, so I'm not sure why they are doing this. I'm winding down my involvement here.
When I graduate from college she wants to have "our party." I'm thinking something different. For my graduation I may have MY party, or no party at all. I may just go out of town on my own. If I have a party I have other things in mind.
I didn't feel much if any anxiety when I told her I would not be taking extended vacations with them. Usually I feel stressed. I didn't. When she talked about her addiction and dysfunction it didn't trigger me as much. I think I'm detaching.
Maybe that's progress.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
This ask from your friend seems crazy to me lol. Are they wealthy so don’t understand how hard this would be on most people? If you enjoy the other friends and not the one in particular then it’s a tricky situation. Keep loving yourself and navigating with grace:)
I have another funny story like the vacation "gift." My ex-husband has some serious self-absorption going on. It is always about him. He lacks caring or understanding about other human beings needs. So 15. years ago, he was out of work, laid off, and he had bad cataracts that he didn't take care of while working and when he had health insurance. And he refused to get health insurance while unemployed. So his cataracts got bad (he smokes, he drinks too much, he is diabetic so early cataracts are par for the course). He wore glasses so he was at least getting eye check ups every couple of years and knew he had cataracts growing while employed.
And he must have moaned to some of his friends, proclaimed his victimhood, and they threw him a big fundraiser to raise $10,000 for his cataract surgery. We were divorced and I am sure he told them how I cheated him and stole all his money (I heard stories). I knew he had $200,000 in his 401K retirement account and was likely to get another high paying job sooner or later. He always had a good income as an engineer. So all these friends must have thought he was poor and needed help. I am sure he played victim with them.
Honestly, I laughed at how these people got taken advantage of. Sometimes that is all we can do, we say no and just shake our heads and laugh about it. Good for you to see the forest for the trees.