Rather than see what I cannot do and feel bad, I try to see what I can do and be grateful.

I recommend that you read loveandlight's "Unsung Hero Award" posted here recently. Taking care of yourself is a huge achievement! I can hear the theme song from "Rocky" playing for you now!

My way of coping --------
I was thinking the same thing you are thinking a few weeks ago. Then, I remembered something I said to a little girl once, and I wrote this in my journal here on DS:

"I read other people's journals on DS, and some of you keep reminding me of something I said to a little girl about a year and a half ago.

"The little girl was 4 years old, and an elderly lady that the little girl was very close to had just passed away. Some of us tried to comfort the little girl by telling her that the lady was in Heaven, with God and Jesus and the angels. The little girl got angry and said, "That's so not fair! Why can't we go to Heaven with her? Right now!!!" I told her that we all couldn't go right now because God wasn't finished with us. He still has work for us to do here, on earth.
The little girl still remembers what I told her.

"God isn't finished with us, either. He still has work for us to do, too. Regardless of the condition of our bodies, we still have work to do in some form or fashion."

Be patient. God doesn't pay much attention to clocks or calendars.

Good words S. I'm reading 'how to be sick' by toni Bernhard. I recommend it.
Try finding new interests that are within your new limits.
I used to love exercise and couldn't imagine my life without it. Today I sold my work out heart rate watch which is a bit sad for me as it is another confirmation that I won't be needing it in the foreseeable future and that I'm in need of money as I can't work. However I haven't given up on being able to exercise in the future but I know I'll always have to be careful and stay within my new limits. I can still walk so I enjoy that instead. I also have a new found love of baths and essential oils. Beautiful easy listening music when all I used to like was rock. As you can imagine rock doesn't really fit in with the new me. There are many things I miss but I wouldn't change my life.
I believe this illness has really helped me learn about myself, have compassion for myself and others around me.

Try finding a different purpose for each day. No matter how big or small it may seem, it is still important.

Today, your purpose is to make the rest of us feel needed. We need to offer help to you, that helps give US purpose.

Kind of nice......huh?

I woke up today and felt the same way. I thought, this can't be the purpose for my existence. To wake up, do whatever I can to get through the day and then do it all over again tomorrow?? Then I thought, God didn't put me on this earth for it to be just this. He has a plan for me and it's going to happen on his timing. I watch Joel Osteen Sunday mornings, it's very inspiring.

I stumbled upon this quote today: Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities -- always see them, for they're always there.

I try to be grateful and find some joy every day, no matter how small it is. If you think hard, you will find them.

This is some advice from my therapist. You have to find joy internally regardless of the circumstances. This is god's will and is designed for spiritual growth. Don't be attached to outcomes or to desires. Give up your desires and find solace in other ways.

This life isn't easy by any means, we all know that. We are stronger then we give ourselves credit for. Hope this helps and you feel better. Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day, It will get better, I promise!!

Hi Southbound. I'm glad you're here and glad you reached out. The things you are feeling are valid and important. Please know you are not alone in your struggles. I certainly cannot speak for everyone but I would imagine we all have felt, are feeling or will feel this same way at some point during our journeys. It's a very tough road we're on. Lots of curves. Lots of hills.

And we all seem to find our own set of coping tools to help us navigate. For me, I'm constantly learning. Constantly growing. And it's never a straight path. Ups and downs. Good moments and not so good moments. What I'm finding though is it's the not so good moments that I learn the most about myself. I believe my illnesses are giving me the opportunity to grow into the wisest and most peaceful version of myself.

As I lost more and more function, I've had to allow myself to mourn. We experience loss on so many levels. I'm learning to let myself really feel it. I used to be scared of it...afraid I would become stuck in the grief but most the time what happens is it frees up room to let other things in.

A practical tool I've been taught is to find a way to experience the things that bring you joy in different ways. If you used to love cooking but aren't able to anymore, maybe watch cooking shows. If TV is too much, use your quiet time to think about a new recipe you can have someone make for you. I used to love to dance so I look for dance videos on YouTube or TV shows about dance. I used to love to sing...now I listen to others sing. One thing I can still do is laugh. It helps me to constantly check in with myself and ask...what am I missing? Feel the loss and then either find a way to bring it back into my life in another way OR look for something to replace it.

Lastly, please know that your value and worth is not based on what you can or cannot do. You are valuable and worthy just because you are you! I encourage you to keep connecting with people here. The support here is unconditional.

Hope this helps in some way. Love and hugs to you!

These are all good suggestions! I'm going to print them all out and read them when I need a boost in the future.

One great thing about this board is that we share a common journey, so in expressing your frustration you express the pain that others have dealt with or are dealing with.

Like you I am on the journey of finding a new purpose for my existence. I always had a strong sense of why I am here and what I contribute to this world then CFS swept all that away..which has been life changing for me on so many levels.

