So, I am going to meet my new therapist in about an hour.  I am just really confused lately because I've been distraught being housebound.  Anyway, I am getting sidetracked.

I don't know why I am getting mentally wrapped up in problems and issues that really aren't mine. But I find myself reacting and getting distraught about things that are going on close to me.  I was talking to a close friend last night and I was pretty upset to learn what is going on over there. As I have talked about before, I've had big concerns about someone we know moving back out here to our home state. I just saw a lot of things that could go potentially wrong with it, just kind of connecting the dots. The person seemed unstable.

Well, to make a long story short, she moved in with my friend, quit her job (she knew that the job was bad a long time ago, there was time to do something about it-during the pandemic)  Lastnight, my friend was telling me that she was going through a lot of stress and anxiety and started meds. She had always been taking care of her mom. Well, this lady moved in with her. She quit her job (they were going to let her go) and not only that has not a dime-no savings, her credit cards all maxed out.  I think it's causing a great deal of stress on my friend, who had to stay home from work for almost two months to take care of her mother. She is getting really frustrated with the friend living there. I can believe it.

Apparently, the woman just doesn't want to work an entry level job. It has to be a particular type of job that she likes, etc. higher up, in management. She doesn't have a college degree, but even though she is unemployed she doesn't want to take a job that could be available to her.

This was the same woman that was calling here repeatedly after I had my accident and became housebound. She was adamant that she become my right-hand person in helping me. I suspected there was another motive and basically told her to keep arms length from me. My inituition was just screaming at me.  I felt vulnerable and really concerned that my situation was the perfect oppotunity for her. I could be paranoid, or I could be right.

In short I'm just very, very angry for my friend. My good friend and I are very close, so I think that when your friend is going through it, it's hard not to feel bad. I think it's extremely unfair.  If I had have known that she was planning to take this person in I might have asked her to think it through. I always thought it was really suspicious that it was being kept so secret that they were moving in together. I think it's very unfair that my friend is not only taking care of her ailing mother, but bankrolling this woman who refuses to get a damn job. She has a massage therapy certificate and does not want to employ that. She doesn't want to work as a caregiver...all this stuff, I had brought up some possibilities, none of them does she want to do.

I feel like it's impacting our group friendship negatively. I feel like when she was calling here putting so much pressure on me after my injury she was creating a problem scenario.  I also feel like our get togethers are dominated by her and her problems, that there is not much room for much else.  And I feel like her problems are affecting me and straining our whole group.

I don't have that many other friends, maybe like one or two, but hearing about all of this stress and chaos is really getting to me.  Sometimes I just wish for fun get togethers that didn't involve taking on the whole life and issues of someone else.  Admittedly I'm not in a good place myself, I'm in pain, I'm housebound and can't go to my job. I guess that I can't judge too much.  I just feel like this whole thing is very isolating, my own personal situation and it's just distressing to learn of all of this. I guess I'm not being much of a friend or very supportive, I just don't know what else to say. I watched since 2020-2021 listening to her over video calls about how this job was falling apart. That is four or five years ago.  Couldn't she have prepared for this knowing this job was winding down? Why wait until now? Why move cross country while you are in the process of losing your job? Why ditch your family and stop talking to them? Maybe they could have helped you.  Like what were you thinking...did you plan the whole thing to use my friend or are you just totally irresponsible???

I feel like I want to stay out of the way, out of the tornado. I don't want to be targeted or used, or asked for money. It scares me.