I'm sure many of you have had those days.....you're so focused on dealing with the big things that all it takes is one little thing to set you off into a rage or reduce you to a puddle of tears. That was my day yesterday and I'd like to share because now that it's over I can look back on it and see the humor in it.

I've been at a very low level for a couple of months now, patiently waiting for some improvement, doing my best to do as little as possible. Yesterday I had a higher level of pain but I decided to accompany my husband to do the grocery shopping, he hates doing it alone and I haven't been able to go with him in quite some time, also, I just wanted to be able to pick somethings myself.

So.....I prepare well, dress comfortably, take a sweater cuz even though it's 90 degrees the market is always freezing, I have my cane, I am well fed, well hydrated, and it's mid-afternoon which is my best time of the day. So driving out of the garage the sun hits me in the face and I think "wow! that's bright!", I squeeze my eyes shut and my stomach rolls as my husband turns onto traffic......okay......I guess I've been so cocooned in my little world I forgot about all the elements waiting to assault me. That's okay, I'll be okay, it's a short ride. So we arrive, I pull on my sweater, got my reading glasses on a chain, I'm ready. I walk in and sensory overload hits....wow....what's that? is that new? noise! people! Things to look at EVERYWHERE. Deep breath....move slow.....check my list.....it's going to be fine. Half way through the store, after someone darts in front of me (the slow moving lady with her mouth hanging open) for the THIRD time AND kicks my cane, startling me and throwing me off balance, I'm thinking maybe this was a mistake. My heart is pounding, I'm gasping for air, my head pounding, hips throbbing, etc.....you get the gist. So.....deep breaths.....I make it to the butcher case and request my 1 lb. of chicken, stupid little ninny girl piles 5 large breast in the bag, stares at the scale like she's never seen one before and asks me "how much did want?", I repeat "1 lb". She takes off one breast....."how much did you say you want?'......deep breath.....with the patience of a saint I smile and say "1 lb.' each and every time she removes a breast until there is only one left. I look at my husband and try not to laugh out loud as his eyes roll back into his head. I will not inflict upon you what she did when I asked for 3/4 lb. of gr. sirloin. I still don't believe it myself. I fear our education sysytem has failed our youth., Needless to say, my left eye is twitching now. So.....one more person kicks my cane before I make to produce....almost done...almost done......I wait patiently while an apparent reunion is going on and blocking the fruit from those of us who actually want to shop....breathe.....breathe.......I finally get my apples, my husband holding open the bag so I only have to lift one at a time........i drop one and it rolls over and hits one of the gabbers....oops! Our basket is full, we head for the check-out.....yay. My head is spinning but I'm holding on with every iota of strength that I have hoping I do not pass out before getting to the car. The check-out girl is abrupt and loud when she tells me my coupon is not good because I'm only buying one roll of paper towels and the very tiny fine print says I need to buy two if I want to receive the incredible savings of 25 cents. I tell her to just toss the coupon....she hands it to me without even looking at me, I again tell her to just toss the coupon.....she's still holding it out to me as she's inspecting her manicure......my husband finally barks at her "we don't need it! throw it away!" What! am I REALLY invisible? I thought that was just a myth. So......I sign my name to my barely legible check and ninny-girl questions the amount. I just point, without looking at her, to the written amount. Sheesh! I'm barely holding on here. So she hands me my cash back and I start to put it in my wallet while slowly turning, my cane dangling around my wrist, and the lady behind is in such a damn hurry she shoves her basket forward even though I am still occupying that space.....bam into my already aching hip.....bam onto my ankle! THAT'S IT!!!!!!! AAGHHHHH! I drag myself out the door, lean against the wall while I try to put my money away......and I just can't stop it.....the tears start flowing and I'm shaking like a total spaz. My husband quietly waits while I have my moment and then we head for the car......me still shaking and crying. People are so mean! At least crazy basket woman mumbled a barely audible "sorry" which is more than the cane-kickers did. I cannot even put into words what I am feeling. I just say to my husband...."this world is not a friendly place for me anymore" and cry all the way home. I collapse on my recliner.....my kitty jumps in my lap, licks my hand, curls up in a ball and makes it all better.

We pick up burgers for dinner and I treat myself to sweet potato fries which I rarely eat, and I ate every last one of them. My little pity party.

A day in the life....huh?

I'm sure every one of you has a similar story. Thanks for patiently reading mine. It's nice to know that with every horrible or demoralizing experience I have......there is someone of you out there that knows just how I felt.

Love and hugs to all of you my friends,
Genie