Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
OK..obviously not going to be a happy post.
We talk often of grieving the loss of our " real" selves.
Today...I'm feeling the loss for my family of that self.
So many holidays have come and gone with barely a nod from me.
I have the most wonderful husband who's been an amazing stepfather to my kids for sixteen yrs.
My daughter picked out a card for him from me, because I've not been able to get out. I won't be cooking because I'm not having a great pain day........and so on.
It just has really hit home with me today how much my family has lost to my pain and illness. I am hardly a wife or mother any more. My husband is virtually a widow but still bound to someone not capable of being a wife. My daughter takes care of all of my old responsibilities...and both take care of me. I want so much more for them. They DESERVE so much more.
Of course, I wish for me that this hadn't happened. But..so much more than that....I wish for them it hadn't.
I don't know why I'm putting this out there like this....I just feel I could be engulfed in this sadness.
I'm sorry for spreading unhappy thoughts....I feel like I could just be overtaken by this feeling....and, sometimes, just talking with you guys eases things. Thank you.....hugs...jc
We talk often of grieving the loss of our " real" selves.
Today...I'm feeling the loss for my family of that self.
So many holidays have come and gone with barely a nod from me.
I have the most wonderful husband who's been an amazing stepfather to my kids for sixteen yrs.
My daughter picked out a card for him from me, because I've not been able to get out. I won't be cooking because I'm not having a great pain day........and so on.
It just has really hit home with me today how much my family has lost to my pain and illness. I am hardly a wife or mother any more. My husband is virtually a widow but still bound to someone not capable of being a wife. My daughter takes care of all of my old responsibilities...and both take care of me. I want so much more for them. They DESERVE so much more.
Of course, I wish for me that this hadn't happened. But..so much more than that....I wish for them it hadn't.
I don't know why I'm putting this out there like this....I just feel I could be engulfed in this sadness.
I'm sorry for spreading unhappy thoughts....I feel like I could just be overtaken by this feeling....and, sometimes, just talking with you guys eases things. Thank you.....hugs...jc
You are not alone.
its ok to grieve the way you used to be.i understand and feel alot like you,like i want to be a better mom,but i got pregnant with the last 2 when i had no business doing so,knowing how ill i was....
it being a holiday makes us reflect on things like this,it always does,i bet your hubby loves you dearly,your so kind and loving....dont beat yourself up to much,it doesnt make it change,but,yes,letting go of the feelings by sharing here is the important thing to do,we care,understand and most have alot of same feelings,ill be sending positive energy your way,i love you,im here.
amy
I understand what your saying, but remember, you are a wonderful wife, mother, friend and so on. What you can physically do is neither here or there, in terms of love...you just as you are is all that matters! Your husband and daughter wouldnt change you for the world, and Im sure theyd be horrified to think that you believe they deserve better, cause I bet they think you are the best possible! They wouldnt want to change anything of you (only to make you better-for you).
I know what you mean and how you feel...but they probably dont even see it that way at all, as you are there for them, they are there for you. Families work that way, and Im sure if there are ways you cant be there, there are a million other ways you make up for it.
I hope youre feeling better soon...its horrid when sadness engulfs everything...just know that we are here for you always
huggles xxx
I know exactly how you feel. My son has only known me as disabled, as I became disabled from lupus that flared during my pregnancy with him.
So many times my husband has stepped in (and stepped up) to do things with my son that I couldn't do- like taking him to Disney World for the day (we lived an hour and 20 minutes from it). Or going to his violin recital. Or Safety Day at school when he was 7 or 8.
I've done a lot of things with him too but it seems like I've missed out on a lot of stuff. I'm grateful that my husband was willing and able to step in and do those things with him.
I think my disability has actually made the bond between my husband and son even stronger.
Try to look at the positves. I'm sure your daughter and your husband have a much stronger relationship because, and despite, of your illnesses.
Obviously they both love you and think of you. But don't ever think you're alone with this. There are a whole lot of us moms out there that feel the same way.
Sandy
I feel very limited in my ability to do things for others, be it even friends and neighbours and this frustrates me so much. I can barely cook for myself never mind invite a friend over.
I don't know what the solution is to this state of affairs. I hold the vision of healing myself and being available to others and meantime, I do my best to appreciate the time I have as I see others running around trying to do millions of things and hating it.
We are powerless over our fate but as others have said, we can always love.
gentle hug and company for your sadness today, Jan,
Ama
There is nothing worse than being alone in a crowd of people.
it is a really bad day for me too.
i hope that you can express your appreciation to them and feel their love and understanding.
you know that you can bring it all here. i know you have such a sweet spirit they feel blessed to have you in their lives.
xoxo
Your daughter is doing exactly what I did for my mom. She was the most loving caring person I have ever known and I would not have traded the opportunity to help her for anything.
Let your love for your family bury that sadness. Famiies just want your love, especially the children, You must be very proud of your daughter for taking on the responsibility. It says a lot about you and how you raised her. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your family. Don't let the dark hole win. I am throwing you a rope to hold onto through this bad time. We all need you, you brighten our days. Hugs and positive energy being sent to you. -RJ
My son made me feel better once when I apologised for not being like other mums.
He told me he didn't want other mums as he already had the mum he wanted. It didn't matter to him I do not do the things other mums do. All that mattered was I was the perfect mum for him.
I bet my last dollar your family feels the same of you.
p.s. beautiful avi. love trees!
just think, i gave you something else to look forward too... have a great night..
~stinke~
I hope you are feeling better this morning and got some healing rest!
I love ya kiddo!!
Gentle hugs,
Jenna
Your understanding and compassion lifts me.
I love you guys...hugs...jc