Cherry, you sound like me in your description of pain. Gosh, I thought I was reading my own post. Buldging discs, nerve pain, arthritus, it is just the worst pain. Last 2 days I have been suffering something awful. Using heat,cold and meds., nothing hardly touches the pain, uuuggggggggggg!!!! Also, Fibro. The people here are great and really do care. They have made a difference in my life. Knowing that your "not alone" really makes a huge difference. There is so much to learn from one another and isn't this what the good Lord told us to do, "to share one anothers' burdens?" Please feel free to send me a message and lets get to know one another??? May the peace/love of the Lord strengthen you and also may you find the much needed comfort in the understanding/support of this group. nrthngl4ever

I've been told that abuse and traumas in life can manifest in pain if you carry it all inside. Apparently I have quite a 'buildup'. As I age, I'm adding more to the load of pain. I can barely turn my head today.

I've had three marriages and many relationships, but I always end up pushing them from my life. Now I'm in no shape to even consider allowing anyone in. Besides, who would want someone whose life is ruled by the pain level of the day?

I live in constant fear about my future which is why I've been trying to distribute precious belongings to my grown sons.

Hi Cherry, Im so sorry to hear your in so much pain....but dont give up! You have the support of plenty of people who can understand what your going through and were all here to support each other.

It seems youve had a rough time...maybe if you could, try to not forget what has happened, but accept what has happened and try to concentrate on today. Maybe try giving yourself small targets, and concentrate on doing things you enjoy, for example, when Im not in too much pain I enjoy playing piano and it gives me a buzz Ive accomplished something.

Try and focus on now, put yourself as top priority. We are all here to listen and to help anytime from all around the world. Let us know your worries and troubles, I always feel someone to talk to makes you feel a hell of a lot better as a start!

I know its hard and I know your down, but lets all focus on making you just feel better in yourself and then you can concentrate on pain management etc

Good luck and were all here for you,
take care and do thing you enjoy
x

Cherry...I totally relate when you talk about your increased pain whether related! Oh it's so miserable the deep aching pain. I'm so glad you found this board, it's so much better than most of the 'support' boards out there. I pray you get a much needed break in your pain, it certainly seems your due!

Gentle hugs!
Deb

I appreciate all the 'gentle' hugs sent to me. More evidence of people who understand that even a hug can cause pain.

Cherry, many of us have long stories of how we ended up in chronic pain and what led up to it.
I know how you feel about being alone. Since RSD started in 1999; 12yrs ago after an on the job auto accident, it changed my entire life, I was never able to return to any kind of work, and only had my Mom until she had to move out Jan 2010 to take care of my Grandma and Aunt. It has been lonely since and I too have been divorced for so many years now and also was in a few bad relationships in my past.
Please don't think that nobody would want you this way as I've found that to not be true. It's just hard for us to get to the point of acceptance to help ourselves lower the depression that pain causes and to begin to deal with things in a much better way so that we can come to a point to allow another person who is hopefully nothing like our past and loves us for who we are.
It took me a few years to come to grips and to get over the major part of the depression even tho I still feel like a prisoner of my own home at times.
The chronic pain is still there and I have to take meds I wish I didn't to have any quality of life at all. I've tried to go without only to find that this disease has my body in such a state of pain that I would be so much worse off.
Now I can deal with the pain and life again. I took 2 1/2yrs not dating anyone to get back in touch with me so I never repeat the same mistakes of allowing the wrong people in my life again and it has helped tremendously.
I know you can become better also and hopefully the support you get and allowing yourself to feel better about you even in pain because we are still human beings with feelings and deep inside we are the same good people we were before pain.
Just know it takes time and that's okay.
We are here for you so please feel free to share, vent, and ask anything.
Gentle Hugs,
Rhonda, IN

I haven't quite figured out how to navigate this site, yet, so I'm sticking to replying. I'm so afraid of sounding whiney, needy and insensitive to all of you with pain.

I'm sitting here with a heat wrap around my neck...waiting for vicodin to kick in so I can drive to my appt. at 3:00. I see a therapist every couple weeks. He's gentle with me and encourages me to be kinder to myself

My doctor needs to change my meds to something that lasts longer. It's always a fight with insurance. They make me try anything older and cheaper before what my doc prescribes.

Cherry,

No one in your family or even friends are going to understand your pain, why? because unless you feel it, you can not understand it, so don't get mad at them, is reality, and you must move on. Hun, when you have the "why me?" way of thinking, life and pain will not get better, say; why not me? I am human, I have a condition that can be treated, and I will find the Doctor that is going to help me out, and that is going to make me better.

You need a pain management Doctor, one that will treat you an extended release medication, that you can only take every 8 hours and makes you feel better, and then he should also give you an inmmediate release medication that you can take when the pain peaks, so that way it will help your break through pain. Been under medicated is awful, so you need to find the right Doctor, so your situation can change. If you don't have a PM Doctor, go to; www.doctorsforpain.com, just type your city, and you will find a Doctor that treats pain, and that can give you the help that you need. Take care, and take charge of your health, that way your life will be better, and your pain will be under control.
Hugs,
Tipper

Every time I start a new alternative treatment, I tell myself that this is the one that's going to help me. Each time I end up in worse shape and I can't afford to try anything else that isn't covered by insurance.

I just spent the last 3 months going to a Chiropractor who told me I was going to feel better. He had me seeing him 3 times a week and now my neck and shoulder pain is through the roof. A specialist found a problem with my rotator cuff and has ordered an MRI. It's much worse after 3 months of painful adjustments.

I'm a hairdresser and I need my body to work! Every day has become a painful test of my failing endurance.

I guess I haven't found the right doctor, yet.

Acceptance followed by desensitization. I know people hate when I do this, but, I know of a good resource to help understand this situation.

Several years ago a therapist tried to 'desensitization' after diagnosing me with PTSD. I ended up in the hospital...retraumatized. I've tried to remain open to any new idea that comes along, but I'm at the 'who gives a crap' stage, now.

I'll still listen to what you have to add. Thanks

PTSD is different than chronic pain in regards to the manifestations of active disease. PTSD is more often on, or off, where pain is modulated in degrees of severity. Therefore, desensitization is more effective regarding chronic pain.

Interesting...I started out being sent to a pain clinic years ago. They immediately handed me over to a therapist who dragged some horrific stories out of me that I'd never shared before.

Then he made me go over and over the same thing until it pushed me over the edge. I think it was a fairly new form of therapy at the time.It was a long time ago.