Well, technically you're not supposed to be here if you haven't been diagnosed with PTSD, but I'll talk to you for a minute. My PTSD started after a bad car accident and much pain. My husband was like yours, didn't understand why I wasn't doing things and why I needed him to pick up some of the slack for a while. Just for a while. I didn't realize that I was the strong one in the family. We ended up divorcing 5 years later. Do you have a psychiatrist? Mine back then just asked me a simple question: What would you do if I slammed my hand down on the desk real hard? My answer: I would jump out of my skin. How is your startle response. Does it go and go and go and not come back down? You could be depressed. Either case, you need to be diagnosed and treated. I send you good thoughts and wish you well.

Thanks for your response but this is a chronic pain group. Not PTSD. At least that's what it says above this post. I don't have a psychiatrist. I need to find one tho. Thank you

sorry you are having a tough time with your husband, maybe he thinks he's helping 'fix' you with his unhelpful shouting? I hate anyone to shout at me and it makes me physically ill now.

Do you have enough work credits for SSDI ? If you haven't worked steady and paid FICA and have enough work credits, you aren't eligible for SSDI.

Since you refer to the man you are living with as " my children's father" I don't know if you are married or not. If you are not married and you don't hold yourself out as married, you may be eligible for SSI, if you are found to be disabled by SSA criteria. SSI comes with Medicaid. The max federal monthly benefits for SSI in 2016 is $733 a month. If you don't pay yoour share of the living expenses and have proof, the SSI is reduced by 1/3.

SSA verifys if you are eligible for SSDI or SSI before they look at the medical evidence. If you aren't sure about the number of work credits you might have for SSDI, you can create and online account at the link below and the info should be there.

https://secure.ssa.gov/RIL/SiView.do

Welcome to the group... I have fibro and you lady are not lazy.... Fibro or RA or lupus are all debilitating diseases .... And it takes courage to deal with it ... Your a good mom to get your kids to school and be there for them... Housework has to be done in increments .. I do something for fifteen or twenty minutes now and rest and I don't know how old your children are but teach them to put their toys away .. I'm guessing you have a toy box... Your husband should not yell at you that's probably frustration on his part.... But getting disability is hard I do hope you are successful ... Don't beat yourself up for something that is beyond your control.... Learn all you can once you get your blood work back about the condition and your not alone in your struggle... Each journey is different but the same in a way.... Pace yourself and do rest when needed .... I have a ta da list instead of to do and celebrate the little things I get done ...three children take a lot of energy... I hope your husband helps you and has more compassion....((hugs)) polar

This is a chronic pain group. I think MillaSofia may have gotten confused about which group she was posting in for a minute.

What I have found with most people is that they only understand what the experience for themselves. They THINK they remember a time when they were in pain. Then they compare your situation to that. The problem is that it takes years and years of constant pain to actually remember the real level of pain.

What worked for me with my spouse was: When he was totally exhausted and sick with pneumonia, I asked him to do one more thing, then one more thing and finally just one more thing. When he complained, I pointed out that I feel at least as bad as him every single day. BUT I have no hope of it “getting better” tomorrow or the next day or the next. I will never feel “better”. He hates taking the dog out at night. I don’t mind. But when he gets upset about such things, I ask him what is so darn hard about walking the 10 feet to the door to open it. Again, I use this only to compare to how I feel when I am doing things.

When he injured his back, I asked him to get up more times than he wanted to so he’d remember it and have some compassion for me.

The other thing to do is to explain how to do the task that he is upset about so he has the choice to do it. Unlike you who have no real choice because you have to prioritize everything all day long.

Lastly, google the “Spoon Theory”. Print it out. Get some spoons and actually hand them to him. Place them on the counter with each task that you must do. Since you have children, hold back three or four every day to use for the inevitable crisis that come with children in the house. If there are any left, ask him which of these chores he feels is critical to use up a spoon.

Expect anything you do to work only marginally for a short time. Always keep in mind that this is to help him learn more compassion.

It takes patience to get anyone to understand.

Also depression is a health issue as well a doctor can give you something to help... Chronic pain and depression go hand in hand and sometimes treatment for both is needed... I have bipolar and I am on antidepressants and they help... (( hugs)) polar

Not being able to stand or walk has been a problem on and off for me, I was supposed to get tested ( MRIs ) for MS but I have only had 'obamacare' insurance ( useless here ) or no insurance so didn't happen.

I got depressed when I couldn't 'pull yourself together' or deal with practical stuff, it's all very 'happy clappy' in the bible belt, you are supposed to be able to talk yourself out of bad stuff and it's because you are not 'right with god' if you suffer. I got past that now.

