Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
My life in your hands.
Dr. X... do you realize?
You have my life in your hands?
When I come to you for help because I am in PAIN -do you realize that I am NOT coming in here for multiple test and pokes and probes and embarrassment because I have nothing BETTER to do with my time?
When I ask you what I can do for the pain- and you tell me that you arent going to give me drugs because drugs dont work for my PAIN...why dont you realize that it does help me. Why else would I be asking?
When you tell me that all I need to do is stretch, relax, eat better, exercise and stop being "lazy" do you realize- that I agree with you that these things can help but if I was able to MOVE in the first place... I would DO these things. It is NOT about being lazy.
When you are determined to believe that I am spending all my time wishing you would give me pain medicine so I can get high- just consider for a minute ( if you have the time to care) the trade off. Do you really think (and lets say that this medicine gave me a high IF that is what you really believe) that it would be WORTH my life? Is it ...
Worth sitting in the house in pain - missing an entire summer because I cant get out and enjoy myself. Are you boating? Camping with friends and family? Im not.
Worth missing family functions and the joy of seeing the people that you love and that you havent seen in a very long time?
Worth risking embarrassment because a family member doesnt understand pain therefore they might change their opinion of you and it breaks your heart?
Worth missing out on the big game and your son/daughter doesnt understand why you couldnt be there... all the OTHER parents were there and you are crushed.
Worth the shame you feel because you cant work like everyone else and you feel like a "complete waste of space- freeloader" and a person that cant "carry their own weight?"
Worth the fear and sleepless nights because I don't have a partner or anyone in this world to help me with keeping a roof over my head, heating to keep warm, electricity and the worry that I am that one "one paycheck away" from the streets and losing everything I have and worked for at one time. You see, pain is ganging up on me.
Worth missing out on making love to your spouse, intimacy and bonding with the one you love?
Worth not feeling like your "old self" and "your new self" feels so foreign that it scares you?
Worth feeling like "where did that sexy, beautiful woman go?"
Worth feeling the anger that bubbles up from nowhere because you think "the man in you" has slipped away and you are unable to provide for your family no matter how hard you try?
Worth the heart break that you feel because you love your spouse so much you want them to have the life they deserve and you think they dont have that with you?
Worth everyday waking up with hope that you will feel better today and sadness at the end when you dont.
Worth the aggravation that I feel when I cant get through to you that I know my own body better than you do?
Worth spending money that I dont have, going to Doctor after Doctor, only to find that they wont listen, they dont understand and they really dont care? I dont have that kind of cash to burn looking for one that does.
Worth the humiliation when I try to be my own advocate and ask for what I legitimately need and you decide that Im a "drug seeker" or "doctor shopping" when I am not. Do you think its possible that you have judged me unfairly due to the actions of another individual that has nothing to do with me? Is it that Timmy acted up, so the REST of the class has to stay after too, in order to set an example?
Please consider that there are responsible people suffering in pain that have to take desperate measures and do what you consider...
** "Drug Seeking behavior" is it possible they ARE "seeking drugs" because pain has literally taken over their lives and they have become desperate. Who wouldn't "seek" a chance to be functional and enjoy life - no matter how long that took? Doctor? Wouldn't you?
**"Doctor Shopping" is it possible that they are shopping around for the best Doctor they can find? You seem to forget that in reality you ARE... working for them so in turn, you CAN be fired. It is possible they will have to see multiple "bad" doctors... before they find the "right" one. Then that would technically be called "doctor shopping" correct? I have the right not to like you and the way you practice and if I feel its in my best interest... the freedom to move on. Pity the poor sap that doesnt find doctor "right" on the first visit. According to this logic, it is better to settle for what you don't want rather than a chart that says, "this patient is a sneaky doctor shopper" that shouldn't be trusted." To me, that is a lot of unfair power and manipulation.
Dr. X ... please consider a refresher course on pain management, medications and patient rights. You don't have the facts. A person in pain does not "get high." And even IF that were true...do you honestly think that it would be a realistic trade off for a life made up of these types of challenges? Why do you come to the conclusion that everyone wants pain medicine for recreation and not a bridge to a better life? Everyone deserves to enjoy and participate in their life to the fullest - feel like "normal" people that make plans and set goals.
So when you are out living your life, please take a moment to think about what someone else might be missing. Your life is not more important than another.
Do you realize that you shouldn't have my life in your hands?
Dr. X... do you realize?
