I'm *trying* to date again.  I made a couple of online accounts.  I haven't had a date or a relationship for a while, but I'm learning what are my pet peeves and what are probably places where I need boundaries.  It seems like a lot of people (in this case I'm a female meeting men) like to text a lot and late at night.  The online dynamic seems different than the IRL dynamic. Online strikes me as fastpaced and somewhat impersonal. I already had one potential relationsnip blow right up becuase I wasn't answering 10PM texts.  It isn't even personal-I just don't like it when people text me at bedtime-anyone-not just people I'm dating  He cancelled our date because I was out with friends and didn't answer his late night text and was very angry.  It was scary. So scary that I deleted the app.  I'm on another app now, and it seems to be the same thing. Admittedly I was online late intially, so maybe it gives the impression that I'm open to late texting.  I had told this guy at 8pm after talking for an hour to have a good night and that I was off to the gym I had an interview in the morning. I thought this was a pretty clear indication I was done for the day. He texted me later at the gym asking me if I was actually going to bed...I'm like yes...he then started texting me during my interview the next day. It ruined the attraction. That was the end of that.

The current guy that I am taking to is doing the same thing. I had taken a break from the app after the last incident, and I saw this guy's message. I wrote to him on Thursday that I would be going out of town over the weekend, but that we could chat when I got back-I thought that was pretty clear. I don't want to spend my vacation on my cellphone.  I did check my messages on the app when i got back to the hotel lastnight and we had about 45 mins to chat.  He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. I said I was heading to dinner.  Immediately texts started coming in-couldn't he wait until my vacation was over?  He asked how was my dinner, I thought it was pushy.  This is 9:00.  I sait it was find and that I'm winding down now-(a.k.a I"m going to bed, hint).  At 10:00 PM he started the texts again...I didn't answer this time. One of my biggest pet peeves when people text/call after 9PM. Typically I"m drifting off and the text wakes me back up.  I thought it was common sense not to do this.  Maybe it's just a me thing-I don't know-maybe others are alright with it.  It's the third time it's happened online. I don't have this experience typically with people I date IRL. It just strikes me as a lack of boundaries and seems entitled.  I haven't even met any of these people yet.  Any opinions?  I decided not to answer this guy until I'm done with my vacation, I guess if he can't understand that then maybe we shouldn't be dating.

I suppoed I can understand what it feels like to have an unanswered text.  On the other hand I'm personally aware of things like not texting late or when I know someone is occupied with something.  That's just me.