Thanks hollie. You are right. I need my energy and she is sucking it away. After she broke up with me the second time she came back to my apartment, argued some more and then sat on my lap and started kissing me. I dont know if this means we are back together. But I am exhausted. I was feeling good this morning. My energy had returned. And now my cfs is back. It makes me very sad to realize that this is not the woman for me. She is too emotionally unstable and crazy. She drains the little energy I have. Before my 5 month relapse I had lots of energy and we had a wonderful time. It was truly beautiful. we loved each other very much. But I had not seen this side of her. I am just too tired now. and too sad. I cant stand this anymore. I want to cry. I loved her very much. But she is too crazy for me.

I am very very sad. We had something extremely beautiful. We had a wonderful relationship. It was bliss. This relapse ruined everything. Even a month ago when i went to visit her we had a wonderful time. Something happened to her recently. I dont know what it is. But she has been arguing with me a lot. But this is very recent. We were ok untli recently. I dont know what has happened to her.

I am very sad because I think this is over for good. She is not the same happy and loving person I spent over a year with. She is an angry and unhappy person now. She changed. Recently. I dont know why she changed but that happy and loving woman I share more than a year with is gone. This is so sad for me. I know I should not feel so sad because my cfs is going to get worse. The stress of this is just too much. But I feel very sad.

Sorry to say it seems she is just looking for a reason to leave at this point. Better to let her go with grace and start the healing process. She's not up for this and the stress is just not healthy for you. Better to part on good terms.

I know this is hard, but people just do not understand us. So many of us have lost relationships because of our illness.

It might be time to accept that she is not up the task of having a relationship with someone who has problems...she wants "somebody better". People can be very shallow and selfish, it's just a fact of life.

Don't let her toy with you like this, she's not supporting you at all. You need someone who will stand by you. I had to let a lot of people go, it was never easy...and sometimes devastating.

I agree with Richie and with the other posts. It can be absolutely devastating to let someone go who doesn't understand your illness. We tend to look back at the good days and remember when the relationship was beautiful, but if she can't stand by you through the good and the bad, there really is something wrong. No matter how wonderful it seemed, she is playing with your heart. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts so much. Cry all you need to. Let out a primal scream. Eventually, you will stand straight and tall again and you will be a better person for having let her go. Blessings on you.

I am starting to think that even if you weren't sick your relationship wouldn't work out. She seems interested in high drama, breaking up, getting back together, again and again.

But I've been in those kind of relationships too, before and after CFS. I ended up breaking them off but man, they took a lot out of me even before this illness. But with CFS this is what you want to avoid...stressful relationships.

Now I look back and think why was I even in them at all. It was very painful after ending and I guess you're in that hell now. I once counted the days after a break up of a one year relationship before I got over it and for me it took 10 days, with no contact whatsoever because the contact extends the relationship recovery time.

Good luck, this too will pass......

Hi There~~ I agree with everyone: That this young woman is not a good match for you. Her ambivalence, her need for drama, her accusations, jealousy, coming and going, threats all sound very unstable and manipulative. To say nothing of being insensitive and uncaring. The fact that she has been arguing and accusing you of things WHEN YOU ARE CLEARLY SO ILL is a giant red flag, or diagnostic indicator that she is not able to be with you emotionally when yo need her. So, you had fun when things were good. Anyone can do that. The true relationships reveal themselves when the chips are down and the other person shows up and is caring and understanding and tries to make like better for their sick lover. It does not sound as though she is capable of being in that kind of a giving relationship with you and wants out, so she is starting arguments and accusing you of cheating so she'll have a reason to leave. All the emotional pain you are going through with her would be much better spent on your resting and recovery. This is just an enormous drain on your system. Sadly, you may just need to let her go and it will probably be a healthy move on your part. She is not taking care of you, so you need to step up and call the shots and take care of yourself. You do not need, nor can you afford another 5 months in bed. Good luck Dear. You need love in your life, not strife and stress...