You have my life in your hands?
When I come to you for help because I am in PAIN -do you realize that I am NOT coming in here for multiple test and pokes and probes and embarrassment because I have nothing BETTER to do with my time?
When I ask you what I can do for the pain- and you tell me that you arent going to give me drugs because drugs dont work for my PAIN...why dont you realize that it does help me. Why else would I be asking?
When you tell me that all I need to do is stretch, relax, eat better, exercise and stop being "lazy" do you realize- that I agree with you that these things can help but if I was able to MOVE in the first place... I would DO these things. It is NOT about being lazy.
When you are determined to believe that I am spending all my time wishing you would give me pain medicine so I can get high- just consider for a minute ( if you have the time to care) the trade off. Do you really think (and lets say that this medicine gave me a high IF that is what you really believe) that it would be WORTH my life? Is it ...
Worth sitting in the house in pain - missing an entire summer because I cant get out and enjoy myself. Are you boating? Camping with friends and family? Im not.
Worth missing family functions and the joy of seeing the people that you love and that you havent seen in a very long time?
Worth risking embarrassment because a family member doesnt understand pain therefore they might change their opinion of you and it breaks your heart?
Worth missing out on the big game and your son/daughter doesnt understand why you couldnt be there... all the OTHER parents were there and you are crushed.
Worth the shame you feel because you cant work like everyone else and you feel like a "complete waste of space- freeloader" and a person that cant "carry their own weight?"
Worth the fear and sleepless nights because I don't have a partner or anyone in this world to help me with keeping a roof over my head, heating to keep warm, electricity and the worry that I am that one "one paycheck away" from the streets and losing everything I have and worked for at one time. You see, pain is ganging up on me.
Worth missing out on making love to your spouse, intimacy and bonding with the one you love?
Worth not feeling like your "old self" and "your new self" feels so foreign that it scares you?
Worth feeling like "where did that sexy, beautiful woman go?"
Worth feeling the anger that bubbles up from nowhere because you think "the man in you" has slipped away and you are unable to provide for your family no matter how hard you try?
Worth the heart break that you feel because you love your spouse so much you want them to have the life they deserve and you think they dont have that with you?
Worth everyday waking up with hope that you will feel better today and sadness at the end when you dont.
Worth the aggravation that I feel when I cant get through to you that I know my own body better than you do?
Worth spending money that I dont have, going to Doctor after Doctor, only to find that they wont listen, they dont understand and they really dont care? I dont have that kind of cash to burn looking for one that does.
Worth the humiliation when I try to be my own advocate and ask for what I legitimately need and you decide that Im a "drug seeker" or "doctor shopping" when I am not. Do you think its possible that you have judged me unfairly due to the actions of another individual that has nothing to do with me? Is it that Timmy acted up, so the REST of the class has to stay after too, in order to set an example?
Please consider that there are responsible people suffering in pain that have to take desperate measures and do what you consider...
** "Drug Seeking behavior" is it possible they ARE "seeking drugs" because pain has literally taken over their lives and they have become desperate. Who wouldn't "seek" a chance to be functional and enjoy life - no matter how long that took? Doctor? Wouldn't you?
**"Doctor Shopping" is it possible that they are shopping around for the best Doctor they can find? You seem to forget that in reality you ARE... working for them so in turn, you CAN be fired. It is possible they will have to see multiple "bad" doctors... before they find the "right" one. Then that would technically be called "doctor shopping" correct? I have the right not to like you and the way you practice and if I feel its in my best interest... the freedom to move on. Pity the poor sap that doesnt find doctor "right" on the first visit. According to this logic, it is better to settle for what you don't want rather than a chart that says, "this patient is a sneaky doctor shopper" that shouldn't be trusted." To me, that is a lot of unfair power and manipulation.
Dr. X ... please consider a refresher course on pain management, medications and patient rights. You don't have the facts. A person in pain does not "get high." And even IF that were true...do you honestly think that it would be a realistic trade off for a life made up of these types of challenges? Why do you come to the conclusion that everyone wants pain medicine for recreation and not a bridge to a better life? Everyone deserves to enjoy and participate in their life to the fullest - feel like "normal" people that make plans and set goals.
So when you are out living your life, please take a moment to think about what someone else might be missing. Your life is not more important than another.
Do you realize that you shouldn't have my life in your hands?
