Even though I'm not single!!! You never have to suffer alone!!!! I've been in Chronic pain since 1988 when I was hit bu a tractor trailer!! Even though I'm married sometimes I feel that I'm the lonliest person on Earth that's why I'm here!!! I don;t know where you live but look for a local support group a Grief/Loss group, when you are in constant pain you lose a part of yourself, and theycan probably hep with bills/food etc!!!
Peace Tim

Hi,
Sometimes it is good and sometimes it is just added work, having a husband adds on alot more work and more stress at times so be careful for what you ask for. I am not saying my hubby is bad or anything and I would not have it any other way I am just saying being married comes with it's own challenges.

Can you get a room mate or pick up some extra cash doing something out of the home line like online selling of something. I would think out of the box and see if there is something you can do that would lift the financial burden a bit

You can also find a hubby if you are looking for a companion for things start dating you will never find a husband by not looking and not dating. Do you date often or have someone who you may consider marriage material

I am single and deal with the challenges financially on my own. Granted I live with my parents right now, but the support from them is off and on. I know exactly how you feel, wanting to have someone you can depend on to help you through the rough times. It gets very lonely at times. Even though I live with my parents, I am in my room most of the time. I have it set up kinda like a small efficiency without the mini fridge and hot plate. It is my comfort zone. I will be looking for my own place to live soon, because I can't tolerate certain things here for much longer. But I understand what you are going through!

Gentle hugs,
Jenna

I am single and have been for as long as I had debilitating chronic pain...it's actually much less work, like manny said, for me and more peaceful. It is very hard too as you said having no one else you can depend on for anything...it's quite a scary weight with the bills and even trying to get out for food and stuff...I had to take in a parent who also needed help financially and together we are making it. As for the future, I.m hoping to live in a house with room mates so that we can all share the burdens together. Hope you can find a solution that works for you.

Hi Lisa,
I am single and have been pretty well all my life other than a few short term relationships. I know how you feel with respect to feeling alone with no help. It can get very distressing. I do envy people who have partners if only for the physical help they get to do those things that are so difficult for me.

But then, I hear of how the spouse is unsupportive or cannot understand the problem and also how difficult it is to keep up a happy facade when you feel so lousy. And then, I am glad I live alone because I can just let loose and not worry how my feelings affect another person. It would be really hard for me to live with someone the way I feel most days. So I appreciate my solitude.

I guess it comes and goes. I want a partner, I don't want a partner. In a way, I believe that we get what we need. Because when it comes down to the crunch, there is always a neighbour or friend who can help me out when I really can't deal with the physical stuff.

It takes time but I think I am now trusting life more. If it were better for me to have a partner, I think then, he will show up.

I hope you find a way to accept this. It's hard but fighting it is harder.
Hugs,
Ama

i'm happily divorced with a cat. it's better to be alone than be emotionally abused by someone who doesn't understand pain.

i feel very happy for those in our group who do have a supportive spouse. that takes a special person.

i get out some to meet people being in a new city, but it takes time. i love this group and depend on it a lot. i do have some family here who help me with shopping and getting my apt together. i take the bus which isn't the easiest, but it's a way to get out.

good luck. it's possible. hugs!!!

Hi Everyone,

I too am single and have been for some time after my divorce from a 25 year marriage. My Multiple Sclerosis varies greatly depending on each Exacerbation. There are times when being single works quite well and I actually enjoy the independence and freedom to do whatever I want to do. When I am well enough I am active and enlyoy outdoor recreation. But that has not happened fir me for a long time now.

When I am incapacitated with my MS it is difficult. Living alone suddenly becomes not a great option. But I am hooking up with the Council on Aging and they are going to provide me a caregiver. They will send in a person to help with tasks that I no longer can manage myself. I'm so grateful for this service and it make living at home by myself doable.

