I understand you question about purpose. I had a hard time adjusting to a new norm without my mom. I cried out to the Creator about what is my purpose. Later that evening someone knocked on my door. I check peep hole and open door. It was a little old lady disoriented and cold. She told me she was trying to get home for 2 hours. She lived right around the corner from me.

She told me she was blind in the dark and diabetic. I felt within myself no danger and ask her in while I got my keys. I told her I couldn't balance in the dark and held on to her as I help her at the same time. She kind of gave me wrong directions as house was on other side. I flagged someone and they had a GPS on cell phone and took us there. Gee I was only a block away. Anyways, she keep offering money and told her no. I told her how often do I get to play being an angel. No I don't drive in the dark but it was around the corner and she was cold and walking so slow. What an wonderful answer from the Creator. Maybe she was the angel?

I can't volunteer but I can love and send my love out into this world/universe for others. I see each day as a new day for of infinite possibilities full of wonder. It's not what you do, but who you are - special & unique (your intention from your heart will guide you)

I have started a class on this subject, I struggle with purpose to. I have been sick 15yrs, i was 29. I recommened reading the book, " The Happiness Trap" it is what the class I am taking through mental health is based on. I am also seeing a counsler who is working on my pain /fatigue in realtion to my depression. She is trained in teaching skills to help me find ways to work with my pain and fatigue and things that aggrivate my depression to decrease some of the sysmptoms that stressors can cause. I will let you know what things I learn that help me, because my hardest issues is finding purpose when all I do is spend my days working with my body just to get through it as comfortable as possible.

I suffer with these feelings, as well. I have voiced them several times to family members who point out things I still do for them. I do what I can and try to broaden my knowledge so that I can be a resource to people. Before my condition worsened, I was the go-to computer nerd for my family, friends and church family. Although I can't make housecalls, I can still troubleshoot and program computers and educate them on how to buy and how to operate them.

You just have to find something you can do and go with it. Even though I'm in bed all day, I watch my grandchildren five days a week, so their mother can work. We have everything setup so that the 8 year old (homeschooled) can help with the other two (2 & 4). I can't do with what I would be able to do healthy, but I'm here.

Wow inpraize that is really great.I have a friend who also suffers with CFS and prayed that same kind of prayer(purpose in life) Right after a friend knocked on her door and asked her to help at the Youth Centre and she's been there at lunchtime for a few years now. There is a volunteer there who has terminal brain cancer but he comes in and can still play pool with the kids. Prayers Isabelle1954

Although I'm trying to get away from seeing my entire identity as an ill person, right now my purpose is just getting better. Next week will be my 7th anniversary with ME. The past 2 years I've been proactive with sleep, pacing, forgiving myself, listening to my body, etc. And I'd say I've gotten 10-20% better than I was in 2011. This year I'm kicking it up another notch with my diet, stress relief, and even (gasp!) exercise.

I've always felt somewhat "free" by letting myself NOT have a deeper purpose. Maybe the day will come when I want/need one, but for now I just think "I do my best to be a good person, I try not to be a drain on the people around me, and I aim to get the most enjoyment out of life possible." I really think it's okay for that to be it.

als382 you are very wise for your young years. Thank-you for your comments. Isabelle1954

I spent years wondering why I am still here. I wasn't "doing" anything to help anyone. I realized that I had to change my definition of being affective. I can't "do" all the things I would like to do but being a valuable human being doesn't mean doing things. I know that God put me here for a reason. I thought it was to raise my kids. I did that and did it well. I have two wonderful granddaughters. I don't see them as often as I would like but they know I love them.

One Sunday a woman came up to me and said, "When I think about not going to church because I'm tired and would rather sleep, I think of you and how hard it must be for you to get to church. So I get up and get going." I felt that I-helped-someone feeling in my heart.

Replying or giving hugs on DS is valuable. My kids call me and I listen to their stories of their jobs or kids. My mom died a year ago and I miss her. She was 92 and lived in Pittsburgh. I'm 64 and live in Vermont so I saw her once a year. But we talked on the phone almost every day. So many times I've thought I wonder what mom will think about that? I feel the loss every time.

I know that my kids need me. My granddaughters need me. And my dogs need me.

