I don't know that name of it..but, there's a board on DS specificly for pharmeceuticals addiction.
Brave steps, hun..good for you!
hugs..jc

Shlay I thank the you have got some really good advice. I've tried to go cold turkey and I had really bad side effects,so then I started to lower my dosage a little at a time until I was completely off of them. I was also on percocet at the time. Thrust me this is one medication you want to go cold turkey on. Whatever you decide I wish the best and my prayers are with you.

Checking in with you Shlay to see how you are doing and what direction you decided to take. Whichever it is, I hope it works well for you and you will be okay in no time. We are here if you need us.

Thanks for the love and advice everyone! I Haven't been on here because I thought talking about it was trigger it. I have my xanax that I am using to cope with the cravings, but not over-taking it.

I called my doctor today and said that I want to go off my pain meds for a while. I asked for muscle relaxers, which I got today and have been a big help. No sense in over-taking those, I'd just pass out sleeping. It is hard. I have about two pills left that I am taking very small amounts of.

I am already getting sick from the w/d. Stomach issues, no craving to eat, craving to eat everything sweet, back and fourth. My friend, who was addicted to intervenous drugs told me that Imodium will not only help my stomach, but that something in the drug curves the w/d. So I bought some of that and a box of night-time cold meds. Those were her suggestions and she is now clean.

The big problem with this (I've gone cold turkey before but never stayed more than a few weeks), is the lack of sleep. Your mind races, you think about everything you've done while on the pills and the guilt is enough to break your soul. Plus, every other bad mistake you've made, even minus the pills.

But the clear-mindedness has been a welcome return. I have more energy, I actually listened to music and sang today- Something I love to do and haven't done in a long while. It took a while for my vocal cords to retrain, but once I started I didn't stop for over an hour. It felt so good. I feel bad for my neighbors in my building though, for I am not the best singer in the world. lol.

I feel like the less I am taking, the more I am regaining who I used to be. Though, it doesn't help that this is falling on "my time of the month."

One downside that has been really afflicting me- The pain. I forgot to buy some over the counter pain killers. I can't take anything anti-inflammatory because I am on blood thinners, for life. I've had two blood clots in two years. Which sucks, because I always hoped on getting my tattoo finished.

But anyway, I love all of your kindness and support. It means so much to me!!! I just wish I had more friends irl to keep me distracted. Everyone is always too busy. I'm kind-of a loner. I don't really fit in anywhere.

But, there is my update. I will come back here when I feel like it won't trigger (mostly likely at night). I did snort half a pill today, but I didn't even like the feeling. So, that's good.

Peace and love!

Sorry you are struggling. I have heard that benadryl and clonodine helps opiate withdrawal. You can buy benadryl over OTC and you can ask your dr about the clonodine (you need an rx for that) and see what he thinks. Stay strong!

First Step to Recovery is Acknowledgement and you have just done that here. So well done for admitting you have a problem. I would be very honest with your doctor and work out a plan with him. Im not sure what medication you take, but I do know stopping suddenly could be very dangerous. You Can Do It, you will look back at this in a while and be very proud of yourself.

Alive, I can't be totally honest with my doctor. If I really needed the pills down the road, I would never get them again. I am doing good so far. My doc rx'ed me Flexeril that has been helping.

I already have a lot of stuff to help the w/d. I can't afford to but anything else until the 17th. I have $20 to my name.

Its a shame the Health care system isnt more supportive for you. I live on the other side of the world and its different. I still think you are doing very well for what you are going through.
I had to do something similar around 9 yrs ago. Keep us posted and it looks like you have a lot of support here. Kind Regards alive

Not sure if this thought will help....if it gives you more determination - great. if not - forget it.

Addicts behavior harms everyone in society who has pain. The Florida issues has spread to many states and now people in CP are being forced to Pain Management clinics where physician assistants treat instead of doctors. The patient has to pay more because these are "specialists". The patient has to pay more because MONTHLY appointments are necessary. The patient has to pay more becuase they will only write for a one month supply and many insurances discount for mail order.
Like I said, if it helps think about all the people you don't even know who will be harmed before you choose to snort the next time.
If that is the small bit extra that helps - use it to help you thru that urge. Eventually you will have your own self control to empower you to take back your life.

I told my mom about my choice and she is actually MAD at me. "I know when you get off your pills you get really depressed." What does she want me to do?! End up killing myself on accident from over-taking the pills?!

