Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hello,
I havent been diagnosed yet but have a scheduled appt with
a therapist next week. Co dependency feels right. I think ive
got a mild case but today it feels as though im bursting with it.
I have exibited alot of the signs over the years. Ive been reflecting
back on my past over the last few months and realize that I have
made alot of my relationships more difficult because of these
impulses , fixations or obsessions.
I am currently married to an alcoholic that had been "dry" till
last tuesday. Shes not a heavy drinker and the last time it was three years since the last incident. To compound the issue we have been
seperated since beginning of may she is with her father getting
him thru his Colon cancer surgery ( went well hes cancer free
now and home recovering) she will be coming home in a week
or so but im so lonely and confused and obsessing over every
contact because she has been struggling with drinking over
the last few months and pulling away becoming more distant.
Ofcourse Ive been making this all about me and "Im so hurt"
She will text me when I text her and will talk to me
when i call but rarely ever calls me on her own. Shes struggling
with her addiction right now too and saying she wants to get
sober.
Im so lonely and over analyzing every conversation and text.
I try and focus on the positives , and God has worked in
our lives with this last flair up.but i feel so lost, Im second
guessing everything and battling every day.
Im a mess and all over the place when it comes to me and her.
Functioning fine as it relates to work and socializing with people
but I dont want to put any presser on her while also trying to not do anything to jeopardize out marriage.
I have no doubt this woman loves and cares for me, but just
hearing it and seeing it in writing is only helping temporarily.
My brain wont stop telling me the other shoe is gonna drop.
Its made me into a person I dont like.
Right now Im manic because I was talking to her an hour ago
on the phone about how its been going with me and some of
the stuff Ive been doing to try and help myself. She had to get off
phone to help her dad now im obsesivly watching the phone and
eating my heart out that she hasnt called me back yet..
Im so confused and lost at the moment...I really need help.
I havent been diagnosed yet but have a scheduled appt with
a therapist next week. Co dependency feels right. I think ive
got a mild case but today it feels as though im bursting with it.
I have exibited alot of the signs over the years. Ive been reflecting
back on my past over the last few months and realize that I have
made alot of my relationships more difficult because of these
impulses , fixations or obsessions.
I am currently married to an alcoholic that had been "dry" till
last tuesday. Shes not a heavy drinker and the last time it was three years since the last incident. To compound the issue we have been
seperated since beginning of may she is with her father getting
him thru his Colon cancer surgery ( went well hes cancer free
now and home recovering) she will be coming home in a week
or so but im so lonely and confused and obsessing over every
contact because she has been struggling with drinking over
the last few months and pulling away becoming more distant.
Ofcourse Ive been making this all about me and "Im so hurt"
She will text me when I text her and will talk to me
when i call but rarely ever calls me on her own. Shes struggling
with her addiction right now too and saying she wants to get
sober.
Im so lonely and over analyzing every conversation and text.
I try and focus on the positives , and God has worked in
our lives with this last flair up.but i feel so lost, Im second
guessing everything and battling every day.
Im a mess and all over the place when it comes to me and her.
Functioning fine as it relates to work and socializing with people
but I dont want to put any presser on her while also trying to not do anything to jeopardize out marriage.
I have no doubt this woman loves and cares for me, but just
hearing it and seeing it in writing is only helping temporarily.
My brain wont stop telling me the other shoe is gonna drop.
Its made me into a person I dont like.
Right now Im manic because I was talking to her an hour ago
on the phone about how its been going with me and some of
the stuff Ive been doing to try and help myself. She had to get off
phone to help her dad now im obsesivly watching the phone and
eating my heart out that she hasnt called me back yet..
Im so confused and lost at the moment...I really need help.
tip top shape with a banner and balloons for her arrival. She loved
all that , Thats what she called to tell me, then she says im not gonna
lie im drinking a bud light right now............ apparently leaving her
Dad after 80 days was harder than she thought. I didnt fly off
the handle but im worried about whats waiting on me at home
now..... she says its only one but ive heard that before and spent the rest of the evening arguing with her about getting more...I sure hope that doesnt happen. I dont know what to say to her about the fact that she had that one , i know she said she cried for 2 of the 3 hour drive after leaving her dad....but its not ok for her to drink ... i guess ill find out in a short while.... hoping and praying for the best.
Then she asked about her beer i asked her after everything else are you sure you want to do that . she said om going to celebrate being home and your either coming with me or im going alone... I felt like
i had no choice but to go along to make sure she was safe. as we were out she started saying that this was all for me because of everything i had taken care of while she was away and all that i had done for her. she could tell i wasnt happy and asked what i thought. I told her that i think this is all manipulation to make it look like your trying to make me have a good time but its really about you getting to drink. she swore it wasnt , im not falling for it. I dont drink to have a good time and all i was looking forward to was having her home and spending some quality couple time. dinner shopping walk ect... she toned it down and we got home ... in the hight of things she was trying to make it an all weekend affair but saw i wasnt going for it so after friday noght she has stopped talking about going out and instead we have been hanging out together dinner lunch breakfast with friends shopping for stuff for th house and talking to each other.. friday night i was in agony and dreadding the fallout that comes from this type of thing ... disaster seems to have been avoided though. we are due to have our chat about how things have been going but aggreed not to do it this weekend in order to focus on her and I and the fact that shes home..... im back on point it seems with helping her curb and avoid her drinking and alot of the whats she doing worrying is gone now that shes home ... im really unsure of the best way to have this discussion we talk about my therapy and things im doing but nothing yet about her......
Now that she's back, you've taken on the codependent task of being her keeper of sobriety.
She wasn't crying over her father; she was already tipsy and she was crying over the fact that her drinking would be curtailed with you...
I suggest you really dig into Al-Anon and your codependency, or this will be your lot in life. And keep in mind that alcoholism is a progressive disease, so it only gets worse.
I'm sorry to be negative, but you need to be fully aware of the situation...
That's no life...
Shes going to have to do that for herself. I also told i am calling out bull when i see it and wont be manipulated any more. I love her and myself and i have to do whats best for both of us.