I went to Dr. Natelson in Newark, NJ years ago. He told me that if he could he would prescribe a pet for all his patients. I live in a house with a big yard perfect for dogs. They give me a reason to get up in the morning. They need me. They depend on me for food and love and to keep them safe and healthy. They give me so much love and devotion.

Dogs aren't for everyone but a cat or a fish does the same thing without the upkeep. I have a Betta fish and he comes when I tap on the bowl. He doesn't lick my face or curl up next to me in bed but he does need me.

You have to change your perspective. It takes time and patience. My husband helps out a lot. But he works more than full time. I'm alone a lot.

He just retired so I get more help and I like it but a little goes a long way :-)

I have a wonderful therapist who somehow gets me to see the good in my life. And I have a strong faith in God and Jesus Christ. When there is no one to help me, I turn to them. I reach out my hand and ask for help. The help comes in a variety of forms. But it always comes.

You have a network of friends and supporters right here on DS. We've all been there. I've had CFIDS for 16 years. It doesn't get any easier.

I pray that you can find meaning in your life. God bless you.

I agree with you, VickiB. My search for meaning also led me to Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Isabelle1954

als382 you just really helped me out by saying about being ok NOT having a deeper purpose. And Southbound, I really appreciate you articulating this so well coz I was feeling the same way and struggling with it, and that's why I joined this site tonight.

What I know is not helping me is comparing myself to others and feeling both envy and a projected judgement as a result. I have really internalised the idea that I need to achieve something visible to be acceptable. And then when I am lucky, and another, whom I admire, shares that THEY admire ME for what I achieve in relation to being ill, something that scares them, I find it hard to see. Maybe a lot of people feel like that, like their own achievements are not so great....

REBT therapy advocates actually not appraising or measuring yourself at all, either highly or not so.... this is how I'm gonna go today I think. On better days, I am able to accept myself like I accept with love the tree, or the weed or the stone- for just being.

I am also just now thinking, when I feel like this I don't get into the space at all of it not being fair that I'm ill.... perhaps buried in the self judgement for not feeling useful is a part of the self that wants to take control, to be creative an make something happen- perhaps by blaming the self we at least can feel a bit in control- if it's my fault, I must have some say in this, right? I wonder if that's there, and can be made positive... just an idea, perhaps only fitting to me....

Thanks for giving the space for me to explore this today, and for others to share their wisdoms and help me! :-)

I am glad I found this post as everyone sounds so positive. I am 42 just built a home, I am an Occupaitonal Therapist and a Mom of a boy with Aspbergers/ADHD and a graduate student. That is how I define myself. However, over the past 1.5 years I was getting ill and tired and felt like I always had a flu. I am now almost bedridden exceept for a few good days here and there and just confirmed that I have CFS/ME. I am having difficulty accepting this illness, and everyone keeps telling me you look healthy, you aren't sick. I lie in bed most days from exhaustion and feel like I have no purpose. I have no insurance and might have to say goodbye to my carrerr and new home. I worked so hard for this life and I feel like the rug has been pulled. I have had struggles and losses in the past and rebuilt over 10 yearsm, but they say this illness doesn't get better. I am afraid and scared, how do you accept your life when you feel unable to contribute. Today my counsellor told me to accept I am not that person anymore and referred me here as I can't afford to see her anymore. I am angry, sad and alone and thought I would try here to see what I can learn.

Thank you for breaching this topic dear Southbound.
In the past twenty years I have learned much about topics I would never have addressed had I remained healthy.
I am GRATEFUL for the ability to care for myself and discovering the depth of being me. I have learned WE are all connected and can use the time I have in rest for reading, writing, meditating, and praying for
All Peoples by sending Love and Light outward from within.
We are in a position to add to the entire World our deepest Compassion and Love through Mindful Intention.
Please google "The Butterfly Affect." Or is it "Effect," I always confuse those two words... Lol
I think I will goggle it and get my words correct, especially since I desire to be a writer.
You are an IMPORTANT Aspect of Creation Dear Southbound. I am so HAPPY You are here. Look at this Grand discourse you created. It's Wonderful, that We are All here to Support each other!
I am sending you and All Dear Members Love and Light.

I laughed last night like I hadn't in a long time. I looked up the comedian John Pinette on youtube and it was great therapy. When we get down, laughter helps. I understand how you feel. I have down moments too. Hang in there. Remember YOU ARE AMAZING!!!