Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I found out that I am 'hated' (the word used) by the other grandmother. She had decided to take on raising the baby when her son couldn't and I supported her decision. I'll spare you all the details, but ultimately, I was generous and kind and very considerate to what she was going through. But, this was her decision and she went into it, eyes wide open.
Well, I am a step grandparent, and she has help from the social service aid babysitting and the father and her daughter and friends and I've been held at arms length a few times because of my status. Last year when my little sweetie was a few months old and not sleeping through the night, she asked if I could look after him on Saturday and during the night. Me, with my chronic, almost daily migraines and a fulltime stressful job, had declined and I explained to her that by friday I was exhausted and the weekends were the only time that I could recharge.
I thought she understood. That was a year ago and I could feel much tension since and I just found out that she's been yapping about how "Angela had to """REEEEEcharge""" and can't look after Mathew".
I'm a kind person, so yep, this really hurts. Don't know what to do about it. Salt in an open wound, you know.
The flowers on Mothers day to her, Birthdays, Thanksgiving dinners, BBQ's, gifts, babysitting when she is in a bind, and she tells people she 'hates" me.
Most times I do push through and do things inspite of the pain, but I knew I couldn't handle it, and this is what I get.
It just isn't fair, you know. Thanks for listening.
Well, I am a step grandparent, and she has help from the social service aid babysitting and the father and her daughter and friends and I've been held at arms length a few times because of my status. Last year when my little sweetie was a few months old and not sleeping through the night, she asked if I could look after him on Saturday and during the night. Me, with my chronic, almost daily migraines and a fulltime stressful job, had declined and I explained to her that by friday I was exhausted and the weekends were the only time that I could recharge.
I thought she understood. That was a year ago and I could feel much tension since and I just found out that she's been yapping about how "Angela had to """REEEEEcharge""" and can't look after Mathew".
I'm a kind person, so yep, this really hurts. Don't know what to do about it. Salt in an open wound, you know.
The flowers on Mothers day to her, Birthdays, Thanksgiving dinners, BBQ's, gifts, babysitting when she is in a bind, and she tells people she 'hates" me.
Most times I do push through and do things inspite of the pain, but I knew I couldn't handle it, and this is what I get.
It just isn't fair, you know. Thanks for listening.
It hurts! I can't say anything to change that. You have to know that you are doing the best that you can and pray that some day it will be clear to others that what you gave was far more than all they did because your giving was from your very little strength while they had that and more to give.
It stinks, and I'm so sorry you were hurt.
Hugs,
Theresa
It is hard to wait for those days. But children will often amaze us when we least expect it.
Hugs,
Ama
it's not fair.
hugs!!
Comforting hugs to you,
Toni
How can I retaliate without lowering myself to her base level? I can't, but I can lean on you guys for a moment of understanding and clarity while I get over it as you try to help me make sense of it.
Today I learned her smiling face is a phoney front and those close to her could change sides on a whim. Better to know the truth so I don''t extend myself further just to get hurt again.
Thanks for your words and genuine empathy. I feel better that not everyone is on the take.
Angela
People do and say the most unkind things at times. We all should come with a automatic gag reflex when we are about to say something stupid. The human race would be much better off. LOL! When there are children involved I know how much it pulls at your heart. I'm sorry that she refuses to understand your situation. For some people they must deal with pain directly or they willnever really get it. We don't wish pain on anyone, but for some folks that is the only way they will ever understand. You hang in there, because we understand. Hugs, Cathy
It sounds like she took on too much and is looking to spread the responsibility. That's not YOUR responsibility! That child belongs to his parents and if they can't parent, and she took it on, then she needs to take it on. I'm not saying she's awful, just that she wanted this, right? Just like I wanted my son even though I'd had RSD for years. And while at times I'm so tired I can't go another minute, I find the strength b/c HE is what matters. So if she is taking on the mommy role, then she should feel the same way.
You're being honest, so don't beat yourself up over it. And you at least know that the child is the most important thing. If she is badmouthing you behind your back and he hears it, it puts him in a very bad place. Either this woman wants to raise a emotionally healthy child or she wants the attention. Either way, she took on a job that you can't quit. You knew what you could do and it's sad that she is being like this. Just don't let her get to you!
Good Luck- we all have to keep an eye out for the children in our lives and you are acting responsibly. Don't worry too much about this and know that YOU did nothing wrong. Just love the child- if you can do that, you're doing what you can! And no one can ask more of you. :)