Cocaine Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Cocaine addiction is the excessive intake of cocaine, and can result in physiological damage, lethargy, depression, or a potentially fatal overdose. Though the immediate craving to do more cocaine is strong and very common, this feeling usually subsides in most users within an hour. This craving can, as it has in many users, develop rather quickly into an intense...
I love this man very much, I want nothing more than to help him and be with him. We are both codependant as we were both married for 12 - 15 yrs and met eachother shortly after our seperation from our spouses. Bot are afraid to be alone it seems. Because of what we have been through the last 2.5 years with his drug addiction and my depression its like we began sitting around doing absolutely nothing. He is injured, not working and i work full time. When I am at work i would always worry that he woould be gone before I got home. Well one day finally game and he was on a binge, this is not the first time. He binges every few months looses everything he has managed to rebuild. Then when scared and broke he puts himself in the phsych ward to clean himself up. He has gone into a rehab centre in tha past but did not complete the program for others reasons that were out of his control. We tried to keep open communication but we failed and both spiralled down into a depression and new what was coiming but couldn't or weren't trying hard enough to fix it I guess. He is in the hospital now don't know where he is going aafter, can't come home as he has made it unsafe to be in my part of the city. Do dealers really kill people or hurt people over bad debts? I want to have a life with him but am wondering if I am just consumed by him and that we are just wasting our time. He wants to be with me and says he loves me but his addiction is strong when he gets depressed. He says that I will never understand and that I shouldn't try? I can'\t stop thinking about him he consumes my mind. Don't know what to do?
I would suggest that you get some independant help. you may be codependant, but on a crack head? how the hell can you be codependent on a crack head? that sounds out of this world. my harshness about what appears to me to be a sad state of affairs is because the disease of addiction coupled with mental illness makes for a terrible combination. Why are you depressed may I ask, and if you were in a relationship for 12/15 years was your ex husband an addict?
I pray to God that you do not have any children, because the world has enough messed up children.
the best of luck to you, but you need independent help.
connecticut
Connecicut Im not sure if you understand what codependency is? And yes its very true addiction is no joke it kills people lives. I read your post but did not agree with the things you had to say, you don't come accross as all that educated on the subject. It seems your word tell em you've never experienced addiction or the addiction of a loved one? I do have 3 beautiful children and he has 3 of his own. Yes my ex has an alcohol addiction and i stood by his side and stll stand by him after 5 years of seperation. Life and love is not a light switch you cant switch on and off or turn and run when things get tuff. I do realize that I need independent help and i am seeking it through alanon and reading. Looking into some counseling too!
Lisa I like and agree with your expression ..when u are in an addicts life u are in the passenger seat too but the drugs are doing the driving and u will get run over ... My boyfriend has never asked ar taken money from me for his addiction, everyhing he blowss is his, he is a binger so it seems he just gets cleaned up and starts climbing back out of the mess he creates from a binge and then he will get depressed about something and feeling like he's loosing everything and then just throws in the towel and gives up. When he binges he goes hard and just wants the drugs to kill him and then when he's broke and realizes it didn't kill him and he hates what he has done he will seek help, usually its cause he has used so much and in a paranoid state of mind. This last time he got into quite a mess with some people and I'm not sure how safe he is to even walk down the street anymore. I think he wants to come home when he's out of detox but I don't know if thats healthy for him or me. He will usually stay clean for approximately 3 months now. Its like in his mind he's done now but three months down the road something will happen and trigger him and he's gone again. It seems each time he can go longer between binges, at one point it was like he cycled with the moon, or like a female gets her period, as he could only go 28 to 30 days between binges. He says he hates it when he's out there and the more he uses the more he hates himself and he keeps on going to turn off the feelings. I love him but don't know what is right for either of us.....
Your b/f robs you, and the children when he goes binging. if you are so emotionally attached to this man, who will help your children? maybe some tough love will help you help him, remove yourself, and your children. and maybe you can not help him! Maybe this is a job for God, do you know him?
You appear to be in a make believe land, and the addict is placed in reality, a very ugly reality. He will get you, and the children hurt if he is playing Russian Roulette with the drug dealers.
They do not care about you, your children, or your b/f. they want their money! period the end. your b/f can not hide out in a treatment facility for long.
I hope for the sake of your children that you remove them from this insane relationship, because if you do not they with grow up and have awful behaviors, or PTSD. the world has enough of that already. become a part of the solution for your children.
What you are doing is enabling him to continue with his addiction, you are protecting him from hitting rock bottom so he will never change (i done the same with my ex) nothing will change unless you change, he knows you will stand by him so he has no reason to stop! My ex did not take my money or steel from me, i made him go before he got to that stage but i am still dealing with the aftermath of his addiction almost a year on. He has now found a better enabler than me, she pays his mortgage! they dont give a toss who they drag into their addiction, he cant live without you because you aid his addiction.
If you remain in this relationship his addiction will progress & he will take you down with him. You need to step back & let him face the consequences of his addiction otherwise both your lives will spiral out of control. best wishes.
Louise
My ex is ruthless & so are his sidekicks.
He would think nothing of burning your house down with your children in it, he has bitten off peoples ears, noses & walked in peoples houses who owe him drug money & taken everything they own.
Believe me drug dealers have no compassion what so ever!
Thank you!
You will benefit from attending AA/AN meetings, also find a therapist, you are dealing with too much to handle this alone!