Chronic Pain Support Group

Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...

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jancam 01/30/2012

I almost said over our lost lives. As you all know, sometimes it feels that way.
I know there are five stages of grief and usually can remember them all, but for some reason can't right now.
I know the last is acceptance, and I think I'm finally easing into that now.

Although, I tend to cycle back through them over and over.

For those of you that have reached that acceptance, real acceptance, do you get to stay in it?
Or does it become another step in the recycling of the stages?

Even as I'm typing this, I'm slipping back. It's been hurt I ' me to be on computer-can't seem to find a way around that although my sweet DH keeps trying to come up with solutions. And if I want to type with any accuracy like this, it takes foreeeeeever. DH has offered to get me one of those talking programs like "dragon speaks" (I think it's called). I burst into tears whanever he mentions it. Like, really, how much more can I possibly lose......whaawhaaa. I should be grateful to have the means and the DH willing to give me that.

Whoa.....where did I go there?

I know some of you here really seem to have the acceptance thing down,my question is sincere..........Once you REALLY get there, do you get to stay there?

Thank you........jc

calebjax 01/30/2012

I wish i could help Jan, but i refuse the acceptance phase, i believe i am stuck somewhere along the line, i have the denial part out of the way, but acceptance i have a problem with.

mike12358 01/30/2012

For me the short answer is no, I think that it is like many other things in our lifes, a cycle, something that comes and goes. i wish that it was a one shot deal, there your done with that now move on, but i don't think so. that might be to easy.

as far as dragon goes it sounds great, i've thought about it myself but for me that would be to easy. Making my hands work helps me in the long run, even though it sucks

Michael

aprilraven 01/30/2012

I believe it's a cycle. Most times I do really well with acceptance, but then sometimes it just seems to slip away and I have to fight to get it back.

deleted_user 01/30/2012

I cannot quite get to the acceptance phase. Its tough.

kate333 01/30/2012

I feel acceptance is a cycle. Even though youve accepted something, you can still have periods of grieving. You can still have times when you are scared, lost, alone. The acceptance path is not straightforward, its a journey thatll test us. But thats life isnt it? Whether or not you are in cp, people find it difficult to accept things. With the extra added cp and story that goes with it, its a life changer as we all know...but it doesnt mean it has to beat you. You can still have dark times...acceptance, I believe, is knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope this makes sense, hugs

deleted_user 01/30/2012

Acceptance is very difficult for me. I thought I had it down when I was laid up for 12 years, but now that I look back I was really just waiting to die. Now my condition is regressing again and I refuse to accept it. If I did, I think I would lose all hope of having some kind of a life. I will be able to accept this I think if and only if I have exhausted every possible path to feeling just a little better. No cures or miracles expected, but I do know now that it can be made more bearable.

jancam 01/30/2012

Sis this has not in to do with tjT,'but the boards corrcng my typing!

jancam 01/30/2012

Okay, maybe not

deleted_user 01/30/2012

I feel so confused right now.

deleted_user 01/30/2012

Honestly, with every new bout of pain every new rule or regualtion that makes my life more misrable every time some idiot child or celeb makes stupid statemetns like just have strength and determination, I just feel worse.
These idiots all affect others lives so determentially without a care for what others might be going thru.

I feel like a piece of flesh in the closet for someone who does not goive a crap to play with.
It just seems too stupid to hear people who actually receive adequate relief from their doctors tell the rest of us to have strength and we can face anything. Especially young people who have no idea what it's like to have lived many many decades in intractable pain. I really feel insulted by these statements.

Wait, what was the question?
Oh, yes, acceptance. Maybe that is what you get when you actually feel the end is near.
For those of us not in a terminal situation, how do we accept an endless expanse of years of pain, pain and more pain?
And the lonliness.
And the fear that if someone finds out we will be called
WEAK
STRENGTHLESS
NOT TRYING HARD ENOUDH
???????????????????????
Don't know.
Can't answer that one.

serenityha 01/30/2012

yeah, i feel like acceptance is a never-ending cycle. this weekend everything got to me and everything ached so bad i couldn't eat.
today is much better and i wonder if i make this up. i know from friends in 12 step groups that they have to go through the steps over and over.
i get on good streaks where i feel pretty at peace, but i find that i can loose that in what seems like a flash when a few things come at me once. resilience, being able to bounce back rather than sliding down that slippery slope is something i'm aiming for.

deleted_user 01/30/2012

I think acceptance is harder for people like myself who have received very little help from the medical profession. Although I do not yet have a diagnosis, my pain is severe and debilitating and not to be able to take pain meds and antiinflammatories is really hard. Perhaps if I had something that took some of the pain away I would be able to accept this better. I don't know that answer yet. I hope to soon.

Seekn1 01/30/2012

Acceptance for me... is not beating myself up on the days that I struggle... I still cycle the 5 stages regularly and have learnt that it's a natural thing to do what ever the circumstance... and JC, No I don't thing anyone could really... (except maybe a Buddhist monk)

deleted_user 01/30/2012

There is, in my mind, a very thin line between acceptance and resignation.
One allows some room for hope.
The other has room only for despair.
That is the measure by which i gauge my current efforts toward
acceptance.

myshoes 01/30/2012

Eeyow, couldn't have answered better. I'm with you ;)

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