But one day in my prayers I was ranting and raving and then it came to me that .. maybe I did not need to have a purpose. In truth most driven people lock onto specific external achievements and abilities because it satisfies internal insecurities. Maybe its OK for me just to be here because I am a child of God, he allows me to be here and my existence unfolds according to his plan.

Shocking!

Still working on accepting but that realization has given me comfort and allows me to be more joyful and be more quiet (shall we say serene?) as I wait to see what God has in store for me.

Hi Southbound!

You have gotten so many wonderful responses on this post. I'm so glad!

When I first became sick, I would often wonder, and my husband would often pray, "Lord, what good is my wife to you, or what good is it doing anyone, for her to be laid up in bed, unable to move. She wants to serve you, Lord". I don't wonder about that very much anymore. I know God has a purpose for my life. One that I may not have ever seen had I not been taken ill.

We lose so much with these illnesses. Where did our friends go? We may have lost our jobs......we may have found our families wanting to distance themselves from us because they don't know how to react to us. We become lonely and depressed.

One day, it just dawned on me as I was writing a hug here on DS, that I was doing something really important! I was being an encouragement to someone else! I was helping. I was maybe bringing a smile to someone's face who was badly depressed that morning. The more time I spent on DS, and the more people I got to know here, the more I realized how much we need each other. How much we guide each other. How much we care about each other.....we are a gift to each other.

So yes, I miss my job, I miss my friends that left me, I miss being able to run a mile.....but NOW, I hear the birds sing outside my window in the morning. I make little projects that I can do around the house. I've become a bit more creative! I'm getting to know ME better. I've learned empathy. I tell the people I love how much I love them, as often as I can. On a good day, a ride in the car, or going to a small shop is such a tremendous pleasure for me. A trip to see the grandkids does my heart such good that I think I glow for a month afterwards.

I guess I'm saying that I know I have a purpose in this life. I'm still a mom, a wife, a daughter and a friend. I have more time to put into these relationships now and I do with all I've got. I can some on here to DS and share my faith. I come here and respond to posts like this one. I send hugs and messages and comment on pictures of other peoples lives and make them feel good! THAT'S a wonderful thing to be able to do,

I have redefined my life. I am not this illness. I HAVE this illness, but I will continue to wake up, take one day at a time. Pat myself on the back for what I'm able to accomplish, and be oh so thankful that I found Daily Strength to log on to, and smile and give and receive gracious hugs from the people I have met here.

Hope, we have hope! We can love, we can share......we....YOU do have a purpose. I pray that each day you will find something positive in your life that you can build on. Things DO get better. We have to be patient! We're all still workin on that one!!!!

I pray you find peace. UP and attum!!!! xoxoxxo

Gentle hugs as we all make this journey together!

I too recommend Toni B's book "how to be sick".

I'm crashing quickly here but wanted to just say this....
Try to think of your life as YOUR life when you think of purpose, not what you contribute to society. Honestly it helps to learn to be a little self-serving. It's ok if your life is different than you thought it would be, for now or forever. It's still your life. There are things within it that have meaning. Have you a pet? If not are there wild creatures you can care for/feed each day? Is there volunteer work you can do at home? Can you be there for others online? This cyber community is so wonderful, we'd be so much more alone without our keyboards. Write a journal, a blog, a book. You can use a speech to text program to do so. Or do nothing, for a day, a month, a year, but to be kind to your spirit. Your spirit is living this life within a body that is not cooperating. Give it sympathy. Give it love. Help it grow beyond the restrictions of your body.

Don't give up trying to find that right volunteer opportunity. I can no longer work full time as a teacher, can't work part time as a teacher's assistant, can't even substitute for a half day. However, I can go to school and volunteer for 1-2 hours laminating or copying materials for teachers. It gives meaning to my life.

I noticed your beach photo, I had a friend who once said that instead of down or bad days, say your having a day at the beach, make your rest day a beach day, listen to waves or watch a dvd of the ocean , make a drink with an umbrilla in it, it can be juice, find a candle that reminds you of ocean smells, lay outside if its sunny.

Genie, I loved your comment about Southbound allowing us to bring comfort to her. I think the "beach day" is a good idea. Often our thoughts can be more positive and give us a better day. I used to imagine my perennials coming up in the spring, one after the other. Hope this helps. Isabelle19545

I too struggle with this. I worked really hard building my own business from the ground up since I was 18 (Im 39 now). It started declining as my illness got worse and finally had to close and work from home in Oct of 2012. What a huge life altering event losing my business.
I had my entire identity wrapped up in my work and could not separate the two. Now I feel lost....pointless at times because I can't help ppl or work like I used to. It's a constant fight to keep from falling into a deep depression being home ALL the time now. I used to see 200 plus ppl every day and barely had a minute to breathe...now it feels like breathing is all I have the energy for.

You have as much right to be on the planet as anyone else, regardless of what other people may be "doing". Your presence is enough! Maybe that's what we're supposed to learn: that what's inside us counts the most and can be the greatest contribution to life on earth. Meditation/prayer can help you to become more of who you truly are, and that in itself can bring you lasting peace.