Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I have been estranged from my father for at least 15 years. My mother passed away 4 years ago. I only see my dad maybe once a year. I have struggled with addiction and my father told me he wouldnt help me or be there for me neither emotionally or financially. He wanted nothing to do with me. Told me in fact he would feel better with me living on the street otherwise he wouldnt be able to sllep at night if I stayed with him while waiting for a bed to open at a rehab. IO am not sure how that sits with anyone but with me its been a downward spiral ever since. Shortly after thinking if my father doesnt care if I do drugs why should I . I began getting in trouble with the law. I am not blaming my dad. All I know is I could never do that to my kid. When I was a kid me and my sisters would sneak out of our room to spy on the adults doing cocaine and drinking. I remember thinking when I was older that there must be nothing wrong with being an addict. I can only write this now because this story is way too long to write at one time
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I'nm exhausted. This doxycycline thing has ripped me apart and I'm eating crackers and water. I can't take (anything) or eat (anything) except saltines and toast and maybe unbuttered watery mashed potatoes. Are we sure the cure isn't worse than the possible disease?!?!And a week to go. ***Fun cures that WERE worse than the disease:ARsenic. Popular against STDs, which just compounded misery...
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There are adult child groups. .I attend alanon and therapy.
I have not found any easy answers to what ails me as far as recovering. Hugs
Parents fall-outs can complicate things. Try not to blame anyone. Just live life for you and what's healthy for YOU.
My father did not have a relationship with me the last 20 yrs of his life till he died. He did not speak to me, we did not see each other. The only time he opened communication with me (a FB message asking for money) was just before he died and I did not respond due to the shock of it. I often feel bad because if I knew he was going to die I would have responded. But really, I don't think it would have changed anything.
All we can do is look forward not backwards. Because we can't change yesterday... but we can change tomorrow.
have like stories. Thats the beauty of the 12
Steps.. We Are not unique or a special snow
Flake. .
Its the way it goes with alcoholism, abuse,
Codependency, narcissism and dysfunction
At least in my family. My mother is more
Dysfunctional and is a narc.
What groups have you tried? One on one
Therapy is a great help too for the bigger
issues.
Many of us suffer from abandonment and
Have some form of c-ptsd from trauma.
My alcoholic father abandoned us after his
Remarriage and he was then dry. My step
mother Hated us until the day she died. I was
told When my father was dying but step mother
Was still alive so i stayed away.
Later on They had a service for both i was not
notified. My 1/2 brother does not like us.
I was alright with all of that. Its the way its
been for years. My father and i had a semi
Relationship but he would and could not
Be a father to us. He was a weak man. He
Was real good to his second family and
Stayed dry. Hugs
needed help, Love and Guidance to fix and
heal myself. My marriage had been in trouble
and we got divorced. I needed alanon to His
needing AA the whole marriage.
The past Is done and there are no redo's.
I do not walk around in the real old past. The
what if's and why's My parents did What they
did. They were screwed up, same as my ex's.
Did rehab help you any? This stuff takes A long
time to move thru in recovery. I Have been in
Alanon and therapy for 6 years now.
Alanon is a spiritual Program of self growth and
it is really about self focusing not Other focusing,
That takes time to get there though. Hugs
You more, Each group is a little Different.
I find i needed to fix me more Not my past.
Many times we keep replaying our Childhood
over and over again in our Romantic relationships
Until we finally fix the codependent within. That
Takes reparenting, retraining and self focusing.
And Its a long hard road and journey. There are
No simple easy or quick solutions, IMHO Hugs
http://www.adultchildren.org