I have always had hope. My situation isn't as serious as a lot of others here, I know we don't have to qualify to be a part of this group, but just a little bit about me, I will be coming up on 3 years of daily pain in October, serious enough to have a SCS implant, but my Spirit is good. I love people, and I love life.

Those feeling down, please talk about it, and get help if you think you might need it.

Chronic pain is a taker, but my cup is half full.

Good topic...........Thanks.

David.

I dream of no longer being in pain. The only benefit of being dead is that there will be no more pain. If there was a pill to take that would end all pain once and for all, I would never think of ending things.

David,

here I have to disagree. Unless you talk about it with others who honesly understand what it is like to be in intractable pain, just talking with others does not really help. It can get you checked into a hospital where the psych nurses can decide if you get your pain meds depending on how they feel at the moment.

Sorry to disagree!

On the real painful days I still have hope. I don't know when or how it will come. It dose though. Like David my cup is half full. I take joy in the beauty of nature and how when I am at my lowest something lovely happens. I may wait for a while but it comes. I isolate sometimes and that is the worst thing I can do. When I am a big pain flare it is all I can do.
I understand how it can get and I have been there a few times.
So I wish your eyes wide open so so you can see and enjoy some beauty around you and regain a little hope that things can change.
It isn't always easy but it is there if you look for it.

very good topic and thank you for opening it.

But that is the mentally challenging thing for a lot of people. Once you go through the doctor maze for 7-8 years, you know what each doctor is going to do before you get there and you know they will not stop your pain. So at some point you start asking "what would do away with the pain?" A lot of people cannot come up with an answer other than death. I run a website dedicated to a podcast that deals with giving hope to others by sharing my stories of hope and things I have learned, so I am totally against this thought process, but I still cannot help myself from the thoughts and am interested in how others deal and cope.

Good for you on running the podcast. You are giving back.

I have had several thoughts of wanting to die. Wouldn't go through with it, but man when the pain is so bad, you just widh it would go away.

People with chronic pain have a 4 time higher rate of suicide.

Do they really have a 4 times higher rate or are you just using it as a figure of speech?

We do have a much higher rate. I don't know what it is but we are totally misunderstood by nearly everyone, imitated by the addicts who just want the drugs and the attention seekers who watch to see how to pretend to be sick with a difficult to Dx disease process, and looked down on by everyone so we have to hide that we are in pain.

That is a lot to carry around.

That is an interesting way to put it but I agree with you. We do have a lot to carry around. Those addicts and others to me are killers because they have stopped me from getting the health care more than any health issue. I do have hope and I share that with others for them and for me. It helps me appreciate life more. Rambling Chronic on itunes if someone is inclined but regardless I am trying to do something to keep me motivated to live. I do not try to hurry death but if it comes to me, I could easily embrace and welcome the relief from the pain. I try to live like it is a matter if life and death. I run 10-20 miles per week because it helps me deal with it. So if I can do it then most can because my pain level is 5 to 8a every single day and that is with 28 prescribed pills per day! We can do it together

good topic...the way I look at it is when theres a bad stint of pain, there are times when I think, if I were dead I wouldnt feel this. But the thing that pulls me through is my family and friends and those who care around me. They are the ones who give me hope and make it worthwhile. When the pain is awful I think, Im lucky to have these people, and I always think of others who are in a worse situation than me. Although this doesnt help the pain, it gives me enough drive to pull through it.

I am like David, I have hope, not much of it but a little. Sometimes I really wonder how the hell am I meant to live with this for forever. I dont think I will live long, I dont see how I can in this much pain, and the future is scary, but its worth it to be with those I love.

So, yeah the thought crosses my mind sometimes, but when I truly think about it, those I love pull me through and cause of this I realise how incredibly lucky I am. I may live every day in constant pain, but its worth it just to be with them.
xxx

I haven't wished I was dead, but I have asked God why he even let me wake that morning if that's the kind of pain I was facing.

Hi neighbor. This topic hits home right now. I am probably in my worst mental state as far as wanting to die due to all the medical issuses, pain I must face on a daily basis. Death would be a most welcome relief from it all. In the past I have been quite positive with it all, but now it is really getting to me. After 8 surgeries, May being the last one, this body is struggling to overcome the growing pain. And have about 15 different dx, mostly neurological.

For me, it is mind over matter. I have to push myself to get out of this hole, but the pain, conditions keep pulling me back in. It is a struggle to take even a small step in the right direction.

Not funny that I should come across this post right now. Yes, I want to die due to the chronic pain I feel in my body. Not to be conceded or anything, but I am otherwise, young, beautiful, educated and capable of making a shit ton of money. If I were to NOT suffer agonizing pain, I could re-gain my life, and just jump back into it all in a few, maybe 6 months. But that is a hopeless, unrealistic fantasy. I know that now, SO I just started therapy and YES, I love my family VERY VERY VERY much, I have been selfless my whole life....now, it's time for me. I am in excruciating pain and I want to die because of it!!! There you have it. Dumb fucking doctors and their bullshit HMO's. I just would like to say that not ALL Dr's are bad. But I have no hope. NONE.

I have been in the position of wishing I was no longer here... I don't usually use the word die or death but just that I wish I no longer existed. My 4 children and 4 grandchildren keep me from wanting to die. I haven't been in this pain for nearly as long as many of you but in the beginning I only had one doctor and she wouldn't prescribe anything stronger than Tylenol 3, told me not to take them every day, and said I just had to 'learn to live with it'. She wouldn't refer me to anyone and I wasn't aware of the pain clinic in the next city. If I had listened to her I'd be bedridden in pain crying every day wishing I was gone. Fortunately I moved, got a new doctor who believed me and my hope came back. I still have bad days mentally and physically but its been a couple months at least since I felt that desperate. For me knowing that someone believed and wanted to help was enough to give me that hope. I wish everyone could have that.