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
My heart bleeds for your pain. I can hardly type this because of the tears that are streaming down my face because of the empathy, saddness and rage I feel for you. Because I can tell that you poured your heart and soul into this, and that it is penned in your blood and tears.
You have expressed what we who fight these dragons of illness feel. And I doubt anyone could have put it all better.
What makes it far far worse is that you are yourself one who works to try and help others heal. The rage and unfairness of that seethes in me.
I hope that your last straw doc--who prompted this letter--receives a copy. Because only a real and true monster couldn't learn from it.
You know that I'm rowing in the same boat with all that I'm facing right now. But I am there for you. Together we will find doctors who give a good damn.
Know that I am there for you. I know JUST what you mean. And sadly, I do know that these problems are worse in some areas that others.
So MY FELLOW SEATTLE AREA READERS-- please step up to the plate and offer help. Share which docs have helped, and which haven't.
And Lady, keep the faith. Help will come. I'll do everything I can to be there for you and help you. ~ Vivi
bluestski- I had a family dr I went and saw twice. I had to have a pap done that morning and I was in sooooo much pain I coudn't lay flat on the exam table and my BP was 158/120. I never said a word to the nurse but she knew. The dr came in and said what is going on? You have back pain or something? I said yes today is really bad for some reason.. He says to me well I guess we'll reschedule your pap so you can go home and take it easy, maybe take some advil or something. I said it doesn't help. He immediately said to me, oh well I can't prescribe you anything for the pain so just try some heat and ice with some advil and you'll be fine.. I left his office and never came back. I never said anything about wanting pain meds. I had actually only been to his office twice one time to establish care (my GP retired) and then we scheduled a pap because I hadn't had one in a couple years. Needless to say I never returned to that office again.. How heartless was that? My husband had to help walk me to the car yet this dr went out of his way to tell me he wouldn't prescribe me anything.. Effin ahole!
Please dont worry my friend - I am fine- I now have a Doc that is wonderful and I am so grateful for that because there was a time that I was NOT so lucky.
I guess I felt like writing down the thoughts that I have had for a very long time - kind of coming from a group point of view.
Thank you for looking out for me...we should all do this for one another. If we dont ... who will?
I think people forget sometimes how many men struggle with CP - I would guess more than is actually reported- for several reasons.
I think men (probably most would agree) that most of their self worth and identity comes from their profession/ job. We need to remember THEIR struggles and what it means for them to lose all that. How can they be a "man" if they cant provide for their family? They want to know that the people he loves, can depend on him.
Your intuition is correct. However having CP has made me realize that is a stigma that society cultivates and we men in all our pride all to gladly except it. True manhood is having the capacity to love and give that love away. It's sad that being humbled by CP was the only way I came to the truth. Don't misunderstand me i still want my 100K job back and my healthy body:)
Thank you
The end result is that doctors are afraid of the DEA and they don't want to be resonsible for getting someone hooked on narcotic pain killers!
They also do alot of unnecessary tests and soak the insurance company's which result in higher premiums for us, just because they are afraid of getting sued.
If you can find a doctor with balls, who is not afraid and will fo the extra mile to insure that you are free from pain, I'd hang onto him. They are few and far between.
Thats my take!
Wish doctors would take the time period to learn about Pain management patients. I had a Gyno procedure done & everything they would normally use to prep a patient for this procedure I was denied. Did not know this tll the last minute. I was told I would be prepped like any other patient & there for took only part of my meds that morning.
Just the position I had to lay in had me in agony. The doctor pretty much told me he could not give me anything & had me know in certain terms he did not feel right giving me anything. Even the anti inflammatory injection all patients received. I could barely walk out of there & my husband had to hold me up.
At the follow up I had the surprise of my life. The doctor apologized & told me he took the time to talk to some other doctors about CP & PM. He knew what he did was wrong & said he did not blame my husband if he wanted to kick his rear. Yep that is exactly what he said.
He then told me I would be treated the same as any other patient & he promised nothing but respect. As he had an MA that treated me like I had two heads & I let him know I did not appreciate it.
He felt bad & spent over 20 minutes apolagizing. I don't ever expect that to happen again (a doctor apolagizing) but I sure did appreciate that he took the time to understand. I know I was the talk of the office with my list of meds. Oh well they should be thankful they don't live in this body of mine.
Maybe we should all carry something like this & a patients bill of rights & attatch it to our charts.
The thought that goes through my mind the most when dealing with doctors is: If you only knew.......
Sammy