Well said, Eeyow.

Please God, grant me the strength to change what I cannot accept, the courage to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Sorry if I mis-quoted. I think I got the meaning right.

just came back to look at new replies and i'm so glad i did. i'm inspired by so many people here, your wisdom and courage, and sweet spirits. it really brightens my spirits to see people pulling together. i really like the way things have been lately.
peaceful night to all.

For the most part I have acceptance of my situation. I word it that way because my situation and myself are different entities. I don't have a choice, but to accept it or I will not only have forever body pain, but forever mental pain as well.

It was a very difficult struggle to go through and then I realized it was myself that I was fighting with. Why fight myself? I didn't choose this life, it chose me. Why blame myself? So I've spent that energy instead on living as positively of a life as possible. Living my life to the fullest with what I have of ME to do it with. I research, I try to find ways to improve my life all the time.

I do go through phases of sorrow for what was. Grief never leaves, but it can become more bearable.

For me even tho I accept where I am today does not mean I lay down and take it. I still look for ways to improve my daily life and to make the pain better tomorrow then it was today.

Just because I say I accept it that is not the end all game. I dont want to live with regret or live being mad. I really do think I have the same life as I did but just with different limitations.

Some good things have come from my pain and that I am thankful for.

it ssi hard to give up those dreams

I definitely move between the stages of grief and have never really been in the acceptance stage. My situation is probably different in that my pain and anguish (at this point more mental and emotional than physical but the physical will likely progress) is iatrogenic from when my gyn needlessly removed my organs. Although I have more need for doctors than I ever have in my life, I have little trust in them. In many ways, accepting my situation feels like condoning the many unnecessary hysterectomies which have caused so many women to be permanently harmed.

I recall telling my therapist that I had no choice but to accept what was done because I couldnt have my organs back. She told me I didnt have to accept it. By that I think she meant that I need to grieve and its ok to fight the system and try to change it. She also said that I dont have to forgive my gyn. I know forgiveness is supposed to be freeing and doesnt condone the wrong but it doesnt feel like that. I dont know if Ill ever be able to forgive or truly accept this injustice.

Thanks, jancam, for starting this discussion.

i've been thinking about this more with all the good perspectives. it is like grieving any loss of a dear thing/person. i might me in acceptance for a while, then a reminder of then hits me and there's more grieving or anger or denial or bargaining, but i think (for me) those phases get a little shorter as i try to accept which means coming to terms with the fact that i can't do old favorite activities and that rest is imperative, etc. etc etc. i don't want to be bitter, shaking my fist at God, although i do fall into pity parties.

For me, I have gone through all of the stages as well. I finally get to the acceptance stage when my symptoms seem to level off, and by that I don't mean go away. They just are what they are and that is that. However, everytime I experience a new symptom, I go back through the stages, skip denial, and move right along towards anger. How do you deal with the fact that you're never going to be normal again, and no one understands that.

I know they mean well with statements like, "Technology has come a long way, and they are coming up with new techniques everyday". Well, whomever said that is not living with a rare disorder in which there has not been any money spent on research. And we have not found any new info in the field for 50 years. They figure, hey it's rare, why would we spend our funding on that. There's no celebrity suffering with it, let's leave it alone and let them deal with pain management for the rest of their lives. Obviously I'm angry right now, I'm going through Solumedrol infusions this week to hopefully ease some of my symptoms in my hands, and the swelling that comes along with it. I have already met my deductible for the year about two weeks ago. How sad is that? I just want to stop thinking about all of it, but I can't, it never goes away.

Someone on here said something about terminally ill patients. I guess that it may be easier for them to deal, because they see the end. Not saying that that is better, probably easier for them to accept. When you have a life long illness that is going to cause you pain for the rest of your life, you tend to hope that the rest of your life isn't going to be so long. We see no end to our misery. Just when you feel a little better, someone pulls the rug out from under you and laughs in your face as you experience yet another symptom to add to a long pathetic collection.

I accept right now to be in pain, but it doesn't mean I will be able to accept it later.
And it doesn't mean I accept it forever.
I surrender to the moment but I do not give up trying to get better.

Working towards healing is what keeps me going and accepting the pain in each moment is what keeps me sane.

i agree beck. every day is different. you never know how you'll sleep, what the day will bring. for me it's moment by moment b/c no matter how i plan to live "within in my means (spoons), it never seems to work out. i was in a decent place when i went out and everything possible went awry. i don't need to go into it, but i went from acceptance to why am i here? just have to go to bed.

I am mostly in the acceptance phase, until my meds fail. Then I seem to go directly to psychotic depression. Lucky they don't fail too often.