Your husband's anger issues would be a problem whatever your health though- every time you don't follow his expectations or instructions.

Welcome to the group! I'm sorry you've been suffering so much and still don't have a definite diagnosis, hopefully the rhuemy will have some answers for you soon, let us know...as others have said, unless you've lived with chronic pain you've got no idea what its like but that doesn't mean you have to take shit from someone who doesn't get it. Maybe you should sit down with your partner and tell him just how much pain your in, how housework etc can make it 10 times worse and his yelling about it sure as hell doesn't help. I know from experience that, once it starts, the abuse and tirades will only get worse and having that on top of cp can make life unbearable.

Good luck with your rhuemy appt and I hope coming here and finding out that you're not alone living with cp helps a little bit. Regards Maddy

When you had your car accident, this is when your pain started you say. What did they say the injuries were from your car accident? What Dr.'s did you see after the accident? Were you admitted to the hospital? Who'd care were you under post-car accident, who did your follow up care? At what point did you realize that the pain was either worse or not going away and what Dr. were you seeing. Where you in any kind of pain prior to the car accident or did it all start after the car accident?

sorry for all of the questions, I'm just trying to kind of paint a picture of what happened and get an idea of what happened at that point.

Pinched nerves in my cervical spine and power back, carpal tunnel from the force of the air bag in both hands. I was not admitted to the hospital. I saw orthopedic doctors and went to physical therapy and a chiropractor 3 times a week for 3 years. I noticed my pain was getting worse when the physical therapy, back and neck adjustments and medications weren't working and I just felt the pain getting worse. 20 minutes walking in the grocery store and I have to sit down due to severe lower back pain. I had ZERO pain before the accident.

Do you wear hand braces/supports for the Trauma Induce Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? Have you ever been seen by an Orthopedist for the CTS, there is a surgical fix for that, and it's just an outpatient 1/2 day surgery, with not too bad of a recovery.

You have a Diagnosis from your car wreck, Pinched Nerves in your Spine/Lower Back. That can cause pain in all parts of the body. Depending on what area's of the Spine/Back are affected indicates what areas of the body would have pain, and it can be head to toe, arms, legs, etc. That doesn't just go away, but it can get worse. When is the last time you saw a Spine Dr., or have you seen a Spine Dr. That would be my next step. I'd see a Spine Dr., find out how much the Pinched Nerves in the Spine/Back have progressed and what could be done to fix that. If you see a good Spine Dr. at a good Spine Center, (I'm not sure where you live) they can do laser Spine surgery now that is outpatient, very non-invasive compared to an open-op procedure, less recovery time, small incision site and your up and walking the same day.

Not sure why or how you got to a Rheumy unless they don't know about the Pinched Nerves, Fibromyalgia often gets used as the "catch all" DX when there is all over body pain and no clear answer. But you have a DX from the car wreck, so I'm not sure why that wouldn't be checked before other things.

Have I missed something? and i'm sorry I know i'm not the soft and fluffy type, just trying to help you find an answer....I tend to dive into research mode.

It's probably not a good idea to hide your pain or smile at the dr office- my dr has zero empathy as it is for example, without trying to spare her feelings. To be honest I think many doctors do not take pain or emotions or clinical depression as seriously as they should, they think you can just 'shake it off' and that simply is not true.

I finally got an answer. Apparently I have hepatitis c. The gastro said that my ck levels look like I have been exercising for 2-3 hours. No clue where I contracted it since I have no history of intravenous drug use. I do have a tattoo tho. My liver enzymes have been elevated for 10 years. That's the first time a doctor ever mentioned about it. I was 21 then so we assumed it was due to my heavy drinking at the time. Every doctor I have seen since has also said my liver enzymes were elevated but brushed it off so I assumed hay was normal. I have been dealing with this issue for at least 10 years. That's why my muscles hurt all of the time and I'm always tired. I have a bone density test today. I also did more blood work. I really like my gastroenterologist. She REALLY is concerned. I can tell. Doffeeent from other doctors. Once she figures out what type I have, I will be issues medication and should be cured within 6 months.

Also, I have seen a spine doctor. He gave me some shots in my lower back (I forget what they're called but he did the under X-ray). It was supposed to work for 3-6 months. It worked for less then a week plus I was in severe pain for 3 days after the initial shot. He wanted be to some back and do another set of shots for my back and some for my neck but I refused. They do not give you any type of Anesthesia and the shots themselves hurt soooooo bad and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. Plus it didn't really work. I didn't feel like r was worth it. I got to the remit in the first place because one of my blood tests showed a possible marker for lupus. That was eventually found to be negative tho.