Why can't your husband apply for other jobs? Seems like a long time for him to be out. There has to be something that he can do.

If I were you I think I probably would try going back to work. Do you qualify for FMLA leave that would let you work a reduced schedule or take time as needed?

I guess my answer to your questions is yes and yes. If I couldn't feed my children and there was no other option I would expect my husband and myself to do what ever was necessary to make money.

biggest hugs ever.its so hard on people the economy but whenyou are in pain its a nightmareand stress of finances certainly does not mix with being in pain..I do two jobs but they are partime but its so i can rest in between ..nobody at work knows they see a smiling happy face the dont see me being sick from my drug or the extreme tireness and all the other things...its hard to get jobs ..not good at the moment but I think you have to keep looking and hope something comes along a job which is safer

big hugs...sorry to hear this..if you do work is it possible to do something from home? or something with easy hours/easy work? Can your husband look into other jobs? Hope you can get this sorted..

I personally am teacher training at the minute against my doctors wishes. I have widespread rsd, chronic fatigue, bursitis and trigeminal neuralgia...and I find keeping busy actually helps me...okay Im tired and hurt constantly...but it keeps my mind busy and this stops me thinking about the pain. of course there are days the pains too bad but they understand. ive only been doing this for about 5 weeks so i dont know how the future will be but each day as it comes.

good luck whatever you decide to do x

Hon, I am so sorry for all the stressors iin your life currently and know that most of us are effected by this horrible economy. I would not necessarily expect my husband to go back into a dangerous situation but I would encourage him to be out there eight hours a day looking for work.

I think I would encourage you to go back to work for several reasons mainly because you are the one working and it will help provide for you--perhaps your doctor would specify four to six hours a day so that you can ease back into it. As others have said, being busy helps keep your focus on something other than yourself.

There are food banks that will give your money or food...various other charitable agencies, food stamps etc. I would limit asking your relatives for food as it may end up causing hard feelings and chances are they are struggling also.

All the best to you and I will pray for you that things begin to improve quickly for you and your husband. Keep a smile on your face if at all possible.

Melinda

Yes 5 think your husband should go get his job back. Especially since they called him and asked him to come back. It seems very difficult to find any kind of job these days. My soon to be SIL does the same kinda of work and he is just a 26 year old. My thought is take that job as he looks for another. They say it always easier to get a job when you have one. Also go apply for FOOD STAMPS asap. Remember you have paid in for them and now you need a little help. Good luck to you my friend

Tamale

I too would say yes. He can take the job back and meanwhile be on the lookout for something different if he is of a mind to find something he finds safer.

first, i'm sorry about your pain and situation b/c stress worsens pain which worsens stress...
i'm with the others. he could go back to work AND take the stress off for now and keep looking for other one. you can ahead and start applying for SSD. do you have a good pain management specialist working on these issues? remember if you do get disability, you may not be able to get medicare until you've been on it for 2 years. have you checked around for food pantries. i'm just watching yesterday's The Chew online (abc.com) and they're doing the show on cooking with items from food pantries. i'm also concerned about your children and how you're dealing with them. do you go to a church? even if you don;t you can call one for help. can you talk to your supervisor or HR about your reservations about being able to work full days to see if there's an alternative. i'm on SSD and it's hard to get by, but it's something. it is important to stay busy and feel like you're doing something positive. i know this is long, but i feel for you and wish you the best.

Jenny I have to agree with most of the post here. I believe your husband should get his job back regardless how dangerous it is. He's capable of working your not. He should do whatever he has to to provide for you and the kids. Does he do anything to try and find another job or is he just drawing unemployment.
If your pain is anything like mine at all how can you work? What about FMLA? Foodstamps, food banks etc.. If this is a permanent or long term pain issue apply now online for SSDI. It takes 18 to 24 months to get if you have a good doctor and medical records to back you up.

Good luck to you and please keep us posted. I'm available if you ever want to talk.

Healing hugs

What HE should do aside, to answer your question; you just do.

As every single parent, single person, low income, stuck in the corner, have to make-ends-meet person out there; you just do. You pick up tricks, get plenty of sleep, eat regularily, cut corners here, make sure you don't cheat your health there, find the strength every morning and go.

You cry and curse and feel sorry for yourself and life feels horribly unfair, and you just do it. You pray for the day that it changes and you just do it. You pat yourself on the back on the good days and grit yourself on the bad.