Hugs, Cathy

Hi there I just checked out this group today. I am a member of the rheumatoid arthritis group but am in pain pretty much all day every day. I too am single got divorced 10 years ago. I have had RA for 20 years. Being single does suck at times but sometimes I really prefer it. I can rest and lay on the couch all weekend and not feel guilty. I do have friends I know I can call to drop off that much needed diet coke! I know people really do have supportive spouses but I do prefer to be alone when im sick. Please don't feel alone being in the RA support group has helped me a ton. Do u have animals? I have 2 cats that keep me company and love snuggling with me.
Sending u hugs diet coke and a pint of ice cream!!!
xoxo mustlovecats

I'm with Manny. I love my hubby but having one does increase other stresses. I wouldn't undo my family, but sometimes I wish I was alone, and able to sleep when I wanted w/o interruption, no worries about another person, etc. I'm not saying it's all bad, but you'd be facing an all new set of problems.

That said, if you want a hubby, have you thought about online dating? I have 2 friends, one single, one divorced, who found hubbies recently that way.

Good Luck!

Hi Yes I'm a solitary CP'er as well, did the relationship / married thing for 12 years... I started getting sicker and needed that time out to get my head around things.... Slowed my poor ex wife up to much.... We are best friends still, love her dearly but.... find it easier to be on my own... with my dear ol'e cat......
Hope you can find someone Lisaloo, there will be an awesome individual to love and inspire you... just have to find em.... until then you have an awesome DS family.....

There is no one more alone than one who is alone in a crowd!

That is me, alone in a crown who expects me to clean and cook and take care of their messes. Not one of them cares that I feel faint from pain.

I'd love one day where no one eats all the food leaving me nothing.
To wash only my few clothings in one load.
Fill one or two bags at the grocery store and be all done.

I still have to carry all of it into the house alone.
I stiall have to put it all away, and put it away, and put it away.

I guess it is 50/50 isn't it.

It's so hard in life to remember that the grass is not always greener. When I was alone (not in pain) I thought the best thing would be to have a spouse. And now, with a spouse, I sometimes think it would be easier without. So, there are pros and cons to each and we find a way to work with what we have.
I happen to be one of those that met the spouse online dating and we are together 8 years now. There are days when I think I want to be alone because there would be less guilt and less expectations, but on the other hand there would be less help and noone to be there to get that diet coke, lol.
Have you thought about online dating or a roommate?

Yeah, I do online dating, but haven't found anyone yet. But, in my case, I don't think it will be easy to find someone since I doubt I will be able to help make an income. I have gone back to school, partially because I get to live off of student loan money for now.

There may be some downsides to having a spouse as some have mentioned, but at least there is someone there to support those who can't work. I don't know how I would be able to live alone with just $600/month disability. I'm barely making it on $1600/month student loan a month. Is there anyone who is single and making it on disability pay?

Hi LisaLoo2,

I imagine that being single is tough. I am married. I have been in pain for just the last 15 months. But, my pain and illness have shut our life down. Severe neuro pain, like you describe.

One of the greatest sources of "pain" I have is seeing the impact my illness has had on my husband, on his career, on his overall life. I try to encourage him to continue to live as fully as he can, even though my lmitations are great. I havetried to resume many of my household responsibilities, but the fact is, he has to do a lot more than he did before I became ill.

So while having a partner is a great source of comfort, I have to deal emotionally every day with the fact that my illness impacts my husband greatly. This makes me very sad.

So, illness and pain are tough to deal with, either way, alone or with a partner. Hopefully family and friends can step forward to help fill the gaps for you. Emotionally, we are all here for you.

Hugs and prayers,
Cindy

Honestly, the only way I saw people live on the SSI income is to have subsided housing. Have you looked into this, such as section housing or some apartments have low income sliding scales. There are waiting lists, but they way I see it is if you have to wait 6 months to 3 years..you will likely be struggling later too. And if you don't need it when your name comes up then you can decline.
And food stamps along with Medicaid. That's the only way I've seen it done. Otherwise, you can live with a roommate or family. I wish there were other answers, but there are not. Do you have a work history?