Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Having had non-stop chronic pain for 4 years now, I can certainly sympathize with anyone who has pain. But it seems like just about everyone in the DS pain groups talks about having a spouse, which I would think would make life a bit easier even while having pain. I am single and living with, I would say, pretty severe neuropathic pain (severe enough to be on methadone and severe enough where I feel nauseous from the pain level most of the time). Even with this great community and having people who can relate to having pain, I still feel alone in that I have to somehow deal with this without help. I don't have someone who can help pay the bills while I am sick. How am I supposed to do this? How can I go on living like this? Is there anyone else here who is also single and somehow managing?
I am sometimes envious of the coupled. I dream of being able to ask a person to bring me a ginger ale, so I don't have to endure the pain of getting it myself. Small thing, but somehow dreamy.
There are so many variables in a marriage with children. I can barely take care of myself and require help from others at times. I actually don't want a "relationship." I take for granted that I have the ability to do as I do, with no one expecting much from me.
Don't get me wrong. I can get very lonely. I have cried from loneliness. I am so thankful for this CP group because I know I am not alone.
I'm rambling again. Lisa, I wish you much joy and happiness in this life. We don't have to be married to receive love. The universe takes care of the details.
Thank you all for your kind posts. It is very hard not having a husband. I do have a friend who is many times there for me (although he lives in a different state now). I will press on with the online dating. It is hard, though, when I have pain. And it is always embarrassing when I have to bring my seat cushion on my first date and they ask me why I have it.
I'm disabled now after a 2 yr wait for SSDI hearing. I use a cane, Walker and wheelchair to get around. I have to drive on drugs to get groceries, dr. appts. for me and dad. I pick up my grandaughter (5) every thursday pain or not. It's constant 24/7 no hope of a cure or remission. I don't have a boyfriend or anybody to help me. It's hard, it horrible and no it's not fair at all. But I guess life goes on. I'm at least getting housekeeper soon. I can't stand a dirty house.
Best wishes if you ever want to talk holler anytime.
When do we all get to design and build a great CP'er mansion where we can all be together with the just right facilities and perfect understanding naighboors who know when to come and when to leave us alone and what to ignore because we are in pain?????
It is always greener on the other side of the wall, isn't it???
I am sorry you have so much pain, it is the theme we all share unfortunately.
It is very difficult to be the only person you have to lean on for support and financial help is you. I was that way for a long period of time.
I am a single mom of two teenagers, I have been for most of their lives. When my intermittant pain went to CP, I was working a white collar job and trying to raise my kids--one of whom is disabled. My daughter was going through diagnostics, hospitalizations, therapies and all the rest of it.
I had to work to keep my insurance for her, I never took time for myself. I missed a lot of work for her too--which helped me though as I was able to rest more. I still had to raise my son and be as normal for him as possible between myself and his sister. It was so hard.
As my CP progressed and I realized I would not be able to continue to do it, I ended up in different circumstances. I now live with my mom.
We moved in together in April of 2010, I quit my employment in June of 2010. My daughter finally won her SSI in October of 2010 and she received her first payment in December. I am currently fighting for my own social security and I am currently working through an attorney for the appeals process of my disability.
I sometimes wish I had a spouse, someone to share my innermost thoughts and worries with. Someone who would be my partner not only through the hard times but, also to share my "normal" times with too. It would also be wonderful for my children to have someone they can trust and depend on. As my issues have cemented -- their worry has increased.
I know that it would be a lot of work too and, I know that it is not always peachy. I don't know that I would have the strength and ability to expend anymore energy toward another person. I also would no want to worry another person or have them feel helpless due to my situation.
As many have said on here... it is a win/win lose/lose situation. Either way, regardless of a partner or not, I am determined to live as happy as possible and be as "normal" as possible for myself and my family.
In support and HUGS to you!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!
i don't get to have mani/pedis any more. i was a SW, so i was used to not making a huge salary and i enjoy being frugal. i have a nice wardrobe which is primarily from thrift stores. i do go to the food bank every few months and share what i don't need/or use. i have cable and nice furniture, also second hand. when my body is up for it, i cook and freeze or re-purpose. i enjoy crafting, too. i'd love to have a few hundred extra each month and in savings, but i'll get there. some months are harder than others and pretty tight, but it's doable. good luck!