And sunny, I do have a doctor I see, because no pain clinics take my insurance. I know people abuse them, like I have in the very recent past, so that's why I want to take a break from them and get my head clear.

I begged my mom to come over and keep me company yesterday and she said she was too sick. Today she spent the whole day at my sisters house cleaning her nasty apt. She said she might come over after, but she just now left (after 7 hours of "not feeling good" and cleaning like a maid) and has to pick my stepdad up from work. It seems I don't rank anywhere in my family. The reason I get depressed is because I actually have feelings off the pills and when I'm alone constantly- it gets depressing!

My dad has turned his back on me for a falling out we had, my mom just wants to stay home all the time or go to help my sister, my sister is lazy and she never feels like taking the bus to come see me. Though I've often made the trip to come to her. I take the bus everywhere and my mom takes my sister everywhere in her car. Let me say this, my sister is 30 years old with two kids, yet she can't do anything on her own. She can't even keep her house clean.

I am utterly alone in this- and every other thing- in real life. She wonders why I get depressed... Bitch.

You are not alone. There are so many people here that will go through it with you! Yes, they are not in real life friends - as you said - but they are sometimes better.

I went through the last four years taking pills, more and more than I should, because I have a brain disease and it took three of those years to figure it out and then get it situated (I had four surgeries in the last two years, two being brain surgery). I would not admit to anyone that I was addicted. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't and reassuring them that I could go off whenever I wanted to...it was my choice! But I knew the truth...

In May of this year, my brain was finally situated and I went off of all of the medicines except for my anti-seizure medicine and my betablocker. It was also in May that I was set at the right place health wise. In May, I started to feel good -- completely sober!

I believe that physical pain effects our minds a lot more than we realize. Taking pills or drinking alcohol is kind of our way to say, "I just do not want to know how bad I actually hurt." But you have to know it and understand it.

I lost a ton of people in my life because of it as well because I was "loopy" and such a lot of the time they saw me. I never understood how I could lose so many people...it had to be their fault!! But it is one thing you have to realize - these people have picked up on how you are on the pills and a lot of people do not tolerate being around someone who is addicted - I will not say addict because you can recover - too well. Support is something you need and I am so sorry you are having a bit of trouble with that where you are! Again, these people here can help more than you know yet!

So when our minds know we physically hurt, we just want to not only not hurt anymore, but not be in our minds until we feel better...which taking a lot of pills is not going to cure us of that.

I did not go off cold turkey, I stopped all at once, but my recovery was a lot different than what yours will be. I am not trying to tell you or suggest to you to do what I did...I would definitely listen to those who have posted before me. But I would look for help around you. Not necessarily your doctor because if you were injured badly in the future, you would need help and that avenue would be closed to you.

Look for things around you that you enjoy, physically, and make yourself a schedule of them for each day, increasing amounts of time to do them as time goes on, but do not push yourself. You will have really painful days and you will have days where the w/d will be too overwhelming to spend that time. Just try to breathe deep and to do things that you have enjoyed in the past - like your singing! - or always wanted to do.

I hope that helps somehow...you are not alone. You do not deserve to die. You deserve to live and fight. You have admitted a problem so that tells me that you not only know that there is one, but that you are a strong person who knows that she deserves to be here - whether it is deep down inside or on the surface. Hopefully when you come out of this, you will be an even better you!

Hang in there!
Hugs.
Heather

Bump.

I don't see a new thread, so update? What's the Flexeril for? I wonder what the underlying health issue is and if it can be treated more effectively using things other than pain pills.

Also, any therapy? Because that emotional stuff drives the urge to misuse pills.

You can just tell your doc that you don't want to take them any more because of side effects. Perfectly normal reason. The doc will probably applaud your resolve.

Good luck dear.

I would hope your dr. would be willing to help you come off the meds.
going cold turkey, as others have said, could prove to be horrible.
someone had suggested just telling your dr. you want a "break" from them for a while...I think that would be a viable manner to get his/her help with this.
You don't know if you will need the narcs again in the future and just "taking a break" will avoid repurcussions later on should the need arise.
I'm in the process right now of cutting back on my own meds, I was able to talk to my dr. and he is helping me. I won't come off them completely, I do need some measure of the pain relief they do give me. I just don't want to build up a tolerance to these dosages and
end up needing more.

I do hope you will get the help you need in doing this...kudos to you for being honest with yourself and with us. Your ability to do that is testimony to your own inner strength.

(((((((((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))

noodles