Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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PAMJIT 06/10/2012

Hi everyone

In Melody's book, she said codependants worry to their hearts content! and yes thats soooooo me!
i seem to obsess and worry, about anything and everything. I am in a healthy relationship, but its me the one that isnt now! I put so many expectations on him, but he is the one that is caring, does so much for me, its my best relationship ever! I worry if we will have enough money and its driving me crazY! I get resentful and angry, and sometimes look to him to be like a provider, father figure! is that wrong? I have had it quite easy financially as my parents have helped me a lot, and i am expecting tht from him, but he is no businessman - maybe i need security!
I feel like im searching for something im never going to find - inner peace? not turmoil?

thegobetween 06/10/2012

hmmmmm....there's actually quite a lot in your post that reminded me of a relationship I had..... I was also quite well finacially looked after by my family and then got a partner who i lived with who didn't have much. I think the trouble starts if you caretake him. I got my partner a company car and then coaxed him to go for a promotion....but the real problems were hiding underneath. As long as you are happy with him, his treatment towards you, his hobbies, pursuits, character, values....money shouldnt be an issue...unless there is debt or debts?

amelah 06/10/2012

Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life" has a chapter on Prosperity that might help: "Our own belief in lack and limitation is the only thing that is limiting us. What belief is limiting you? .... Money is a means of exchange. That's all it is. What would you do and what would you have if you didn't need money?"

In her chapter on Relationships: "Relationships are mirrors of ourselves. What we attract always mirrors either qualities we have or beliefs we have about relationships."

What I'm hearing is that you're fearing abandonment and being left high & dry. But I suspect it's less about money and more about an internal sense of safety.

Catastrophic thinking -- many therapists conduct a therapeutic process called "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" (CBT) that can offer up good exercises to learn how to reduce these thoughts that create these fearful feelings.

((HUGS))

deleted_user 06/12/2012

i worry about things all the time and need to learn i can make it on my own if need be,buy that a lie too,i've been told to meny time i need him and can't live without him or i would not make it at all,i couldn't eat or pay bills or get anywhere or just get to the bathroom withleg and him,he has me right where he wants me,under his thumb

Admiral1cu 06/12/2012

Sorry your parents failed in raiseing/prepairing you for life.
So your willing to use your parents who have already worked, put u through school. I assume that your over age of 17 teen. dunno.
So your willing to wake up when - oh lets say, after 20ty yr relationship & your parents are useing thier money that they earned & invested for in home care &/or facility care.That leaves you where! awaiting on your parents home to be yours w state uility assistance, and possible food assistance & disablity benifits.
Uncertain but maybe a person can get disiblity benifits if they are depressed. as in depression that interfears w working/being able to work as in support themself.Most if not all states - comunitys offer houseing assistance. houseing/rent is based on person income.
I want a sugar daddy too.

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