((( hug))))
I can understand and I feel so badly for you. I am also a product of a surgical mistake...
I work in the medical field have dealt with multiple patients who had babies on meds.
Based on my observation, I would have to say that for me personally - I would NOT have children while on antidepressants or pain meds under any circumstances.
The short term effects can be dealt with, but the long terms effects can be devastating. From what I have seen, these drugs effect brain chemistry in terrible ways.
If I was determined to have a child, I would do a surrogate or adopt.
I am terribly sorry that this has happened to you.

A lot of pain management drs that use to prescribe pain meds to pregnant patients have stopped because of so many babies being born addicted. It is also a big chance when it comes to malpractice. There is one state that if the mother or child tests positive for drugs, the state is automatically involved. The short and long term cost for when children are exposed to drugs is unbelievable. You also need to look at the activity level that is required when you raise a child. What would you do if the dr would no longer prescribe you pain meds at a level that worked ? I know you don't want to think about this, but could you raise a child alone if you and your husband were to divorce. ? Having a child is a 18 year commitment, 24/7.. It doesn't matter if you can't get meds to manage your pain, of if you're having a high pain level day, the childs needs don't change according to what is going on with the parent.

being male I am glad to see your thinking this thru so you can make a smart decision....n hugs on hoping to bring baby to world...I like what second to last line of Aronia's suggests doing it by surrogate...that works for many people.....keeps baby healthy....is not too expensive....idea to consider from my views...

So, your going to get a lot of different answers and opinions, as many of us have been through different circumstances. :0)

Don't panic, nobody should send you anything mean, if they do just ignore their ignorance.
Here's my 2 cents.
I've been in Pain Management since I was 17 yrs old, and I am now 47, I have been pregnant twice and had two sons. I was born with a few congenital and degenerative diseases that have affected my all my life. I've also developed many more over the last 17 years.

I was pregnant with my first son in 1990 at 20 years old. My medical issues at the time were:
Degenerative Cartilage Disease
Chrondomylasia both knees
Factor VI Blood Clotting disorder
Tendonitis left & right rotator cuffs
Cluster Migraines (they were just Migraines at the time)
Seizure disorder - Absence Seizures

I was on strong medications for all of these things, because they had to be managed and I couldn't just stop all my meds, that was not a possibility. I was on narcotics, Vicoden, Percocet, Soma Muscle Relaxers, High Dose NSAIDS. I'd already had 4 knee surgeries.

When I found out I was pregnant, and we'd been trying to get pregnant, I set up a meeting with ALL of my treating Dr.'s and my OB/GYN. Luckily all my Docs were in the same hospital and we came up with a treatment plan. "What to do" decisions for every scenario imaginable. I had an awful pregnancy, I had severe nausea for the first 7 months, and at times had to go into the hospital for dehydration and the fact that I would dry heave so powerfully they were concerned for the baby. I made it to 7 months and then wen't into Premature labor, which they stopped and I was put on bedrest for 2 months. On the last day of week 34 labor started again, this time they just let it go, they'd been giving my baby steroids to bulk up his lungs. I was in labor for 26 hours before they finally figured my baby was wedged in my hip bones and was stuck.....when both of our heart beats began to slow and stop the did an emergency C-section and had the baby out in 1 min. 13 seconds. He was okay. I had to have 7 blood transfusions that night. We both spent a couple weeks in the hospital and I was told I could never get pregnant again.

In 1990 while having a routine pregnancy test before an Upper GI my Dr. found out I was pregnant....9 yrs later. I was pretty shocked.

At that time I still had all the above medical issues, but:
the Migraines were now Cluster Migraines that could last for 13 days.
The Seizure Disorder had progressed to Grand Mal Seizures
I'd had 4 more knee surgeries
Severe IBS
BiPolar Disorder w/Severe Suicidal Ideations
Both Kidneys began filling with Stones and I'd passed several

Once again I was on some serious Psych meds, narcotics, anti-seizure meds, etc. and they weren't things I could just stop. The 2nd pregnancy was just as bad as the first, the morning sickness stayed the whole time, I actually finished the pregnancy negative 28 lbs. as I could not keep anything down. I went into early labor at 6.5 months and was put on bedrest. This time I had a scheduled C section set for the day I turned 38 weeks. I was in and out of the hospital monthly with UTI's and infections.

Since that time I've gained the following conditions:
Osteoarthritis - knees, hips, ankles, wrists, elbows hands, fingers
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome both hands
Surgeries to remove multiple Kidney Stones
6 cm mass on Left Kidney
5cm Tumor in Right Lower Lung
Linear Atelectasis Right Lung
Hepatic Steatosis
3 more knee surgeries & a Tibia Tubercle Ostiotomy w/Cadaver Implant, pins and screws on my left knee.

I have 2 wonderful sons, in spite of my crappy body. The youngest was born perfectly healthy and has lived a normally healthy life. One was born without a working immune system, severe lung malfunction and was in and out of hospitals until he was 12. He's grown up to be a great man and loves to remind the Dr.'s who told us he'd not live to see 1 yr. old that he's now 27.

The meds that I took did nothing to cause my sons illness. Bubble babies, babies born without an adequate immune system are very rare.

I had to make a choice whether I could stay Stable with my BiPolar and be able to walk and function or stop all the pills and probably spending most of the time in a psych ward because I was so depressed over the pain I was in and bouncing back and forth from mania to depression.

Nobody can make this decision for you, the only way to do it, is to do the research, meet with your Dr.'s find out what they think, talk with your husband and make an educated decision on what you want to do. No 2 people are the same and this situation is not the same for any to people who have Chronic Pain and medical or mental illnesses. Some medications you may be able to do without, some you may not be.

Take care.

It's not the baby being born 'addicted' that is the problem- that is easily managed in a good hospital and takes a few days. It's the uncertainty about the effect of drugs which alter brain chemistry for us on the development of the baby.

And ' the childs needs don't change according to what is going on with the parent. ' It's true. It's a really long-term commitment, @21 years or more in America, and could you cope with a child's health problems on top of your own? for that long?

Don't get me wrong, I think having a child ( by whatever means ) is the most wonderful experience.

And adopting can be a roller-coaster of issues too, even adopting a baby.

If you are going to live in pain truly for the rest of your life, well if it were me I'd think about all the implications, for example one is financial- if you can afford a nanny to take care of a baby and housekeeper later to do after school care or housework- that's totally different. So is if you have extended family who understand the issues and will support you all.

But you and your husband probably can't care for a new born or family just yourselves if you are in the ER several times per week, and the current climate for pain drug use is really obnoxious in the US ( my apology if you are in another country ) it's very judgmental. People lose their kids for being 'addicts'...

I'd say pregnancy, if you can handle 9 or 10 months without meds would be ok, myself I would not do it otherwise.

A baby is a really demanding commitment, in so many ways, and you seem from what you are saying that you want to 'do it right'.

I myself am hoping that US develops proper healthcare and develops new pain treatments and cures soon.

Good luck with whatever you decide.