I'm still working on boundaries.  I was at my therapist today and we had a lot to talk about. One small, annoying thing happened earlier today.  I had so much to go over with her I didn't even get to bring it up-it really wasn't a priority though.

There are some people that I've known for a very long time, and they seem to have a lot of creepy, predatory men that have hung out there over the years.  One got so bad that he almost assaulted a woman in the house and he was asked not to come back.  He used to hang over me and call me all the time. It was really scary, especially when he was asking me to come over to his house and do naked massages!!! OMG!!

There is another man there who is my dad's age who has been constantly flirting and showing interest at me for over a decade. In fact it's like twelve years now.  Several years back, he picked me up from behind and was over hugging me way too much, it was intimidating.  He was super forceful about the fact that he. was. interested.  I said then that I wasn't. People continued to force the issue and say that he joined a club I was in just because I happened to be in it.

Over the years he's continued to express, again and again, his attraction to me. It's so old. I have talked about people that I'm dating, and he insists that they need to "come over and meet the competition!" (Him).  He seems to get aggravated when I am dating other people. People have remarked that he is possessive and that he stands over me.

This year I have made decisions that I don't want to deal with the same garbage year after year. He has a habit of commenting on literally every single thing I post on facebook, and even other webpages that I am on. I don't know how he finds me on the other webpages. It blows me away. I restrict my audience so he can't see everything I am doing.

This New Year's Eve (he is out of state now), he messaged me about midnight to say Happy New Year. Not a big deal normally, but because he seems to be scouring my social media and comments on my every move, it just felt intrusive, like he had to communicate with me at an "important moment" because he was away from me. He seems to think we have this special connection.  I always answer to be polite. This time I didn't because I really get the feeling that he would like to gauge whether I am with someone else.  So I left the message there, I'm just not going to continue to engage. It's overwhelming. I forgot about it.

Today, I open up my phone and see a message: He unsent the message. For some reason this really put me off and got under my skin way more than the message itself. The reason being that obviously I was expected to drop everything and respond like I always do, so that he can know where I am and who I am with. If it was just really a Happy New Year, he would have left it there.  No "big obligation" to be forced to engage with him. Obviously he is really mad that out of his endless messages and comments I didn't respond to just this one. This tells me maybe I'm not bowing to his agenda just like he wants, so he's going to act like an ass and unsend the greeting.

It's super petty and stupid but that one act really communicated a lot to me. It tells me he's childish, overbearing and more controlling than I thought, at least that is what it looks like. It really made a bad impression on me and it was a little insulting. I'm not obligated to be permanently and endlessly available and single, as I think that's the expectation.