Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I found out that I am 'hated' (the word used) by the other grandmother. She had decided to take on raising the baby when her son couldn't and I supported her decision. I'll spare you all the details, but ultimately, I was generous and kind and very considerate to what she was going through. But, this was her decision and she went into it, eyes wide open.
Well, I am a step grandparent, and she has help from the social service aid babysitting and the father and her daughter and friends and I've been held at arms length a few times because of my status. Last year when my little sweetie was a few months old and not sleeping through the night, she asked if I could look after him on Saturday and during the night. Me, with my chronic, almost daily migraines and a fulltime stressful job, had declined and I explained to her that by friday I was exhausted and the weekends were the only time that I could recharge.
I thought she understood. That was a year ago and I could feel much tension since and I just found out that she's been yapping about how "Angela had to """REEEEEcharge""" and can't look after Mathew".
I'm a kind person, so yep, this really hurts. Don't know what to do about it. Salt in an open wound, you know.
The flowers on Mothers day to her, Birthdays, Thanksgiving dinners, BBQ's, gifts, babysitting when she is in a bind, and she tells people she 'hates" me.
Most times I do push through and do things inspite of the pain, but I knew I couldn't handle it, and this is what I get.
It just isn't fair, you know. Thanks for listening.
Well, I am a step grandparent, and she has help from the social service aid babysitting and the father and her daughter and friends and I've been held at arms length a few times because of my status. Last year when my little sweetie was a few months old and not sleeping through the night, she asked if I could look after him on Saturday and during the night. Me, with my chronic, almost daily migraines and a fulltime stressful job, had declined and I explained to her that by friday I was exhausted and the weekends were the only time that I could recharge.
I thought she understood. That was a year ago and I could feel much tension since and I just found out that she's been yapping about how "Angela had to """REEEEEcharge""" and can't look after Mathew".
I'm a kind person, so yep, this really hurts. Don't know what to do about it. Salt in an open wound, you know.
The flowers on Mothers day to her, Birthdays, Thanksgiving dinners, BBQ's, gifts, babysitting when she is in a bind, and she tells people she 'hates" me.
Most times I do push through and do things inspite of the pain, but I knew I couldn't handle it, and this is what I get.
It just isn't fair, you know. Thanks for listening.
You are in a tough spot are you the other grandparent the maternal grandmother and she is the paternal grandmother and has custody of the child?
I think she is hurt were you all friends or at least did you think you were friends? I think she was looking for help and thought you were turning your back on her and if you had a good relationship and want to repair It you may want to sit down with her, does she know how much pain you are in on a daily basis? I know I dont talk about my pain alot so some people may not know the extent of it.
I will sometimes let things go around in my head till I can get it fixed with family I hate tension so maybe a good heart to heart talk will help so you do not have that added tension when you go and see the baby.
I'm not gonna make this about me I just wanted you to know I fight the same battle. If you ever want to talk one on one I'd be glad to help and I'm a great listener too.
I'm sorry your having to deal with this heartache. It might be time to have a face to face talk to get stuff out in the open.
Hugs
Not worth a talk to her if she has the phoney front. Words are wind and I need to let these go too. People will do as they will and I guess the real underlying fear is that I'm loosing my little guy that I love so much.
Tough year, this 2012.
What ever we do-- time - energy- whether its something we WANT to do or HAVE to do ... usually does not equal the same "currency" of the person asking...
So your BF is the grandfather of this little boy right and she has custody of the baby as her and his son can not take care of his own baby?
I think she took custody because what else is there to do besides putting the baby in foster care and probably hates being in this position and is angry and taking it out on anyone who does not have the responsibility of taking care of the baby on a full time basis.
I dont think she is really mad at you but more mad at the situation she has to do all the work and she thinks everyone else gets to reap the rewards of seeing the baby and walking away and she is just mad at the world. I think she should probably just give the baby up as some grandparents do not have the energy to take care of a baby full time.
It is sad to bad the son and mother of the baby could not take care of the child.
I hate to say it but as usual people do not get it. I sure do & just told myself I will not make any promises anymore.
You know your limit & that's that. She does not walk in your shoes.
My goodness people are cruel. I cannot stand a phoney or a backstabber. I'd rather have someone spit it out.
I come right out & let others know this & will not participate in hurting others behind their backs, This get me a reputation as a B with an itch or anti social because well most women do like to gossip in hurtful ways, at least the ones I know.
Not for me, I'd rather have my one or two dearest friends then 100 I can't trust.
She will just have to deal with it, you do what you need to & keep on smiling. In the end she will look bad for this ongoing behavior trust me there. Never fails, give people like this a shovel & they dig their own hole.
It is hurtful, I know that, remember what comes around goes around. Firm believer in that & have watched it happen more then you know.
God bless, Keep smiling & chin up. Sammy