Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
So today my Project Manager wrote me and my boss an email praising me for a job well done on a project I managed back in Jan/Feb.....I was literally jumping out of my skin with glee to hear from him. And no less getting praised for a job well done was fabulous.
It was weird, prior to the email I had been thinking about him this morning........I wanted to chat with him so badly......I still have a crush that I thought had gone away the last time I saw him....but is still absolutely there.
How do I get rid of feelings for someone..... I mean seriously that is so unfair. I know that there is nothing I can do about it all and it would be considered "inappropriate" if I acted on it, but thankfully I have never acted on it so I have that in my favor....but the feelings of butterflies and excitement just to talk to him are so overwhelming....
Deli I know that you have said it is the need for a "fix of drama" but honestly it has been a couple months since I even thought about the guy, then he pops into my head and then an email comes thru and I am beyond myself with excitement....it all is too weird and "serendipity-ish".
I just wish I knew why my feelings get so activated by him....he isn't a terrible guy, in fact if I was to model what kind of guy I need as a partner in my life he fits the bill....It just sucks that he lives on the East Coast and I live on the West Coast.....well and of course that we work together!
Man....now I am going to be daydreaming all day about him.....obsess much?? Uggh. Crush's hurt/feel so good simultaneously.....*sigh* back to work......
In the meanwhile I guess my question is, is it really co-dependent to crush on a guy you work with? Is this a result of my co-dependency? Like what gives...why can't I fully see what is wrong in this situation.....
It was weird, prior to the email I had been thinking about him this morning........I wanted to chat with him so badly......I still have a crush that I thought had gone away the last time I saw him....but is still absolutely there.
How do I get rid of feelings for someone..... I mean seriously that is so unfair. I know that there is nothing I can do about it all and it would be considered "inappropriate" if I acted on it, but thankfully I have never acted on it so I have that in my favor....but the feelings of butterflies and excitement just to talk to him are so overwhelming....
Deli I know that you have said it is the need for a "fix of drama" but honestly it has been a couple months since I even thought about the guy, then he pops into my head and then an email comes thru and I am beyond myself with excitement....it all is too weird and "serendipity-ish".
I just wish I knew why my feelings get so activated by him....he isn't a terrible guy, in fact if I was to model what kind of guy I need as a partner in my life he fits the bill....It just sucks that he lives on the East Coast and I live on the West Coast.....well and of course that we work together!
Man....now I am going to be daydreaming all day about him.....obsess much?? Uggh. Crush's hurt/feel so good simultaneously.....*sigh* back to work......
In the meanwhile I guess my question is, is it really co-dependent to crush on a guy you work with? Is this a result of my co-dependency? Like what gives...why can't I fully see what is wrong in this situation.....
@ Deli...you better stop encouraging my wandering mind.......it would be perfect for me right now, in this moment of my life, to have a "weekend" romance....I just started school on top of all of the traveling/work/family and friend commitments so my life is a bit complex to get all time consumed with a relationship...oh goddddddd my brain is going to go wild now on the "what if" train. Choo Choo!!
PS-I forgot to mention that yes this is the same guy I had a crush on before.....
You know what you need to do then...as little contact as possible (which is hard, I know, especially if he contacts you about work stuff again), and maybe you need to practice a little more self-care. It sounds like your life is pretty stressful right now. Maybe you are sort of looking for some relief and fantasizing about him is just the ticket.
To follow-up about us NOT being codependent with any other person, then even if we break up with the other person we are still codependent, and even if the abuser dies and cremated then the codependency still stays inside of our self.
What we now do with other people is we act codependent and we violate boundaries and fail to express feelings correctly and so we DYSFUNCTION until we treat and heal the codependency in our self.
In your comment #5 you appear to understand that very well, so I see you as doing well, so I just think that we need to make it clear that the codependency is completely inside of our self.
I even found that the better and healthier that I keep getting then the abusers all start to avoid me - just like magic.
Cheers.