Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Hi, Chronic pain group. It is me again looking for your words of encouragement and experience.
My parents are in their 80's and are very needy at this point. They raised my children when my wife and I were working trying to make ends meet. They gave unselfishly more than i could ever explain. I just can't imagine any parent doing more. Life for my sister and I have had some very serious bumps causing incredible worry for my parents. I do believe that by me being chronically injured and not being perfectly stable has caused my mother to become very ill.
Today i drove my mother to the doctor because she is looking very worn and is losing weight quickly. I can only skim on all the details because it is complicated. Anyways, we drove to the app in prime traffic time and i could feel the pain in my body escalating as we sat there in the grid lock of traffic. By the time we got to the doctors I don't know who looked worse.We had a successful appointment in many respects but then it was time for the drive home. To cut a long story a little shorter I was in the car for pretty much 2 hours. I got home and I was in incredible pain. I felt guilty to my wife whom I was supposed to have a special date with ( catch my drift ) and more guilty to my parents who I felt that all I did was create more worry for. I want to help the people that gave everything to me and my family but I just know that I am suffering as i do it. My sister is working hard to hold onto her job so she is not an option. The same applies to my wife and brother in law. Basically I am the go to guy.
There really aren't any answers to this because it is a much larger story than I can paint in this post. I guess all I'm trying to say is I'm going through hell trying to keep my kids afloat and my parents as well. I want to do it so much but it is almost impossible for me to keep things from sinking. The stresses of my own life mixed with theirs is very difficult. Thanks for hearing me out. Maybe I just needed to vent.
My parents are in their 80's and are very needy at this point. They raised my children when my wife and I were working trying to make ends meet. They gave unselfishly more than i could ever explain. I just can't imagine any parent doing more. Life for my sister and I have had some very serious bumps causing incredible worry for my parents. I do believe that by me being chronically injured and not being perfectly stable has caused my mother to become very ill.
Today i drove my mother to the doctor because she is looking very worn and is losing weight quickly. I can only skim on all the details because it is complicated. Anyways, we drove to the app in prime traffic time and i could feel the pain in my body escalating as we sat there in the grid lock of traffic. By the time we got to the doctors I don't know who looked worse.We had a successful appointment in many respects but then it was time for the drive home. To cut a long story a little shorter I was in the car for pretty much 2 hours. I got home and I was in incredible pain. I felt guilty to my wife whom I was supposed to have a special date with ( catch my drift ) and more guilty to my parents who I felt that all I did was create more worry for. I want to help the people that gave everything to me and my family but I just know that I am suffering as i do it. My sister is working hard to hold onto her job so she is not an option. The same applies to my wife and brother in law. Basically I am the go to guy.
There really aren't any answers to this because it is a much larger story than I can paint in this post. I guess all I'm trying to say is I'm going through hell trying to keep my kids afloat and my parents as well. I want to do it so much but it is almost impossible for me to keep things from sinking. The stresses of my own life mixed with theirs is very difficult. Thanks for hearing me out. Maybe I just needed to vent.
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
it's ok to vent.
Sometimes family will drive us crazy, much as we love them.
It sounds like you are going above and beyond to be a great child, parent, spouse, overall person, etc. while in fact you could really use someone doing that for you instead! I completely and totally relate to the feeling of wanting to give back to your parents for being so amazing and supportive while still taking care you your "normal responsibilities" within your immediate family and it's so hard not to feel completely worn thin and stressed so do not feel bad about that at all! It certainly sounds like you and your family are very close with one another and when things kind of culminate the way they are for you right now, one thing that helps me sometimes is when I try to (as articulately as I can...which isn't always as articulate as emotional) sit down and talk to my parents or husband about what's really going on in terms of what I'm thinking and feeling in effort to create better understanding between everyone. I'm not at all implying that in your situation, your actions and efforts are coming across and anything but positive, loving, and with good intention...I am just speaking in reference to when I get to those points where I begin struggling more and feeling so overloaded that it is a constant stressor and (unfortunately I usually do t do a great job being aware of how "bad" it's gotten and I typically end up having a mini emotional breakdown -- which always leads to the open dialogue about where all the emotion and upset is coming from) every time I openly and honestly communicate with them it truly helps us to kind of get a fresh start with things and regroup to be able to work better together again as a unit. It's so easy to get caught up in everyday things that end up accumulating without us even realizing how much we are struggling until it gets to a boiling point, and regardless whether I've hit the actual overflow or I'm ready to at any moment, I have never experienced anything but positive overall results from opening up and truly being 100% honest about where I'm coming from and what I'm feeling.
I totally understand that communicating like this isn't for everyone, and maybe not for every family, but whether it's just the fact that my brain and body finally get to release all the pent up stress and emotions (hopefully in a kind and productive way!) I have always felt better after opening up -- even though it's really hard sometimes.
I'm so sorry you're going through all this right now but regardless what you do, I hope you feel better soon!!!