My hubby has trouble keeping a job. It is the industry, plus I've been a single mother and I don't trust anyone to care for my keep, incase that bottom falls out. Life is unfair.

You do what you have to do and maybe things get better. It is the hand that you are dealt with and you either sink of swim.

Sorry it isn't easier than this.

Angela

2 kids? Well, it if was ME I would definitely ask my hubby to take the job, unless he could come up with an alternative. Marriage is like pulling a wagon uphill, it takes 2, but sometimes one needs to take a rest and let the other pull the wagon. But that's just me.

I'm very lucky in that my hubby has a good job, but in our early marriage we did go through a difficult time where we lost it ALL and had to rebuild. (*Cough- ENRON SUCKS-Cough*) We relocated from Houston, Texas to the Midwest for his new job and the weather here while gorgeous, makes the RSD worse. It's always something, right?

I work as a consultant/writer and have to leave my 2 year old son for up to a week every month. It's hard to be away from the child I spent years waiting for but it's necessary right now. And it's something I was lucky to find b/c I took what I know I do well (write) and was open to anything. Now I'm able to work at home (except when I'm out of town) and set my own hours. No one knows I have RSD, just that I have a bad foot/leg, and that's only b/c we have meetings throughout the year and in the Winter, I can't hide it as well.

Is there some talent or something you enjoy that could turn into a job? I NEVER would've guessed that I'd be doing this, but sometimes you'll be surprised by what you can find. And if you can't, don't feel bad! We've all had time off b/c of our CP, whether it is a few weeks or a few years.

Hopefully your Hubby will be able to find something, but in the meantime, there are government programs that can help with food and other things. You have 2 kids and your hubby's out of work, there's NO SHAME in taking it!

Good luck, Hun- it WILL get better. Just hang in there!

I guess the short answer is 'yes' he should take the job - if he finds it too scary and dangerous then he can look for something else but he needs to do his share to support the family.

You say you've been on short term disability for 7 weeks - can you extend it if your doctor says you shouldn't be working? I started out with a 2 week leave and have been off now for almost 7 months and continue to receive disability benefits (long term now). Like others have said you can also look into food stamps, food pantries, local churches etc. There are lots of places to get help. Best of luck to you, my thoughts are with you.

Hugs,
Lisa

I think you hubby should reapply and keep that till he can find something else as not eating is really scary also and if he can work he should work as it in no longer a option.

It is hard out there but jobs can be found even if they are just jobs to take till something else comes along. Disability only pays a portion of what you earned so that may not be in the long term. Maybe you can move in with family till something comes up.

It is hard when you have kids as they need and want stuff and we as parents want to give them what they want.

I know it might not be popular to say but tell hubby to get up and get going as you cant do it anymore and it is his responsibility to take care of the family. My hubby has had the same job for 26 years and he works in a machine shop and got his hand stuck in the machine and it got messed up he went to work with a cast on as there was no other option

Enigma did you say pick up Tricks? loL I would if I had to but I am not sure if they would want me with lidoderm patches and smelling of icy hot but you never know.

Pick up tricks. OMG Manny!!! Thats not what I meant LOL! Too funny.

Thank you so much for your replies. I'll answer some questions first. Yes, my husband looks for other work, but it's just not panning out. I am currently on FMLA and receive some payment from short term disability along with unemployment. It's just not cutting it around here. I applied for Medicaid (to help with copays and scripts) and food stamps, but have not heard back either way (still pending).
I spoke to my husband yesterday and he is not willing to go back to his previous job even if it means I have to return to work in this pain. I have moderate to severe pain 24/7 and have been working with a doctor on a regular basis, but all good things come in time. Time i don't have while I don't have money to feed the kids and keep the bills paid. I am heartbroken and sad that my husband did not step up to the plate when I needed him most (especially after carrying the majority of the family load while he was laid off in 2009 for one year and most recently 15 months). I know this will change our relationship for the worse. I truly expected him to pick up the load because he is able...and after 8 years..he just isn't. So, I called my employer and told them I would be back on Monday. I am terrified and sad. My gut tells me that I am not able or I wouldn't have taken the time to begin with... Who knows, maybe I can....As for my marriage, I am not sure. The illness I have will continue to get worse in time and this is just the beginning and I'm not sure I want a husband who isn't up to this road of illness. Maybe he agreed (when I was well) but didn't really know what it meant when it started to decline.
Thanks again so much for your replies. I will keep you updated on my work journey.